1 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,799 Okay, one more time from the top. 2 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,639 Six beats, all right? 3 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,199 One, two, three, four. One, two... 4 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:43,119 To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting. 5 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,559 That's very theatrical, Joe. 6 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,559 - Yeah, I know. - Did you make it up? 7 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,199 I wish I had. 8 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,121 - Do you like it? - Well, it's all right. 9 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,643 It's showtime, folks! 10 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:40,130 ♪ They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway ♪ 11 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:47,083 ♪ They say there's always magic in the air ♪ 12 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:54,479 ♪ But when you're walking down that street ♪ 13 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,559 ♪ And you ain't had enough to eat ♪ 14 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,079 ♪ The glitter rubs right off ♪ 15 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,729 ♪ And you're nowhere ♪ 16 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,319 ♪ They say the women treat you fine ♪ 17 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,171 ♪ On Broadway ♪ 18 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,039 ♪ But looking at them ♪ 19 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,879 ♪ Just gives me the blues ♪ 20 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,479 ♪ 'Cause how you gonna make some time ♪ 21 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:39,359 ♪ When all you've got is one thin dime ♪ 22 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,399 ♪ And one thin dime won't even shine ♪ 23 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,888 ♪ Your shoes ♪ 24 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,799 ♪ They say that I won't last too long ♪ 25 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,810 ♪ On Broadway ♪ 26 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,759 ♪ I'll catch the Greyhound bus for home ♪ 27 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,964 ♪ They all say ♪ 28 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,839 ♪ But they're dead wrong I know they are ♪ 29 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:28,919 ♪ 'Cause I can play this here guitar ♪ 30 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,759 ♪ And I won't quit till I'm a star ♪ 31 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,199 ♪ On Broadway ♪ 32 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:35,799 ♪ They say that I won't last too long ♪ 33 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,082 ♪ On Broadway ♪ 34 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,599 "Autumn." Is that your real name? 35 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,679 Yes, sir. 36 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,799 Sure you don't want to change that? 37 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,479 Well, if you give me the job, I'll change it. 38 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,479 ♪ But they're dead wrong I know they are ♪ 39 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,684 ♪ 'Cause I can play this here guitar ♪ 40 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,679 ♪ And I won't quit till I'm a star ♪ 41 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,519 "Victoria Porter." 42 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,159 Is this your, uh... your home phone? 43 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:09,439 ♪ Till I'm a star ♪ 44 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,961 ♪ On Broadway ♪ 45 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,239 ♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪♪ 46 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,799 You were in The Wiz? 47 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,559 I've never been in any show in my life. 48 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,959 I had to put something. I really need a job, so I lied. 49 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,399 That's all right. I lie all the time myself. 50 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,359 Oh, fuck him. He never picks me. 51 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,079 I did fuck him, and he never picks me either. 52 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,719 - You were in Traffic Jam? - Yes, sir. 53 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,439 Who was the director of Traffic Jam? 54 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,799 - You were, Mr. Gideon. - Oh. How was I? 55 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,279 - Terrific. - And who was the choreographer? 56 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,679 - You were, Mr. Gideon. - How was I? 57 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,884 - Fantastic. - That's how you get a job. 58 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,239 God! I hope he doesn't pick her. 59 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,479 She's uglier than a witch's tit. 60 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,119 The expression is "colder than a witch's tit." 61 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,679 How would you know? You've never seen a woman's tit. 62 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,119 Shh! Be quiet. 63 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,439 Okay. Thank you all very much. It was a terrific audition. 64 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,999 Just stay in line. 65 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,239 Now, that's what I call a real drinker's nose. 66 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,439 And you should know, because you're a real drinker, aren't you? 67 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,239 Yeah. 68 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,119 - Also heavy into speed, aren't you? - Yeah. 69 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,846 Also sleep with a great many women. 70 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,559 Real turn-off, huh? 71 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,599 Just the opposite. 72 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,039 I'll make up my mind about the men later, but I know which girls I want now... 73 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,359 Candy, Casey, Rima, Jennifer, and Victoria Porter. 74 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,319 - In the shocking pink leotard? - Yeah. 75 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,599 See if any are willing to be swing dancers. 76 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,079 - She's tone-deaf, Joey. - With those legs, who cares? 77 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,279 Joey, I know you're in a hurry. 78 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,119 - I just want to check your schedule. - Same as always. 79 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,529 Joey? Joey, can we talk a minute, please? 80 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,879 - Joey... - What is it? 81 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,799 - What about Diane? - You left me without a soprano again! 82 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,599 Paul, please, please, will you let me handle it? 83 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,399 - What about Diane? - What about Diane? 84 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,399 - I've had her in three shows. She's wonderful. - She's wonderful. 85 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,759 - He needs a soprano. - You left me without a soprano. I gotta have a soprano! 86 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,639 Gentlemen, Mr. Gideon will make up... 87 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,679 The tall dancer on stage right... 88 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,359 with the blue eye shadow... he'll hit the high notes. 89 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,599 Tovar, Narin-Smith... 90 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:28,239 The five Murray is talking to are the girls I want. Okay with you? 91 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,359 The tall girl, Victoria... I like her, Daddy. 92 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,319 Mm, she's all right. 93 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:39,319 Oh, I really screwed up that marriage. 94 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,525 Because I cheated. Oh, man, I cheated every chance I could get. 95 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,639 Okay with you, Audrey? 96 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,239 Sure, fine with me. What about this weekend with Michelle? 97 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,399 Oh, Jesus! I forgot. I gotta work this weekend. 98 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,439 Oh, Joe, you promised her! 99 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,479 I know I promised, but what am I gonna do? 100 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,679 That's okay. 101 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,724 - I'm sorry, Michelle. - That's okay. 102 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,959 If you want me, I'll be in the cutting room. 103 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,810 He promised me. 104 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,359 Some fucking father! 105 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,119 - Family? - Screwed up. 106 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,561 - Work? - All there is. 107 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,279 If I were God, man... 108 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,370 sometimes I think I am... 109 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,479 Depends on the shit you're smoking. 110 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,999 Mm, okay. 111 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,159 If I were God, man... 112 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,639 everybody would live forever. 113 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,239 No death, man! 114 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,559 No pennies on the eyes for anybody. 115 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:52,159 Well, there are a couple people, like my agent, who booked me into this toilet. 116 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,639 Why is he mumbling like that? 117 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,919 I'll tell you why: 'Cause I'm the dummy who let him mumble like that. 118 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,479 - Right. - Shh! - death and the clap. 119 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,287 So far I've managed to avoid one of them. 120 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,759 You know, man, death is really a hip thing now. 121 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,959 But we all have very different feelings about it. 122 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,439 For instance, to a Catholic, death is a promotion. 123 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,639 Excuse me, Stacy. 124 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,839 Women. 125 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,679 Uh... 126 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,759 hope? 127 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,359 There's all this bullshit about death with dignity. 128 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,999 You know what death with dignity is? You don't drool. 129 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,359 Change-of-pace time. Request. Here we go. 130 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,439 Vic O'Dante. Hey! 131 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,642 Beauty? 132 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,279 - You're a flirt. - Mm-hmm. 133 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,959 ♪ Death is in, death is in ♪ 134 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,559 ♪ Hear them church bells ring ♪ 135 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,799 Ah, I love it, I love it, I love it. 136 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,799 Books, magazine articles, TV shows... 137 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,799 Ken and Barbie dolls who have a mutual suicide pact. 138 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,319 How many times do we have to look at the same thing? 139 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,479 Until he gets it the way he wants it. 140 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,999 There's a lady in Chicago, man, wrote a book... 141 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,999 Dr. Kubler-Ross, with a dash. 142 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,919 This chick, man... 143 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,919 without the benefit of dying herself... 144 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,399 has broken the process of death into five stages... 145 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:25,199 anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 146 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,519 Sounds like a Jewish law firm. 147 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,319 "Good morning. Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance." 148 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,443 Anger. 149 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,559 "Jesus Christ! 150 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:42,519 Goddamn son-of-a-bitch pig-fucking bastards! 151 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,559 Oh, poo!" 152 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,683 Bargaining. 153 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,559 What did I say? Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. 154 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,839 If you happen to get to denial... 155 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,119 denial... "No. 156 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,999 No, that's not me, man. No. Oh, ho-ho! 157 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,599 Somebody else, maybe, but not me. Oh, no. 158 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,039 You got the wrong... How about my mother, man? 159 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,239 She's old, I'm weaned, I'm toilet-trained. I don't need her anymore. 160 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,959 'Bye, Ma. You've been terrific. I love ya, but not me!"' 161 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,199 Mother. 162 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,799 Kind of chubby. And jolly. 163 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,479 And sexy. 164 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,684 Bargaining! Remember her? 165 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,399 "Can we sit down and talk about this like businessmen? 166 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,959 A negotiation, okay? No more hard drugs. 167 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,279 A little grass, maybe, but that's it. 168 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,919 Okay? Look, I promise I won't flash on subways anymore, okay?" 169 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,919 Cat drives a hard bargain. 170 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,202 Depression. 171 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,559 Hi, Katie. 172 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,239 "I'm dying! 173 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,919 Oh, God, am I dying! 174 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,599 Do you want to have dinner together before I go to the theater? 175 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,159 - I can't. - The doctor's not dying! 176 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,439 Should I come over to your apartment later? 177 00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,759 - Yeah, sure. - Father? 178 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,599 Liar, cheat, womanizer. You would've liked him. 179 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,639 Wait a minute. We may be working very late tonight. 180 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,959 - That's okay. - Yeah. 181 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,839 - We'll talk later. - ...for this hospital room! 182 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,839 At those prices, man, who can afford to live? 183 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,279 So... 184 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,209 acceptance. 185 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,039 - "I accept..." - Hold it. 186 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,039 - Hold it, Irv. - You finished, or run it again? 187 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,679 No, I do not want to run it again, thank you. We are finished. 188 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,679 - Thank you, Irv. - Anybody have any ideas? 189 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,199 I like it, Joe. I think it's really funny. 190 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,039 Who asked you, Stacy? 191 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,279 It's too long. I don't know. 192 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,759 Maybe we can get away with it. 193 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,319 Do you suppose Stanley Kubrick ever gets depressed? 194 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:49,359 - You want to work tonight, Joe? - No. I wish I could... 195 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,679 but I gotta work on the show. 196 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:10,440 ♪ It's the perfect ♪ 197 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:15,919 - You have really got something special. - ♪ Way ♪ 198 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:21,519 All right. 199 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,919 I want so to be a movie star. 200 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,919 Oh? 201 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,679 Ever since I was a little kid... 202 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,839 I wanted to see my face on the screen... 203 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,919 40 feet wide. 204 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,759 Oh, yeah? 205 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:45,411 ♪ It's the perfect way ♪ 206 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,879 "I have always depended... 207 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,679 on the kindness of strangers." 208 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,999 You're looking at my nose, aren't you? 209 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,488 - Hmm? - It's crooked. 210 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,759 It goes to the left. See? 211 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:11,043 I mean, like, I could always have it fixed, like that. 212 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,128 Do you think I could be? 213 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,199 - Huh? - You know. 214 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,639 A movie star, I mean. 215 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,559 In the movies. 216 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,001 Well, that's... 217 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,239 I don't know anybody that could answer that question. 218 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,239 It's... 219 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,839 It's a very freaky business, you know? 220 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:40,039 Yeah, I know all about that, but, like... 221 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,719 I want to know what you think. 222 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,526 Do you think I could be a movie star? 223 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,319 No. 224 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,568 Even with a nose job? 225 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,530 Well, that's fair. 226 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:09,039 Like you said, it is a freaky business, though. 227 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,079 You know, you could be wrong, right? 228 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,439 Right. 229 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,079 I don't dance so hot either, do I? 230 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,648 You will. I promise you. 231 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,243 You want to go to bed? 232 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,847 Yeah. 233 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:39,560 ♪ To end a perfect ♪ 234 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,559 ♪ Day ♪ 235 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:56,525 ♪ It's the perfect ♪ 236 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,479 ♪ Way ♪ 237 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,559 ♪ Yay-yay ♪ 238 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,969 ♪ To say ♪ 239 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,999 ♪ I... ♪ 240 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:20,639 ♪ Love you ♪♪ 241 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,079 I'm sorry. 242 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,599 - Oh, am I sorry. - Katie! 243 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,802 I should have called first. 244 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:38,688 Oh, shit! 245 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,879 Did I, like, screw anything up? 246 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,679 No. 247 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,848 I screwed it up. 248 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,004 Oh, I meant to call her. 249 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,603 Oh, boy, you are really something. 250 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,159 I'm Joey's mother. 251 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,319 Ever since he was so high, he's had such a crush on you! 252 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,839 I've always been fond of Joe too. 253 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,279 Of all the children, he was the least worry. 254 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,319 He worked in all those cheap burlesque clubs. 255 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,599 Always around stark-naked girls. 256 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,119 But did it bother him? No. 257 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,679 He never paid any attention. 258 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,079 Never even looked at them. 259 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,682 Amatis: "you love." Amant: "they love." 260 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,519 Amo, amas, amat... 261 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,559 amamus, amatis, amant. 262 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,604 Hey, kid. What kind of language is that? 263 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,839 Oh, it's not a language. 264 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,399 Just some jokes I'm working on. 265 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,199 Some crazy jokes. 266 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,207 "Pu..." "Pu..." 267 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,528 Puella. "Girl." 268 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,090 Oh. 269 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,239 First-year Latin? 270 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,239 It's my kid brother's. 271 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,719 - How old are you? - Nineteen. 272 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,159 Uh-huh. What year were you born? 273 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,559 Uh, 19... uh... 30... 274 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,559 Try 1934. 275 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,839 - Right. 1934. - 1935? 276 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:43,079 Yeah, 1935, yeah. 277 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,760 Now try 1492. 278 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,922 See ya around, kid. 279 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,279 Maybe we could have a drink together sometime. 280 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,289 Oh, sure. 281 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,079 You notice we have these small waitresses here, right? 282 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,319 You know why? Make the drinks look bigger. 283 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,759 That's my favorite one... the one with the big tips. 284 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,119 I got problems too. The other day I went to see my psychiatrist. 285 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,919 I told him I have suicidal tendencies. He says, "From now on, pay in advance." 286 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,199 I don't have to do this for a living. 287 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,719 I have four chinchillas at home in heat. 288 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,119 I make a lot of money I just have trouble passing it. 289 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,799 I just have trouble passing it. Is this on? 290 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,159 First-year Latin! 291 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,679 It's 3:00 in the morning. 292 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,039 Isn't it past your beddy time? 293 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,519 I don't look for big laughs. I'll settle for intelligent nods. 294 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,159 Anything. Wink. 295 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:46,559 You'd better stop lying or your nose will grow. 296 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:50,479 Ooh! Something's growing. 297 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:54,839 The drummer's not really with the band, but he has the car. Married 14 years. 298 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,399 Fourteen years. No children. Strict mother-in-law. 299 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,599 Let's continue on. Right now, ladies and gentlemen... 300 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,679 here he is, tops in taps... 301 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,879 may we present Mr. Joe Gideon! 302 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,844 You're on. 303 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,922 Joey's never done anything to disappoint me. 304 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,047 It's showtime, folks. 305 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:24,199 - Do you believe in love? - I believe in saying "I love you." Helps you concentrate. 306 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,839 Joe, they've asked me to go on tour with the show. 307 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,039 How long? 308 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:34,239 Six months. What do you think? 309 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:38,599 - And you say it all the time. - I say it a lot. A lot. 310 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,759 - When? - When it works. 311 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,439 You know I love you, Katie... 312 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,399 but I think you have to do what's best for you. 313 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,999 Just what do you mean? 314 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,804 Sometimes it doesn't work. 315 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,199 I mean, for your sake... 316 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,448 I think you should go. 317 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,519 Hello, Michael? It's Katie. 318 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,639 So... 319 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,842 did you mean it about dinner? 320 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,799 Wally's at 11:00? You're surprised? 321 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,319 I'm a little surprised. 322 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,279 Thank you. 323 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,006 Okay, Michael. Bye-bye. 324 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,799 I'm a little surprised too. 325 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,639 Isn't that nice? 326 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,968 Now we're all a little surprised. 327 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,239 - Who was that? - Michael Graham. 328 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,359 - Who is Michael Graham? - A dancer in my ballet class. 329 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,759 Straight? Or gay? 330 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,939 What do you mean? 331 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,999 I mean, is he looking to get laid... 332 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,159 or is he looking for Mr. Right? 333 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,805 He's straight. 334 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,450 And tall. 335 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,161 "Michael Graham" is a very tall name. 336 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,519 Goddamn it! 337 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,199 How dare you use my phone... 338 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,399 my telephone... to call somebody who's not gay? 339 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:25,639 I... You can go out with any girl... any girl in town. 340 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,411 That's right. I go out with any girl in town. 341 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,359 - I stay in with you. - Joe, it's not... oh, shit! 342 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,959 I'm spilling everything... the coffee... It's all wrong. 343 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,731 Everything is all wrong. 344 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,999 That's some set of rules you had for her. 345 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,999 Yeah, I know. I know. 346 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,771 As long as you could get away with it, right? 347 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,439 Right. 348 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,039 I don't want to go out with Michael Graham. I don't want to date. 349 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,879 I have no more small talk left. 350 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,679 I don't want to fool around... 351 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,879 I don't want to play games, and I don't want to fight. 352 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,527 I just want to love you. 353 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,604 Katie... 354 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,799 I try to give you everything I can give. 355 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,999 Oh, you give, all right... 356 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,919 presents, clothes. 357 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,839 I just wish... 358 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,646 you weren't so generous with your cock. 359 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,963 That's good! 360 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,687 Maybe I can use that sometime. 361 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,879 Katie, about the goddamn tour... 362 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,279 I don't think you should go. 363 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,164 Wrong reading. 364 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,241 Softly and with feeling. 365 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,170 Don't go. 366 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,522 Please? 367 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,999 Why do you suppose she put up with it? 368 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,839 Oh, I can think of many reasons for wanting to be with you. 369 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,239 Now, don't bullshit a bullshitter. 370 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:49,919 ♪ Take off with us Take off with us ♪ 371 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,439 ♪ We're warming up so take off with us ♪ 372 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,519 ♪ N.Y. to L.A.-yay-yay ♪ 373 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,519 ♪ Goin' all the way-yay-yay ♪ 374 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,599 ♪ Won't you climb aboard ♪ 375 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,879 ♪ You'll ride as smooth as glass ♪ 376 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,279 It's perfect! Didn't I tell you? 377 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,399 ♪ Up there where the clouds are pillow-y ♪ 378 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,759 ♪ You're as close to heaven as you'll ever be ♪ 379 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,119 ♪ Lean back, relax Here come the snacks ♪ 380 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,599 ♪ Drop your diet Have a ball ♪ 381 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,999 ♪ Don't stop with one ♪ 382 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,679 ♪ Try 'em all ♪ 383 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,799 ♪ Music's ready to begin ♪ 384 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,479 ♪ Take out your headset Plug it in ♪ 385 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,799 ♪ What's your answer, chu-u-um ♪ 386 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,119 - Just what the show needs. - ♪ Are you gonna co-o-ome ♪ 387 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,799 ♪ On the coolest, hottest trip ♪ 388 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,759 ♪ That's ever been ♪♪ 389 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,239 Whoa! It's very, very good! 390 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,559 I think we might even get a commercial tie-in with the airlines. 391 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,445 Audrey? 392 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,961 Uh, ask, uh... 393 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,967 Yeah, it's okay. Uh... 394 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,559 let me see what I can do with it. 395 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,319 I think it's just what the show needs. It's catchy, it's bouncy. Right, Ted? 396 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,359 Yeah, it's very bouncy and catchy. 397 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,079 - Could we hear it again? - I'd love to. 398 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,679 Oh! Arnie... 399 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,959 Turn. That is some fucking music. 400 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,519 Turn back. 401 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,959 Arch your back. Extend the right leg. 402 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,119 Ease your partner down gently. Slide. Slide. 403 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,481 Slide! 404 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,799 Have you ever slept with another woman? 405 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,005 I once tried living with two girls... two girls at once. 406 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:47,999 We lived together. 407 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,239 - Laughed together. - Drank together. 408 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,439 Smoked together. 409 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,008 Slept together. 410 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,759 Woke up one morning... 411 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,399 one of them was gone. 412 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,639 On the bureau, she left a note. 413 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,519 I'm sorry. 414 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,999 I cannot share you anymore. 415 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,359 I want you all to myself... 416 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,399 or not at all. 417 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,079 Please. Please try to understand. 418 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:22,159 I not only understood, I... I was flattered. 419 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,840 I was flattered that she felt so strongly about me. 420 00:30:24,841 --> 00:30:27,759 How did you know the note was to you? 421 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:38,639 "No. No, that's not me, man. No. Oh, ho-ho! 422 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,919 Somebody else, maybe, but not me." 423 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,359 - What is this, Eddie? - Got me. Talk to him. 424 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:48,199 Joey, I gotta talk to you about these time sheets. 425 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,519 Three weeks now we've been on triple-time. 426 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,519 The brass is eating my ass out! 427 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,359 You shot 82 days on a 65-day schedule. 428 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,519 On a four-month editing schedule, you've gone seven months. 429 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,519 We're already two million, two over the original budget. 430 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,919 Joey, God made the entire world in six days. 431 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,279 He didn't go on overtime once. 432 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,399 You can't even cut an hour-and-a-half movie... 433 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,519 in seven months, on triple-time? 434 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,679 Joey, I hate to do this. I'm usually a very calm man... 435 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:20,039 but this whole thing has got me terribly crazy. 436 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,839 I must put my foot down. The whole thing has gotta stop. 437 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,759 It has to stop. It's got to stop! 438 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,039 It just simply must stop! 439 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,719 Josh, I made a few changes in the monologue. I think you'll like it. 440 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,839 I have to go to rehearsal. 441 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,039 - At those prices, who can afford to live? - See you at 5:30, Eddie. 442 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,679 Nice talking to you, Josh. 443 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,639 So I accept! 444 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:47,159 Oh, my God. It is better. 445 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,319 - God help us all. - Wait a minute. Real dead body. 446 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,199 It's better. 447 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,759 Okay, that looks good. I like it. Everybody down, in a straight line. 448 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,559 Come on. Here we go. Move down, move down. 449 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,439 Move down, Victoria. And sing it out. Here we go. 450 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,439 Five, six, seven, eight. 451 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,639 ♪ And any seat ♪ 452 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,879 ♪ You grab will be first-class ♪ 453 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,839 Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. And I don't like it. 454 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,484 Uh, double that. 455 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,879 - Which button? - The white one. Down. 456 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,719 That stinks. Let's try something else. Do me a favor. 457 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,879 Take off your shoes. 458 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,039 What's that? 459 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,719 - It's a mint. - Can I have one? 460 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,079 No. Come on. You wouldn't like it. 461 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,439 Let me try this. 462 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,719 Here, you stand over here and then jump up on my shoulder. 463 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,199 God, you're getting heavy! 464 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,439 Put your leg in an arabesque. There we are. 465 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,559 - How are things at home? - Pretty good. 466 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,039 All right. 467 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,159 All right, watch your back, now. 468 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,959 - Anything you want to tell me? - I promised Mom I wouldn't bring it up. 469 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,439 But you're gonna bring it up anyway. 470 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,759 Sit down, Michelle. You can tell me anything. 471 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,639 Gimme your wrists. Ready, and... 472 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,119 jump! 473 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,239 It's just that I keep wondering, Dad... 474 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,759 Bend your knees. 475 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,999 What is it you keep wondering? 476 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,359 Why don't you get married again? 477 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,564 Do a head roll. 478 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,519 I don't get married again because I can't find anyone... 479 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,599 I dislike enough... 480 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,599 to inflict that kind of torture on. 481 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,439 Hey, why don't you marry Katie? She's terrific. 482 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,159 Keep rolling your head. 483 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,039 Straighten your leg. 484 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,919 Yeah, you're right. She's terrific. 485 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,279 That's exactly why I don't want to marry her. 486 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,719 Run off in the corner and jump, and I'll catch you. 487 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,239 What about Victoria? You're not too crazy about her. 488 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,519 Just run and jump. Never mind that. 489 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,688 Come on. And... 490 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,199 - What about the blonde? - What blonde? 491 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,999 The one in Philadelphia with the television show? 492 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,399 You know, the one Mom keeps talking about. 493 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,159 - Oh, yeah. That blonde. - Mm-hmm. 494 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,359 Jump up and wrap your legs around me. 495 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,450 Wrap around. That's it. 496 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,479 Why is it so important to you that... Follow my hand. 497 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,559 Why is it so important that I get married again? 498 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,039 'Cause then you'd settle down and stop screwing around. 499 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,239 Hey! Watch your language. 500 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,159 Oh, shit! 501 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,079 - Look at the time. - Can't we stay a little longer? 502 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,919 - No, your mother will kill me. - It's so much fun! 503 00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,239 - No. Absolutely. Come on. - Just five minutes! 504 00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:49,359 Stop flocking your legs. Come on! 505 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,599 - I'll get you home. - Please? 506 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,759 No, no, no, no. 507 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,119 Besides, if you got married again... 508 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,279 maybe you'd have a baby, and I'd have a little brother. 509 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,599 I'll call Hertz and rent you a brother. 510 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,929 - Very funny. - Oh, everybody's a critic. 511 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,210 Showtime, folks. 512 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,719 Showtime. 513 00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:26,719 Five, six, seven, eight. 514 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:29,199 Stop smiling. Lay back. 515 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,479 Lay back! 516 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,319 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 517 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:36,159 Candy, Casey, very good. You're gonna do it again, Victoria. 518 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,239 Gary, Danny, let's go. 519 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,799 Stop smiling. It's not the high-school play. 520 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,199 - Count. - Five, six, seven, eight. 521 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,359 Hold it. 522 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,719 Stand on your right foot. 523 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,679 Point your left toe. 524 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,479 Drop that shoulder. 525 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,160 Now, that's not too hard, is it? 526 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,449 Again. 527 00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:07,763 Five, six, seven, eight. 528 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:13,087 Lay back, Victoria. Lay back! Lay back! 529 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,764 Hold it, hold it. 530 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,079 - I'm sorry. - No, you're right. 531 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,799 I'm terrible. I know I'm terrible. 532 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,199 I look in the mirror, and I'm embarrassed. 533 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,559 Maybe I should quit. I... I just can't... 534 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,842 seem to do anything right. 535 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:47,848 Listen, I can't make you a great dancer. 536 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:52,079 I don't even know if I can make you a good dancer. 537 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,682 But if you keep trying and don't quit... 538 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,926 I know I can make you a better dancer. 539 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:05,247 And I... I'd like very much to do that. 540 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,684 Stay? 541 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,842 Are you gonna keep yelling at me? 542 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,519 Probably. 543 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,639 Five, six, seven, eight. One and two... 544 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,525 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, one, two. 545 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,399 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, one, two. 546 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,879 - Better. - All right! 547 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,199 Breathe deep. Again. 548 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,839 Hold it. 549 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,159 All right, you can turn around now. 550 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,368 Breathe deep. 551 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,444 Again. 552 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,881 All right, you can put your shirt on now. 553 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,919 Well, Doctor? Does he pass? 554 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,839 Good. Now I'm worth a million dollars. 555 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,566 That's only if you die before February 1. 556 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,479 Schedules, Goldie... always schedules. 557 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,479 Can we take you to lunch, Doctor? 558 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,799 ♪ And any seat ♪ 559 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,479 - ♪ You grab will be first-class ♪ - One, two, three, four... 560 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,239 five, six, seven, eight. 561 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:37,279 Nah, that's no good either. Let's try this. 562 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,999 - There's your 412th. - I do the same as before? 563 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,519 Yeah, same thing, only I'll be behind you. Ready? 564 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,279 ♪ And any seat you grab ♪ 565 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,359 ♪ Will be first-class ♪ 566 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,599 Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 567 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,639 All right, let's everybody try it. 568 00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:00,039 Grab a partner. Sandahl, you do it alone. 569 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,439 Okay, here we go. Ready? 570 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,239 Five, six, seven... 571 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:07,559 ♪ And any seat you grab ♪ 572 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,559 ♪ Will be first-class ♪ 573 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,559 And feet together. Five, six, seven, eight. 574 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,079 Do it again. 575 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,726 Once more, everybody. 576 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,759 Ready? Five, six, seven... 577 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,199 ♪ And any seat you grab ♪ 578 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,519 ♪ Will be first-class ♪ 579 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,079 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 580 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,159 Okay. 581 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,439 Okay, once more, everybody. 582 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,759 I gotta get out of here. I'll be back later. 583 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,407 - How does this look, Paul? - I love it. Love it. 584 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,522 No. It's too cute. 585 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,443 Oh, shit! 586 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,282 I can't go back to that room. I can't face those dancers. 587 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,999 I'm stuck. 588 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,559 They keep staring at me, and nothing's coming out. 589 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,399 - Oh, boy, that number's lousy! - My song? Lousy? 590 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,479 No, not the song. Me, me. 591 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,479 The way I'm staging it. 592 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,799 - Maybe we should cut it. - "Cut it"? 593 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:45,719 I think I'll leave. 594 00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:48,159 Paul, sit right there. 595 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,840 Go back to bar 17. 596 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,043 And... 597 00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:03,319 Did you hear what I said? Nothing is coming. 598 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,679 Don't worry, Paul. 599 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:10,079 He always says the same thing about every number in every show. 600 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,279 How the hell do you know what I always say? 601 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,879 Don't you think it would be better if I stepped outside? 602 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,039 Keep playing, Paul. 603 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:23,279 I'm only doing this show because you want to play that stupid 24-year-old girl. 604 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,279 I knew sooner or later you'd say that. 605 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,959 You do think I'm too old for the part. 606 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,999 Well, you're wrong. 607 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,599 I can play 24 years old... 608 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,079 and I'll damn well prove it. 609 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,839 You want to quit the show? Quit the show. 610 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:44,479 You don't have to do anything for me... 611 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:48,159 but just don't kid yourself that you're doing this show... 612 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,959 for any other reason except guilt about me. 613 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,686 Guilt? What guilt? 614 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,159 For never going one day when you were faithful to me. 615 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,442 Oh. That guilt. 616 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,079 Faithful, faithful! 617 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,639 You're always talking about being faithful. 618 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,446 Audrey, why do you think so small? 619 00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,599 Besides, how do I know you were faithful to me? 620 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,079 Oh, you know I was. 621 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:20,799 That's right. I know you were. 622 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,959 Oh! You meant to do that. 623 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,679 Yes, I did. 624 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,719 You kept me working all the time. 625 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,559 I never had a chance to cheat. 626 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,199 What is this big hang-up you've got about fidelity? 627 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,279 What makes you think that being faithful... 628 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,799 is the greatest friggin' virtue in the world? 629 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:38,759 Excuse me. Well... 630 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,359 it is a great deal better than those... 631 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,199 meaningless affairs you keep tap-dancing through... 632 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,599 those Stacys, those Victorias. 633 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,719 You're not even fooling Michelle with Victoria, you know. 634 00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:52,479 Straighten that leg. 635 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,799 It is as straight as it's ever going to get. 636 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,399 Oh! The Boonies... 637 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,719 the Wendys, the Debbies, the Donnas... 638 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:03,319 I can't even remember all their names. Give me a hand. 639 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,719 Keep playing, Paul. 640 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:08,079 Bet you can't either. 641 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:12,119 Quick, tell me: What was the name of the girl in Philadelphia... 642 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,971 the blonde with the television show? 643 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,679 Ah. The blonde with the television show. 644 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,759 The blonde in Philadelphia? I remember that girl's name. 645 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,479 I remember because that girl meant something to me. 646 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,809 The blonde with the television show, her name was Sweetheart. 647 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,488 - Honey? - No. 648 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,530 Baby? 649 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,769 I can't remember her name. 650 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,079 Dorothy. 651 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,879 - Dorothy. - Who cares? 652 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,526 I can't remember her name. 653 00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:59,047 The number's looking good. Keep working. 654 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:09,599 - Is he gonna cut the number? - No, I don't think so, Paul. 655 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,327 He's gonna cut it. He's gonna cut it. 656 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,999 Oh, God, that man! 657 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,479 He's gonna drive me crazy. 658 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,682 It's showtime, folks. 659 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,559 It's, uh... It's not quite ready yet. 660 00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,399 And, uh, Paul... 661 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,919 it's not exactly the way we talked about it. 662 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,159 - Hmm? - It's a little different. 663 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,159 - You mind doing that somewhere else? - Sorry. 664 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,559 If you want to come in, I'll show you in five minutes. 665 00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,411 I want to get a drink of water. 666 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:37,169 ♪ Take off with us-s-s-s-s ♪ 667 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:43,799 ♪ Take off with us-s-s-s-s ♪ 668 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,479 - ♪ We're warmin' up, so ♪ - ♪ We're warmin' up ♪ 669 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,879 ♪ N.Y. to L.A.-yay-yay ♪ 670 00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,959 ♪ Going all the way-yay-yay ♪ 671 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,719 ♪ Won't you climb aboard ♪ 672 00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:58,839 ♪ You'll ride as smooth as ♪ 673 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:05,605 ♪ Glas-s-s-s ♪ 674 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,524 ♪ Meet our friendly eager crew ♪ 675 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:15,999 ♪ They only live to service you ♪ 676 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,839 - ♪ Service, service, service, service ♪ - ♪ Service you, service you ♪ 677 00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:24,039 ♪ This flight This flight comes complete ♪ 678 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,599 ♪ With your choice of seat ♪ 679 00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:30,399 ♪ And any seat you grab ♪ 680 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:35,208 ♪ Will be first-class-s-s-s-s ♪ 681 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,199 ♪ Up there where the clouds are pillow-y ♪ 682 00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,599 ♪ You're as close to heaven as you'll ever be ♪ 683 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,519 ♪ Lean back, relax ♪ 684 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,563 ♪ Here come the snacks ♪ 685 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,999 ♪ Drop your diet Have a ball ♪ 686 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:59,569 ♪ Don't stop, don't stop don't stop with one ♪ 687 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,011 ♪ Try 'em all ♪ 688 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,799 - ♪ Try 'em all ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 689 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:13,243 ♪ Music's ready to begin ♪ 690 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,199 ♪ Take out your headset Plug it in ♪ 691 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,199 ♪ What's your answer, chu-u-um ♪ 692 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,799 ♪ Are you gonna co-o-ome ♪ 693 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,439 ♪ On the coolest, hottest ♪ 694 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,479 ♪ Coolest, hottest ♪ 695 00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:36,919 ♪ Coolest, hottest trip ♪ 696 00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,999 - ♪ That's ever been ♪ - ♪ Don't you, don't you, don't you, don't you wanna go higher now ♪ 697 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,679 ♪ Don't you, don't you, don't you don't you wanna go higher now ♪ 698 00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:48,119 - ♪ Fly, fly, fly, fly ♪ - ♪ Don't you, don't you, don't you, don't you wanna go higher now ♪ 699 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,368 ♪ Lean back, relax ♪♪ 700 00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:56,479 Thanks, thanks a lot, but it's not exactly over yet. 701 00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,968 - Murray? - Smoke, smoke... 702 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,599 smoke, smoke. 703 00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:08,439 The lights go down, and a light comes up over there. 704 00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,359 Welcome. 705 00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:14,519 Welcome aboard Airotica. 706 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:18,359 ♪ Take off with us ♪ 707 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,599 Flying not only coast-to-coast... 708 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,879 But anywhere your desires and fantasies wish to take you. 709 00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:30,319 ♪ Take off with us ♪ 710 00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:33,399 Let us all get to know one another. 711 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,519 Remember: We can take you anywhere. 712 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:40,439 - They're taking their clothes off. - Mm-hmm. 713 00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:45,399 Just reach out your hand and introduce yourselves. 714 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:49,002 - My name is Sandahl. - My name is Autumn. 715 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,959 - My name is Jennifer. - My name is Rima. 716 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,279 - Gary. - John. 717 00:50:16,240 --> 00:50:18,439 Uh-oh. 718 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,723 I think we just lost the family audience. 719 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:43,159 - My name is Candace. - My name is Jennifer. 720 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,959 - My name is Rima. - My name is Danny. - My name is Autumn. 721 00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:50,239 - My name is Sandahl. - My name is John. - My name is Gary. 722 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:56,930 And don't forget about our group fun-fun-fun plan. 723 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:09,402 Now Sinatra will never record it. 724 00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,966 Then an actor comes out from the side of the stage and says... 725 00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,639 "Not once during any of our flights..." 726 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:09,599 - Good-bye. - See you around. 727 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:13,119 - Hope to see you again soon. - It was nice to have met you. 728 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,919 - You mean a lot to me. - Well, uh... 729 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,319 - Good-bye. - "Our motto is... 730 00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,119 'We take you everywhere but get you nowhere."' 731 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,439 I hate to hurt his feelings... 732 00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,039 - but we can't have that on a stage. - Take five? 733 00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,005 - Sure. - Take five. 734 00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,610 Well? 735 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,119 Eh, it's, um... 736 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,322 It's, uh... 737 00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,359 interesting. 738 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,279 Mm, yes. Very interesting. 739 00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,639 Did you like it? 740 00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,605 - It's unusual. - Mm-hmm. Very unusual. 741 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:18,449 Ooh, I don't think they liked it. 742 00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:23,159 What do you think? 743 00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:26,439 I don't know about the audiences... 744 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,564 but I think it's the best work you've ever done. 745 00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,848 You son of a bitch. 746 00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,839 Jesus Christ! Sex, sex, sex! 747 00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,999 Can't he ever think of anything else but sex? 748 00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,567 It's a sickness. 749 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:55,399 Nah. Nothing I ever do is good enough. 750 00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:58,799 It's not beautiful enough, it's not funny enough... 751 00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,686 it's not deep enough, it's not anything enough. 752 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:07,919 Now, when I see a rose, that's perfect. 753 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,039 I mean, that's perfect. 754 00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:14,159 I want to look up to God and say, "How the hell did you do that... 755 00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,119 and why the hell can't I?" 756 00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,719 That's probably one of your better con lines. 757 00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:22,519 It is, but that doesn't mean I don't mean it. 758 00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,799 If I were God... 759 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,162 sometimes I think I am... 760 00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,559 Depends on the shit you're smoking. 761 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,759 If I were God, man... 762 00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,079 everybody would live forever. 763 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,239 No death, man. No pennies on the eyes for anybody. 764 00:56:41,240 --> 00:56:44,039 You know, man, death is really a hip thing now. 765 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,999 Death is in. 766 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,719 - Books, magazine articles, TV shows... - It's terrific! 767 00:56:48,720 --> 00:56:51,919 Ken and Barbie dolls who have a mutual suicide pact. 768 00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,239 Bury them in a little shoebox. Knew a guy who bought a pair. 769 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:58,489 He was into doll necrophilia. 770 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,399 If it cooks! 771 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,279 All right, little thing! Whoo! 772 00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:05,999 It's terrific! 773 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,079 There's a lady in Chicago, man, wrote a book... 774 00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,159 Dr. Kubler-Ross, with a dash. 775 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:15,285 This chick, man, without the benefit of dying herself... 776 00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:19,519 has broken the process of death into five stages... 777 00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:22,759 anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 778 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,039 - That's it. Eddie. - Kill it, Irv. 779 00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:29,519 - Got time to make some changes? - Not and make the screening tonight, no. 780 00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:33,519 - I cannot believe people are gonna see this. - Neither can I. 781 00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,239 - It's a bomb. - Really? 782 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:38,759 Yeah, really. You're gonna have to make a speech. 783 00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:41,439 Tell 'em it's a rough cut, we're not finished yet... 784 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:44,639 - or any excuse you can think of. - Why don't you tell 'em? 785 00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:47,839 - I'm not gonna be there. - You're not coming to the screening? 786 00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,039 - Where you gonna be? - Hiding someplace. 787 00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:53,039 Probably vomiting or drinking... or both. 788 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,479 We'll start recutting Monday morning. 789 00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,399 They really bought that love story? 790 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:02,119 Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't answering the phone. 791 00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,279 I think they told me they liked it. 792 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,879 Just wasn't answering the phone. 793 00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:09,399 Come on. Don't bullshit a bullshitter. 794 00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:12,119 No, I don't believe you would. 795 00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:14,479 I'll have her home by 10:30. Don't worry. 796 00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,799 Bye. 797 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:20,004 Oh, shit! 798 00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,679 Hello. Stacy? 799 00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:28,079 Oh, listen. I'm sorry. I'm in a meeting. 800 00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:30,679 Just don't panic on the staircase. 801 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,999 At least three people said how much they liked the screening. 802 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,079 One was my producer... 803 00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:40,679 one was my lawyer, and one was Michelle's mother. 804 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,679 Joe, everybody loved it. 805 00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,519 We tried to tell you that last night. You wouldn't listen. 806 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,839 That was the first R-rated movie I ever saw, and I loved it. 807 00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:52,679 - Did you understand it? - Well, I understood everything... 808 00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,719 except the part where the two girls were in bed together kissing. 809 00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,199 What was that supposed to mean? 810 00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,039 - Is dinner ready yet? - No. 811 00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:05,279 - What was that supposed to mean? - Well, Michelle... 812 00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,679 uh, there are certain women who... 813 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,199 - Who...? - Thanks a lot. 814 00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:13,119 Yeah. 815 00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,439 There are certain women who just... 816 00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,039 don't relate to men, so they... 817 00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:21,559 I think lesbian scenes are a big turn-off. 818 00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:26,889 You're right: I should've cut it. 819 00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:30,611 - What's goin' on here? - Never mind. You'll find out. 820 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:37,208 - Couldn't I be doin' something? - Just sit there and turn off the lights when we tell you. 821 00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,839 - Turn on the phonograph when we tell you. - Yes, ma'am. 822 00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,928 Oh, no! No, don't... 823 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:51,079 - Where'd you get those hats? - We're not telling you. 824 00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:54,119 - That's for us to know and you to find out. - Get back! 825 00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:57,961 - The lights! - Joe, could you turn off the lights? 826 01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,679 Now turn on those whatchamacallit lights. 827 01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:05,325 Yes, ma'am. 828 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:17,799 Crash! Ladies and gentlemen, in honor... 829 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,919 of "el stink-o," "el blotto" screening... 830 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,879 of Joe Gideon's new film, The Stand-up... 831 01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,079 we are proud to present... 832 01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:29,279 those two dancing sensations, Jagger and Gideon... 833 01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,959 - Gideon and Jagger!... - Gideon and Jagger!... 834 01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,679 give us our music, Joe... in an under-rehearsed tribute. 835 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,279 - Sit down, Joe. - Sit down, Daddy. 836 01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,211 And... go! 837 01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:49,999 - I'm nervous. - I'm nervous too. 838 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,770 - Wait for it. - Wait for it. 839 01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,124 Let's go, let's go! 840 01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,879 ♪ When trumpets were mellow ♪ 841 01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:14,439 ♪ And everyone only had one fellow ♪ 842 01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:18,319 ♪ No need to remember when ♪ 843 01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:21,399 ♪ 'Cause everything old is new again ♪ 844 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,839 ♪ I said everything old is new again ♪ 845 01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:29,599 ♪ Dancin' at your Long Island jazz-age parties ♪ 846 01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,679 ♪ Waiter, let me have some more Bacardis ♪ 847 01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:35,759 ♪ Let's order now what they ordered then ♪ 848 01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:39,679 ♪ 'Cause everything old is new again ♪ 849 01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,319 - ♪ Get out your white suit your tap shoes and tails ♪ - Scoop, scoop. 850 01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:46,519 - ♪ Let's go backward when forward fails ♪ - Great timing. Strut. 851 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:49,919 - I know. - ♪ Movie stars that you thought were long dead ♪ 852 01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:53,806 - Look familiar, Joe? - ♪ Now are framed beside your bed ♪ 853 01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:57,759 ♪ Don't throw the past away ♪ 854 01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:01,159 ♪ You might need it some rainy day ♪ 855 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:04,039 ♪ Dreams can come true again ♪ 856 01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:07,519 ♪ 'Cause everything old is new again ♪ 857 01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:11,079 ♪ I said everything old is new again ♪ 858 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:15,399 ♪ Get out the tap shoes the tap shoes and tails ♪ 859 01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,759 - ♪ Let's go backward when forward fails ♪ - Hop! Hop! Hop! 860 01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,639 - ♪ Leave Greta Garbo alone ♪ - Strut! Strut! 861 01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:24,759 - Go get him! - ♪ Be a movie star on your own ♪ 862 01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:26,519 ♪ And don't throw ♪ 863 01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:29,239 ♪ Don't throw the past away ♪ 864 01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:33,399 ♪ Oh, we're all gonna need it some rainy day ♪ 865 01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:36,319 ♪ Dreams can come true again ♪ 866 01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,519 ♪ When everything old is new again ♪ 867 01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:44,719 - ♪ I said everything old is new again ♪ - Pretty pictures. 868 01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:48,039 ♪ I might fall ♪ 869 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:51,839 ♪ I might fall ♪ 870 01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:55,439 - ♪ In love ♪ - Watch your feet. 871 01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:59,799 ♪ In love ♪ 872 01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:03,039 ♪ With ♪ 873 01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:05,083 ♪ You again ♪♪ 874 01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:14,879 - Can we do it again? - I don't want to! 875 01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:41,521 It's showtime, folks. 876 01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:46,239 And these two columns revolve New York to L.A. 877 01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,279 And over here on the other side, the same thing. 878 01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,319 Two staircases come down here... 879 01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:53,839 and two more come back into the orchestra. 880 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,439 Oh, and this centerpiece moves out... 881 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,599 for the interior scenes... 882 01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:00,519 and up there, that's Stan. 883 01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:05,559 But you'll get familiar with it when we start. 884 01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:08,159 Okay, now, all I want to do now... 885 01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,039 is to read easily through the script... 886 01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:14,519 and frankly, I'm not too familiar with it myself. 887 01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:19,839 So if we go through it... 888 01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:23,199 you'll give Paul and me some rough idea of what we've got. 889 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:25,999 Okay. No acting. 890 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,959 Everyone just take it easy. Easy. 891 01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:31,719 All right, lights up. 892 01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,039 Audrey, you have your first number... 893 01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:36,402 and then you begin reading on page two. 894 01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:40,959 "You see, Sammy, in California, everybody needs a car. 895 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:45,688 I got a friend who bought a Mercedes just to get to the bathroom." 896 01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:21,639 "I guess only in America... 897 01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,879 can a 24-year-old girl like me... 898 01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:27,368 own a house like this in Beverly Hills." 899 01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:34,119 Thank you all very much. You've done a wonderful job. 900 01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,039 Take an hour and a half for lunch. Back at 3:00. 901 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:39,319 Don't forget to sign the Boston hotel list. 902 01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:05,999 - Excuse me. - Anything wrong? 903 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:07,884 No, no. Nothing. 904 01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:20,088 - There's no use to panic till we find out what it really is. - Would you stop that? 905 01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:26,199 Dr. Ballinger is looking at him now. Ballinger is the best there is, Audrey. 906 01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:29,359 - Dr. Hyman, we just left him. - About half an hour ago. 907 01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,439 - And he seemed fine. - Just fine. 908 01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:35,479 Well, he called. He said he had chest pains. His left arm was numb. 909 01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:39,162 I'm bewildered myself. I checked him about a month ago. 910 01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:43,239 All right, who's in charge of this all-important... 911 01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:45,839 million-dollar show that Mr. Gideon keeps talking about? 912 01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:47,639 I guess I am. 913 01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:51,599 Mr. Gideon is having attacks of angina that could lead to a massive coronary. 914 01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:55,359 Ah, shit! I gotta get back. I'm fine. What do doctors know? 915 01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:58,119 About angina, just a little more than show people. 916 01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:02,079 If you want to leave, fine, but I think you'll die. Can I see you? 917 01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:03,930 Dr. Hyman? 918 01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:10,159 The pain is gone. Nothing wrong with me a rewrite wouldn't cure. 919 01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:13,399 - Couple of good jokes is what I need. - You can't leave now. 920 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,919 - Yes, I can. - Damn it, Joe! 921 01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:19,879 Didn't you hear what the doctor just said? 922 01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:22,128 Please, stay. 923 01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,479 Joey, I've been talking to Dr. Ballinger... 924 01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:34,519 Jonesy, wait a minute. Let me talk to the star here. 925 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:38,079 If I stay, how much time are we talking about? 926 01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:40,759 At least two or three weeks. 927 01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:42,879 You've got to be kidding! 928 01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:44,919 I got a show to put on! 929 01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,239 For chrissakes, will you talk to these people? 930 01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:49,319 They don't understand anything! 931 01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:51,319 Oh, Jesus. 932 01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:53,719 - What's wrong? - Miss Collins. 933 01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:55,359 - All right, easy. - Damn it. 934 01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:57,679 You guys are doing this to me. 935 01:08:57,680 --> 01:08:59,959 I wasn't sick until I got here. 936 01:08:59,960 --> 01:09:03,164 - What's wrong with him? - It's exhaustion. 937 01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:08,728 You're lying to me. 938 01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:11,444 Yes. 939 01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:18,479 Uh, no, I'm not a member of his immediate family. 940 01:09:18,480 --> 01:09:20,959 I'm, uh... I'm his girlfriend. 941 01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,719 Well, could I leave a message for him, please? 942 01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:26,446 Could you tell him that... Hello? 943 01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:32,879 It was just simply exhaustion. 944 01:09:32,880 --> 01:09:35,759 He just tried to do too much. 945 01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:38,119 Anyway... 946 01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:41,799 we've made a decision to postpone the show for four months. 947 01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:46,439 - The doctors assured us Joe will be fine. - There goes my new apartment. 948 01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:49,439 Therefore the show will definitely be done. I promise. 949 01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:54,839 Now, we're aware of the... 950 01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:58,479 - financial burdens this might impose... - I gave up a TV series. 951 01:09:58,480 --> 01:10:00,879 - On some of you, and... - What a dummy. 952 01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:03,999 We're prepared to try to get you... 953 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:07,799 temporary jobs, or even lend you money. 954 01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:11,399 Jonesy, easy on the money, easy on the money. 955 01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:14,809 All right, Larry. All right, okay. 956 01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:18,919 We don't have a lot of cash available, but... 957 01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:21,959 what I'd like to say to you is... 958 01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,119 I... we... 959 01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:27,359 think of you all as family. 960 01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:29,239 - Bullshit. - And we want to do... 961 01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:31,599 everything we possibly can... 962 01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:34,039 to keep you all together. 963 01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:37,559 I was with him last night. Already he's much better. 964 01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:39,919 I just left him an hour ago. 965 01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:42,519 He was in a great mood... making jokes... 966 01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:44,639 making passes at all the nurses... 967 01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:49,039 and he told me to tell all of you he has a terrific idea... 968 01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:52,479 - for a new hospital number. - Hold it, Audrey! 969 01:10:52,480 --> 01:10:55,039 Hospital number, hospital number! 970 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:58,239 Just give me a minute. Stan, will you give me some room? 971 01:10:58,240 --> 01:11:01,399 - How does the title "Hospital Hop" grab you? - It grabs me. 972 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:03,648 Great, great. 973 01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:09,039 - I think I got it. I got it! - I think he's got it! 974 01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:11,519 Stan, help me out, please. 975 01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,326 Clap your hands! 976 01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:21,919 Cheer up! 977 01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:24,487 Let's go! Everybody! 978 01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:36,919 And Lucas... 979 01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:39,599 they are without question an absolutely... 980 01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:41,639 marvelous cast. 981 01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:44,839 Now we gotta wait around four months. 982 01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:46,999 Maybe even lose them. 983 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:51,039 I can see where it'd be difficult to hold a cast like that together. 984 01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:53,479 It's really a shame. 985 01:11:53,480 --> 01:11:56,199 And, of course, even after four months... 986 01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:58,839 a heart attack... 987 01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:01,679 There's no guarantee that he'll be able to work. 988 01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:03,639 None. 989 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:06,366 Jules, it's still too bright. 990 01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:11,079 - Take number seven down to five... - And he's the greatest. 991 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:13,328 - And eight down to two. - Hmm. 992 01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:18,639 And Lucas, I think we have a sure hit. 993 01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:21,079 A sure hit. 994 01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:23,044 Reads like a dream. 995 01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:26,799 I'd love to read it sometime. 996 01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:29,679 I'll get a copy to you this afternoon. 997 01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:32,724 Oh, I forgot. Wait a minute. 998 01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:38,159 I've got one right here with me. 999 01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,567 Dimmer five up to three. 1000 01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,479 Hold that. That's good. 1001 01:12:43,480 --> 01:12:46,279 I know you couldn't care less about the money. 1002 01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:50,199 - Hmm? - What do you think about this, Lucas? 1003 01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:52,402 Is it any better? 1004 01:12:53,440 --> 01:12:57,879 No. No, no. It needs to be more... shadowy. 1005 01:12:57,880 --> 01:12:59,999 We talked about this, Jules. 1006 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,239 It's a seduction scene. 1007 01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,091 Take the shadow lights to half. 1008 01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:09,999 How much, uh... is Joe getting? 1009 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:13,239 Five percent of the gross until payoff. 1010 01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:16,799 Then he goes to six percent. Twenty percent of subsidiary rights... 1011 01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:20,083 - including a movie sale. - Thanks. That's good. 1012 01:13:23,160 --> 01:13:26,079 Well... 1013 01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:29,409 of course my schedule's impossible, but, uh... 1014 01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:37,319 you know how I feel about you, Jonesy. 1015 01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:39,399 You've been like a father to me. 1016 01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:41,967 And you a son to me. 1017 01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:45,999 I always look for the worst in people. 1018 01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:47,919 A piece of you in them? 1019 01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:50,479 Yeah. A piece of me. 1020 01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:52,599 And generally, I find it. 1021 01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:56,439 Well, it may take you years, but you'll find it. 1022 01:13:56,440 --> 01:13:59,962 Oh, you're cute. You are cute. 1023 01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:09,599 It's looking better. 1024 01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:12,759 I think we'll move you upstairs to a private room. 1025 01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:14,959 Oh, yeah. 1026 01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:18,559 But you better rest. If you don't, you're in for trouble. 1027 01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:21,799 Oh, I will, Doctor. 1028 01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:25,971 I promise. I will. 1029 01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:42,924 Mr. Gideon! 1030 01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:53,399 Mr. Gideon, what are you doing? 1031 01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:56,759 Oh, this? I was just getting rid of it. 1032 01:14:56,760 --> 01:15:00,279 I caught someone smoking and told him a man in my condition... 1033 01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:02,479 shouldn't even be around smoke. 1034 01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:14,199 I'm telling you, Gideon, I got real insight into you. 1035 01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:17,039 There's a deep-rooted fear of being conventional. 1036 01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:19,083 Right. 1037 01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:27,359 Your blood pressure is higher than we hoped. 1038 01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:29,359 Your cardiograms haven't improved one bit. 1039 01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:32,564 If you don't give a damn, it's hard to expect us to. 1040 01:15:41,960 --> 01:15:43,969 Mr. Gideon! 1041 01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:48,079 I'll leave these menus with you. 1042 01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:51,279 Please check off what you want for the coming weeks, okay? 1043 01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:55,399 Monday, I'll have roast beef. Tuesday, chicken. Wednesday, steak. 1044 01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:59,519 Thursday I plan to be dead, so... I'll just have something light. 1045 01:15:59,520 --> 01:16:01,210 Mr. Gideon! 1046 01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:11,119 She wrote a little note on the back. She said you'd understand. 1047 01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:13,999 "Dear loving, giving, generous"... 1048 01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,559 underlined four times... "Dad... 1049 01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:20,759 I hear nurses are nice people. Hint, hint. 1050 01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:24,439 Your poor, brother-less daughter." 1051 01:16:24,440 --> 01:16:27,007 Joe, what does it mean? 1052 01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:30,959 It means she's inherited her mother's determination. 1053 01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:33,039 That's what it means. 1054 01:16:46,000 --> 01:16:49,119 Oh, no. Thank you. No, no, no, no. 1055 01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:52,399 You're wonderful, wonderful. The word "superstar"... 1056 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,599 is greatly overused in this business. 1057 01:16:54,600 --> 01:16:56,359 - Mm. - But for my next guest... 1058 01:16:56,360 --> 01:16:59,079 the word "superstar" is totally inadequate. 1059 01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:03,599 Whenever I do a benefit... and I've done 150, 160, 170 this year... 1060 01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:07,639 all for very worthy causes... I can always count on this dude... 1061 01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,799 to be right there with me. 1062 01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:12,919 I feel humbled in his presence. 1063 01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:16,119 From deep, deep in here, ladies and gentlemen... 1064 01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:18,519 - let me lay on you... - A great entertainer. 1065 01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:21,559 - A great entertainer... - A great humanitarian. 1066 01:17:21,560 --> 01:17:25,039 - A great humanitarian... - And my dear friend for 25 years. 1067 01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:27,519 And my dearest, dearest friend for20years... 1068 01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:29,919 You missed by five years. 1069 01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:32,199 Oh, boy, do I hate show business. 1070 01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:34,319 Joey, you love show business. 1071 01:17:34,320 --> 01:17:38,047 That's right. I love show business. I'll go either way. 1072 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:52,479 I got insight into you, Gideon. 1073 01:17:52,480 --> 01:17:54,679 You know what's underneath? 1074 01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:57,759 The dreadful fear that you're ordinary... 1075 01:17:57,760 --> 01:17:59,759 not special. 1076 01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:01,883 Right. 1077 01:18:03,400 --> 01:18:06,999 I think... 1078 01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:08,999 I think... 1079 01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,799 I'm getting an erection. 1080 01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:14,402 Oh, Mr. Gideon, don't... don't do that! 1081 01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:18,119 That sex thing... Jesus! 1082 01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:20,719 Listen, I wouldn't say you were a faggot... 1083 01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:23,999 but you do have a lot of feminine characteristics. 1084 01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:25,770 Right? 1085 01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,679 Right. 1086 01:18:37,520 --> 01:18:41,042 You are foolishly and childishly flirting with disaster. 1087 01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:44,559 Joe, what are you doing? 1088 01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:47,809 You're really crazy! What do you want to do, kill yourself? 1089 01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:53,766 Dr. Ballinger told me to get a little exercise. 1090 01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:59,239 Everything he does seems to be a denial of his condition. 1091 01:18:59,240 --> 01:19:02,879 Dr. Ballinger, every time I've seen him, I get the impression... 1092 01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:05,999 that he doesn't care whether he lives or dies. 1093 01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:08,959 Yes, I know. But I think he cares a lot. 1094 01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:11,919 Starting now, we'll limit his visitors to no more than two. 1095 01:19:11,920 --> 01:19:14,319 Joe, I wish you could have been there. 1096 01:19:14,320 --> 01:19:17,239 9:30 this morning, before a single review was out... 1097 01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:20,239 the line at Cinema One was around the block. 1098 01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:24,039 The people know. I mean, the people know! 1099 01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:27,839 This broke every first-day record. It's a blockbuster. A blockbuster. 1100 01:19:27,840 --> 01:19:31,359 I mean a blockbuster! 1101 01:19:31,360 --> 01:19:34,279 And those guys in California... 1102 01:19:34,280 --> 01:19:36,439 You wouldn't believe the telephone calls. 1103 01:19:36,440 --> 01:19:40,199 "Congratulations," they say. "We're glad you took your time. 1104 01:19:40,200 --> 01:19:42,479 It was worth it. 1105 01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:46,839 Every dollar we put in that film is up there on the screen." 1106 01:19:46,840 --> 01:19:50,879 I'm telling you, they're talking about a $ 3 1/2 million advertising budget. 1107 01:19:50,880 --> 01:19:53,199 Three and a half million dollars! 1108 01:19:53,200 --> 01:19:55,679 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Do you believe that? 1109 01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:57,679 Three and a half million dollars! 1110 01:19:57,680 --> 01:20:00,039 This picture is going right through the roof. 1111 01:20:00,040 --> 01:20:02,279 Right through... 1112 01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:03,959 the roof! 1113 01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:06,279 Look at those reviews. See? We did it. 1114 01:20:06,280 --> 01:20:09,359 Joe, we did it! 1115 01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:11,479 Where are the bad ones? 1116 01:20:11,480 --> 01:20:13,839 There are no bad ones. 1117 01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:15,959 Josh. 1118 01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:19,959 There were a couple that quibbled a little. I left them at the office. 1119 01:20:19,960 --> 01:20:23,879 I want you to do me a favor: Don't show them to me. 1120 01:20:23,880 --> 01:20:25,559 Never. 1121 01:20:25,560 --> 01:20:29,319 - How were the television reviews? - I think we got Leslie Perry. 1122 01:20:29,320 --> 01:20:31,799 At the screening, she told me she loved it. 1123 01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:35,479 Following Joe Gideon's triumphant directorial achievement... 1124 01:20:35,480 --> 01:20:37,879 with Fifty Beautiful Girls, Fifty... 1125 01:20:37,880 --> 01:20:40,039 when he won every possible award... 1126 01:20:40,040 --> 01:20:43,759 it would be nice to report that Mr. Gideon's latest effort... 1127 01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:45,999 The Stand-up, starring Davis Newman... 1128 01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:47,799 was a better film. 1129 01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:52,039 - Oh, boy. Here it comes. - The Stand-up, however, does not quite stand up. 1130 01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:55,359 - Joey, turn it off, please. - Leaning toward the frenetic, Gideon falls... 1131 01:20:55,360 --> 01:20:57,879 into his characteristic weakness of trying too hard... 1132 01:20:57,880 --> 01:21:00,359 - to please, to entertain. - I'm gonna turn that off. 1133 01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:03,119 - Josh, no. I want to hear it. - Slickness obscures reality. 1134 01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:06,279 - The old razzle-dazzle obliterates drama. - What the hell does she know? 1135 01:21:06,280 --> 01:21:08,719 She never gave anything a good review. 1136 01:21:08,720 --> 01:21:12,879 That woman is totally unqualified to criticize anything. 1137 01:21:12,880 --> 01:21:15,199 She doesn't know a goddamn thing about film. 1138 01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,879 - Or anything. - She's not even reviewing a film. 1139 01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:20,039 She's telling you how clever she is! 1140 01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:23,839 where the has-been comic, played impeccably by Davis Newman... 1141 01:21:23,840 --> 01:21:26,239 demonstrates his former brilliance... 1142 01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:28,679 in a monologue where clearly... 1143 01:21:28,680 --> 01:21:32,239 director Gideon gave Mr. Newman free rein. 1144 01:21:32,240 --> 01:21:34,799 Rising above rather commonplace material... 1145 01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:38,439 - the actor creates a classic comic aura... - I don't care what she says. 1146 01:21:38,440 --> 01:21:41,759 I guarantee this picture will do 30 million domestic, at least. 1147 01:21:41,760 --> 01:21:46,039 - One of you better get somebody. - What? 1148 01:21:46,040 --> 01:21:48,159 I think I'm in trouble. 1149 01:21:48,160 --> 01:21:52,399 - I'll get somebody. - ...chopping offends of scenes before the drama has played out... 1150 01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:54,759 left this reviewer with bewilderment... 1151 01:21:54,760 --> 01:21:56,999 and a four-aspirin headache. 1152 01:21:57,000 --> 01:22:00,279 Using my four-balloon rating system... 1153 01:22:00,280 --> 01:22:03,609 I give The Stand-up half a balloon. 1154 01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:10,679 - How are you feeling? - The truth? 1155 01:22:10,680 --> 01:22:12,679 I'm scared. 1156 01:22:21,880 --> 01:22:24,519 Roll 'em. Action. 1157 01:22:24,520 --> 01:22:27,451 Oh-ho-ho-ho, my God. 1158 01:22:35,520 --> 01:22:38,559 Ladies and gentlemen, the doctors. 1159 01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:41,239 I'm Dr. Hyman, the internist. 1160 01:22:41,240 --> 01:22:43,439 I'm Dr. Garry, the surgeon. 1161 01:22:43,440 --> 01:22:47,159 - I'm Dr. Ballinger, the cardiologist. - Five, six, seven, eight. 1162 01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:50,409 ALL EXPLAINING CARDIOLOGY: VOICES OVERLAPPING 1163 01:22:56,920 --> 01:22:58,849 Huh? 1164 01:23:00,800 --> 01:23:03,559 That means he had total blockage... 1165 01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:07,479 in... two arteries. 1166 01:23:07,480 --> 01:23:09,959 Oh! 1167 01:23:09,960 --> 01:23:12,839 This is the man who would be my first choice... 1168 01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:14,679 as a modern-day saint. 1169 01:23:14,680 --> 01:23:16,919 When I was in those marches, like Selma... 1170 01:23:16,920 --> 01:23:20,559 this brother was shufflin' right alongside me... 1171 01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:24,199 long before those other cats who thought civil rights was a hip scene... 1172 01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:26,719 and jumped on the "blackwagon"... 1173 01:23:26,720 --> 01:23:28,599 The blackwagon! 1174 01:23:31,360 --> 01:23:33,559 Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay on ya... 1175 01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:35,839 - A great entertainer. - a great entertainer... 1176 01:23:35,840 --> 01:23:38,839 - A great humanitarian. - a great humanitarian... 1177 01:23:38,840 --> 01:23:41,359 - And my dearest friend. - and my dearest, dearest friend... 1178 01:23:41,360 --> 01:23:43,599 - For years. - for 17years. 1179 01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:45,519 Let's hear it... 1180 01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:49,119 - See how much I learn from you? - I'm afraid you've learned too much. 1181 01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:52,039 There you are, Mr. Gideon. This is one of my... 1182 01:23:52,040 --> 01:23:54,359 A1, first-rate, top-drawer jobs. 1183 01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:56,559 That's it. 1184 01:23:56,560 --> 01:23:58,922 Good luck tomorrow. 1185 01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:03,799 Wh-What did you mean, I learned too much from you? 1186 01:24:03,800 --> 01:24:06,519 You're gonna make it. I'm hardly ever wrong. 1187 01:24:06,520 --> 01:24:07,926 Thanks. 1188 01:24:14,040 --> 01:24:16,479 You remember last Tuesday night? 1189 01:24:16,480 --> 01:24:18,479 It was raining... 1190 01:24:18,480 --> 01:24:20,599 very hard. 1191 01:24:20,600 --> 01:24:23,565 Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was raining. What about it? 1192 01:24:25,400 --> 01:24:28,251 I called you at midnight. 1193 01:24:29,040 --> 01:24:31,891 I must have been walking the dog. 1194 01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:37,966 I don't have time for this sort of thing. 1195 01:24:38,960 --> 01:24:41,288 You were with someone. 1196 01:24:42,120 --> 01:24:43,970 Yes. 1197 01:24:45,400 --> 01:24:47,602 And you made love to him. 1198 01:24:49,080 --> 01:24:50,770 Yeah. 1199 01:24:54,320 --> 01:24:56,759 Well, that's it, huh? 1200 01:24:56,760 --> 01:24:59,645 - We're finished? - I don't know. 1201 01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:03,802 How do you feel about me? 1202 01:25:04,760 --> 01:25:06,639 I love you. 1203 01:25:06,640 --> 01:25:09,491 Then I guess we're not finished. 1204 01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,330 Be-Because I really do love you, Katie. 1205 01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:20,119 - You mean that? - Ah, hell, no! 1206 01:25:20,120 --> 01:25:22,759 I was pissed off at her. 1207 01:25:22,760 --> 01:25:24,559 I don't know. 1208 01:25:24,560 --> 01:25:27,279 Yeah, I did mean it. Sort of. 1209 01:25:27,280 --> 01:25:30,802 Sometimes I don't know where the bullshit ends and the truth begins. 1210 01:25:31,840 --> 01:25:34,319 I just wanted to say something nice to her. 1211 01:25:34,320 --> 01:25:36,279 Why? 1212 01:25:36,280 --> 01:25:39,404 In case, uh... 1213 01:25:40,960 --> 01:25:43,242 "In case." 1214 01:25:52,160 --> 01:25:54,761 In case. 1215 01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:04,719 If I die... 1216 01:26:04,720 --> 01:26:06,879 I'm sorry for all... 1217 01:26:06,880 --> 01:26:09,679 the bad things I did to you. 1218 01:26:09,680 --> 01:26:12,719 And if I live... 1219 01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:14,919 I'm sorry for all the bad things... 1220 01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:17,487 I'm gonna do to you. 1221 01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:25,959 as stated in the declarations, sustained directly and solely... 1222 01:26:25,960 --> 01:26:29,839 as the result of injury, sickness, death of, or permanent disability... 1223 01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:33,519 Excuse me, Mr. Clark. 1224 01:26:33,520 --> 01:26:36,690 Larry, give me our figures. 1225 01:26:37,480 --> 01:26:41,199 Well, on an estimated production budget... 1226 01:26:41,200 --> 01:26:44,039 of $941,000... 1227 01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:48,199 with a contingency of 59,000 to round it out to the million... 1228 01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:51,959 so far we're in for at least two-thirds of the fees. 1229 01:26:51,960 --> 01:26:55,199 Design: 8,000. Costumes: 8,000. 1230 01:26:55,200 --> 01:26:57,199 Electrics: 4,000. 1231 01:26:57,200 --> 01:27:00,999 We're in for the full director-choreographer: 15,000. 1232 01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:03,919 Casting is another four. 1233 01:27:03,920 --> 01:27:06,239 Construction of scenery... 1234 01:27:06,240 --> 01:27:08,399 where more than half has been done... 1235 01:27:08,400 --> 01:27:11,399 that's 125,000-plus. 1236 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:14,559 Stage manager's about 8, 000. 1237 01:27:14,560 --> 01:27:16,959 Press agent: 1,500. 1238 01:27:16,960 --> 01:27:20,719 Musicians: about two. 1239 01:27:20,720 --> 01:27:24,959 Assistants, secretaries, et cetera: 3,000. 1240 01:27:24,960 --> 01:27:29,359 Rehearsal halls and auditions: 9,500. 1241 01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:32,319 Script and administrative: 1,500. 1242 01:27:32,320 --> 01:27:36,199 Managers: I'd say 10. 1243 01:27:36,200 --> 01:27:38,839 Advertising and printing: about 20, 000. 1244 01:27:38,840 --> 01:27:43,090 Orchestrations: so far around 10,000. 1245 01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:48,959 Legal: 10,000. Auditing: 2,000. 1246 01:27:48,960 --> 01:27:53,079 Payroll taxes: maybe seven. 1247 01:27:53,080 --> 01:27:54,679 Well, seven. 1248 01:27:54,680 --> 01:27:58,119 Author's advances: 10,000. Equity bonds: 50,000. 1249 01:27:58,120 --> 01:28:01,799 Rehearsal salaries... and we've made some advances to a few of the cast... 1250 01:28:01,800 --> 01:28:03,999 about 43,000. 1251 01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:06,959 We're in for about, uh... 1252 01:28:06,960 --> 01:28:09,559 $480,500. 1253 01:28:09,560 --> 01:28:11,199 Yes. 1254 01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:13,199 That's the figure I had here. 1255 01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:15,289 And change. 1256 01:28:16,360 --> 01:28:18,719 Let me try to understand. 1257 01:28:18,720 --> 01:28:22,799 Of that figure, how much do we recoup? 1258 01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:26,399 I'm confused too. Do we get all of that or part or what? 1259 01:28:26,400 --> 01:28:29,279 Simply, here are the options. One: 1260 01:28:29,280 --> 01:28:31,199 If Mr. Gideon recovers... 1261 01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:33,559 and you resume production within the 180 days... 1262 01:28:33,560 --> 01:28:35,399 we are not liable for any of it. 1263 01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:37,799 Two: If Mr. Gideon should die... 1264 01:28:37,800 --> 01:28:41,959 and you resume production with another director within the 180 days... 1265 01:28:41,960 --> 01:28:45,119 we are still not liable. 1266 01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:46,959 Three, however: 1267 01:28:46,960 --> 01:28:50,079 If Mr. Gideon should expire before February 1... 1268 01:28:50,080 --> 01:28:53,759 and you abandon production... 1269 01:28:53,760 --> 01:28:56,119 we are liable for the full million dollars. 1270 01:28:56,120 --> 01:28:58,519 This means, gentlemen... 1271 01:28:58,520 --> 01:29:01,041 you could make a profit of... 1272 01:29:02,840 --> 01:29:07,887 $519,500. 1273 01:29:08,680 --> 01:29:11,599 You could be the first show on Broadway... 1274 01:29:11,600 --> 01:29:15,043 to make a profit without really opening. 1275 01:29:17,880 --> 01:29:19,889 Well... 1276 01:29:21,200 --> 01:29:24,051 it's all very clear to me. 1277 01:29:33,040 --> 01:29:36,199 There's all this bullshit about death with dignity. 1278 01:29:36,200 --> 01:29:38,439 You know what death with dignity is, man? 1279 01:29:38,440 --> 01:29:40,959 You don't drool. 1280 01:29:40,960 --> 01:29:43,599 Change-of-pace time. Request. Here we go. 1281 01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:45,479 Vic O'Dante. Hey! 1282 01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:48,359 ♪ Death is in Death is in, my dear ♪ 1283 01:29:48,360 --> 01:29:50,359 ♪ Death is the thing ♪ 1284 01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:52,999 Oh, that's very theatrical, Joe. 1285 01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:55,601 Please don't try to talk. 1286 01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,922 - You want to shoot it now? - Huh? 1287 01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:03,439 I can't understand him. I think he said "okay." 1288 01:30:03,440 --> 01:30:05,559 "Hospital Hallucination," take one. 1289 01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:09,079 There's a lady in Chicago, man, wrote a book. 1290 01:30:09,080 --> 01:30:12,479 Dr. Kubler-Ross, with a dash. This chick, man... 1291 01:30:12,480 --> 01:30:16,279 - without the benefit of dying herself... - On your marks, now. 1292 01:30:16,280 --> 01:30:18,719 Has broken the process of death into five stages... 1293 01:30:18,720 --> 01:30:20,759 - Ready? And... - Anger, denial, bargaining... 1294 01:30:20,760 --> 01:30:22,799 depression, and acceptance. 1295 01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:26,039 Playback. 1296 01:30:34,880 --> 01:30:37,439 ♪ After you've gone ♪ 1297 01:30:37,440 --> 01:30:39,479 ♪ And left me cryin' ♪ 1298 01:30:39,480 --> 01:30:41,759 ♪ After you've gone ♪ 1299 01:30:41,760 --> 01:30:44,119 ♪ There's no denyin' ♪ 1300 01:30:44,120 --> 01:30:46,119 ♪ You'll feel blue ♪ 1301 01:30:46,120 --> 01:30:48,759 ♪ You'll feel sad ♪ 1302 01:30:48,760 --> 01:30:52,919 - ♪ You'll miss the bestest pal ya ♪ - ♪ Ever had ♪ 1303 01:30:52,920 --> 01:30:55,519 ♪ There'll come a time ♪ 1304 01:30:55,520 --> 01:30:57,359 ♪ Don't forget it ♪ 1305 01:30:57,360 --> 01:30:59,679 ♪ There'll come a time ♪ 1306 01:30:59,680 --> 01:31:02,199 ♪ When you'll regret it ♪ 1307 01:31:02,200 --> 01:31:04,559 ♪ Some day ♪ 1308 01:31:04,560 --> 01:31:06,759 ♪ When you grow lonely ♪ 1309 01:31:06,760 --> 01:31:09,119 ♪ Your heart will break like mine ♪ 1310 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:11,759 ♪ And you'll want me only ♪ 1311 01:31:11,760 --> 01:31:14,199 ♪ After you've gone ♪ 1312 01:31:14,200 --> 01:31:16,479 ♪ After you've gone ♪ 1313 01:31:16,480 --> 01:31:19,039 ♪ After you've gone ♪ 1314 01:31:37,240 --> 01:31:45,440 ♪ After you've gone ♪ 1315 01:31:47,680 --> 01:31:50,724 - ♪ Away ♪ - ♪ Away ♪♪ 1316 01:31:51,800 --> 01:31:54,919 Cut! 1317 01:31:54,920 --> 01:31:57,359 Want to print it? 1318 01:31:57,360 --> 01:32:01,042 Jesus, Joe, you're way behind schedule! You gotta print it. 1319 01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:05,199 - Next setup. - Roll 'em. 1320 01:32:05,200 --> 01:32:07,323 "Katie," take two. 1321 01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:11,279 Listen, huh? 1322 01:32:11,280 --> 01:32:13,779 Playback! 1323 01:32:47,760 --> 01:32:50,559 ♪ You better change your way of livin' ♪ 1324 01:32:50,560 --> 01:32:53,479 - ♪ And if that ain't enough ♪ - She's right. Listen. 1325 01:32:53,480 --> 01:32:57,119 ♪ You better change the way you strut your stuff ♪ 1326 01:32:57,120 --> 01:32:59,999 ♪ 'Cause nobody wants you when you're ♪ 1327 01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:01,839 ♪ Old and gray ♪ 1328 01:33:01,840 --> 01:33:05,319 ♪ You better change your way today ♪ 1329 01:33:05,320 --> 01:33:08,319 ♪ You better change your way ♪ 1330 01:33:08,320 --> 01:33:10,839 Can you hear me, Joe? I'm talkin' to ya. 1331 01:33:10,840 --> 01:33:13,839 - Ya gotta lay off the booze, Joe. - Ax the amphetamines. 1332 01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:15,999 You gotta stop screwin' around, Daddy. 1333 01:33:16,000 --> 01:33:18,079 ♪ You better stop ♪ 1334 01:33:18,080 --> 01:33:20,239 ♪ You better change ♪ 1335 01:33:20,240 --> 01:33:22,359 ♪ You better stop ♪ 1336 01:33:22,360 --> 01:33:24,559 ♪ You better change ♪ 1337 01:33:24,560 --> 01:33:26,719 ♪ You better stop You better change ♪ 1338 01:33:26,720 --> 01:33:29,679 ♪ You better stop, you better change You better stop ♪ 1339 01:33:29,680 --> 01:33:33,279 ♪ And change your ways today ♪ 1340 01:33:33,280 --> 01:33:36,599 ♪ I said stop, change, stop ♪♪ 1341 01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:39,399 - Please? - Cut! 1342 01:33:42,320 --> 01:33:45,490 Huh? 1343 01:33:46,160 --> 01:33:49,479 - Print it. - "Old Friends," take three. 1344 01:33:49,480 --> 01:33:52,039 Playback. 1345 01:34:22,480 --> 01:34:25,919 - ♪ Who's sorry now ♪ - It hurts, doesn't it? 1346 01:34:25,920 --> 01:34:29,199 ♪ Who's sorry now ♪ 1347 01:34:29,200 --> 01:34:33,639 ♪ Whose heart is aching ♪ 1348 01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:37,639 - Just look at you, Daddy. - ♪ For breaking each vow ♪ 1349 01:34:37,640 --> 01:34:41,799 - All those broken vows. - ♪ Who's sad and blue ♪ 1350 01:34:41,800 --> 01:34:45,839 ♪ Who's crying too ♪ 1351 01:34:45,840 --> 01:34:50,279 ♪ Just like we cried over you ♪ 1352 01:34:50,280 --> 01:34:53,799 - And we cried a lot. - Oh, a lot. 1353 01:34:53,800 --> 01:34:57,163 - Me too. - ♪ Boo-hoo ♪ 1354 01:34:59,760 --> 01:35:03,679 - ♪ Right to the end ♪ - It's getting close, Joe. 1355 01:35:03,680 --> 01:35:07,999 - ♪ Just like a friend ♪ - Where were you, Joe? 1356 01:35:08,000 --> 01:35:12,039 We tried to warn you ♪ 1357 01:35:12,040 --> 01:35:14,119 ♪ Somehow ♪ 1358 01:35:14,120 --> 01:35:16,766 You didn't listen, Daddy. You didn't listen. 1359 01:35:20,560 --> 01:35:24,479 ♪ You had your way ♪ 1360 01:35:24,480 --> 01:35:29,639 ♪ Now you must pay ♪ 1361 01:35:29,640 --> 01:35:33,559 ♪ We're glad that ♪ 1362 01:35:33,560 --> 01:35:40,609 ♪ You're sorry now ♪♪ 1363 01:35:42,640 --> 01:35:45,525 Cut! 1364 01:35:48,480 --> 01:35:50,399 You blew it. You forgot your line. 1365 01:35:50,400 --> 01:35:53,399 At the end of this number, you're supposed to say, uh... 1366 01:35:53,400 --> 01:35:56,399 - What's he supposed to say? - He's supposed to say... 1367 01:35:56,400 --> 01:35:59,599 "I don't want to die. I want to live." 1368 01:36:02,800 --> 01:36:05,199 Well, look, if you can't say it, you can't. 1369 01:36:05,200 --> 01:36:07,359 We'll just have to cut it. 1370 01:36:07,360 --> 01:36:11,279 Cut it. Take me up. Next setup. 1371 01:36:35,640 --> 01:36:41,959 ♪ Some of these days ♪ 1372 01:36:41,960 --> 01:36:46,359 ♪ You're gonna miss me, Daddy ♪ 1373 01:36:46,360 --> 01:36:50,679 ♪ Some of these days ♪ 1374 01:36:50,680 --> 01:36:54,719 ♪ You're gonna feel so lonely ♪ 1375 01:36:54,720 --> 01:36:58,759 ♪ You'll miss her huggin' ♪ 1376 01:36:58,760 --> 01:37:03,679 ♪ You'll miss her kissin' ♪ 1377 01:37:03,680 --> 01:37:07,043 ♪ You'll miss me, Daddy ♪ 1378 01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:12,399 ♪ If you go away ♪ 1379 01:37:12,400 --> 01:37:16,599 ♪ I'll feel so lonely ♪ 1380 01:37:16,600 --> 01:37:20,879 ♪ Just for you only ♪ 1381 01:37:20,880 --> 01:37:24,839 ♪ For you know, Daddy ♪ 1382 01:37:24,840 --> 01:37:28,199 ♪ You had your way ♪ 1383 01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:30,039 A lot. 1384 01:37:30,040 --> 01:37:34,719 ♪ And if you leave her ♪ 1385 01:37:34,720 --> 01:37:39,439 ♪ You know, you know, you're gonna gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna grieve her ♪ 1386 01:37:39,440 --> 01:37:43,399 ♪ You're gonna miss your sweet, little, lovin' ♪ 1387 01:37:43,400 --> 01:37:46,570 ♪ Baby daughter Michelle ♪ 1388 01:37:47,680 --> 01:37:52,359 - ♪ Some of these days ♪ - Don't die, Daddy! Don't die! Please? 1389 01:37:52,360 --> 01:37:57,399 - ♪ Some of these days ♪ - You can't leave this poor little kid without a father! 1390 01:37:57,400 --> 01:38:01,999 - ♪ Some of these days ♪ - She needs ya, Joe! She needs ya! 1391 01:38:02,000 --> 01:38:07,411 ♪ Some of these days ♪♪ 1392 01:38:12,720 --> 01:38:15,319 Oh, no. 1393 01:38:15,320 --> 01:38:17,959 You don't have any lines here. 1394 01:38:21,440 --> 01:38:25,479 Real dead body Real dead body. 1395 01:38:25,480 --> 01:38:27,799 And... sticks. 1396 01:38:29,880 --> 01:38:31,919 Please don't try to talk. 1397 01:38:31,920 --> 01:38:35,799 If you want to tell me anything, just write it on this pad. 1398 01:38:39,600 --> 01:38:42,929 No. No. Come on, not now. 1399 01:38:44,840 --> 01:38:46,359 Please leave. 1400 01:38:46,360 --> 01:38:48,642 - Please? - ♪ Who's sorry now ♪ 1401 01:38:49,440 --> 01:38:53,039 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. Just go. 1402 01:38:53,040 --> 01:38:54,759 "Am I alive?" 1403 01:38:54,760 --> 01:38:57,566 All right, Joe. 1404 01:38:59,360 --> 01:39:01,239 Yes, you are alive. 1405 01:39:01,240 --> 01:39:05,126 This is gonna hurt a little. 1406 01:39:07,280 --> 01:39:09,319 Hmm. 1407 01:39:09,320 --> 01:39:11,879 That came out nice. 1408 01:39:11,880 --> 01:39:15,119 Miss Paris, would you like to see something nice? 1409 01:39:15,120 --> 01:39:19,559 Oh, that is beautiful! 1410 01:39:19,560 --> 01:39:23,639 That is an absolutely beautiful scar, Dr. Garry. 1411 01:39:23,640 --> 01:39:27,239 - Mm. Thank you. - How soon do you think he'll be able to work? 1412 01:39:27,240 --> 01:39:31,079 Well, he's out of intensive care, back in a private room. 1413 01:39:31,080 --> 01:39:33,519 The doctor says it's just a matter of rest. 1414 01:39:33,520 --> 01:39:37,439 Two months at the outside. 1415 01:39:37,440 --> 01:39:40,599 You know Joey. This morning he said he could hardly wait. 1416 01:39:40,600 --> 01:39:43,119 Said he had a lot of new ideas. 1417 01:39:43,120 --> 01:39:45,799 Mm. And not all that sex stuff, either. 1418 01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:48,399 Well, that's terrific. 1419 01:39:48,400 --> 01:39:51,879 You must feel really good about that, Jonesy. 1420 01:39:51,880 --> 01:39:55,439 Relieved. We're all relieved. 1421 01:39:55,440 --> 01:39:57,239 Check, please. 1422 01:39:57,240 --> 01:40:00,999 I did some thinking about your script and made a few notes. 1423 01:40:01,000 --> 01:40:02,879 Ah! My. 1424 01:40:02,880 --> 01:40:06,880 Use them, don't use them... you know, whatever you want. 1425 01:40:08,560 --> 01:40:13,239 I hate to bother you, but are you... Lucas Sergeant? 1426 01:40:13,240 --> 01:40:15,559 - Yes. - Would you mind? 1427 01:40:15,560 --> 01:40:17,967 No, no. Not at all. 1428 01:40:19,240 --> 01:40:23,570 I'm an actress, and next to Joe Gideon, you're my favorite director. 1429 01:40:25,440 --> 01:40:28,405 I'm so sorry your show was a flop. 1430 01:40:31,840 --> 01:40:35,089 - Best of luck with your career. - Thank you so much. 1431 01:40:36,480 --> 01:40:40,199 Lucas, you put in an awful lot of work on this. 1432 01:40:40,200 --> 01:40:41,879 I'm moved. 1433 01:40:41,880 --> 01:40:45,719 - Yoo-hoo! Teddy! - For somebody to do something like this just... 1434 01:40:45,720 --> 01:40:49,599 just out of friendship, it touches me. 1435 01:40:49,600 --> 01:40:53,199 Listen, what are friends for? We're all rooting for each other. 1436 01:40:53,200 --> 01:40:55,639 I'm just pleased that Joe is well again. 1437 01:40:55,640 --> 01:40:58,764 - Let me get this. - No, Lucas. This is on me. 1438 01:41:00,960 --> 01:41:03,128 I said I'll get this. 1439 01:41:04,240 --> 01:41:07,159 I can't believe it. 1440 01:41:07,160 --> 01:41:09,839 Joe, what's the matter? 1441 01:41:09,840 --> 01:41:12,519 I'm having a heart attack. 1442 01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:14,639 No, that's impossible, Mr. Gideon. 1443 01:41:14,640 --> 01:41:16,719 I just gave you your medication. 1444 01:41:16,720 --> 01:41:19,239 Goddamn it, he knows the symptoms! 1445 01:41:19,240 --> 01:41:21,279 Will you call somebody, please? 1446 01:41:21,280 --> 01:41:24,319 He can't be in pain... 1447 01:41:24,320 --> 01:41:27,559 - but let me take his pulse. - How can it be? 1448 01:41:27,560 --> 01:41:29,159 Goddamn it, get somebody! 1449 01:41:29,160 --> 01:41:32,599 But I just gave you your medication 20 minutes ago. 1450 01:41:32,600 --> 01:41:34,319 You can't possibly be in pain. 1451 01:41:34,320 --> 01:41:36,999 At least you're getting use out of the equipment. 1452 01:41:37,000 --> 01:41:39,279 That's funny, Doctor. 1453 01:41:39,280 --> 01:41:42,879 I gotta tell you, it hurts like a son of a bitch. 1454 01:41:42,880 --> 01:41:45,519 Miss Briggs, two milligrams of morphine, please. 1455 01:41:45,520 --> 01:41:48,599 - What's this? - That's my name and address. 1456 01:41:48,600 --> 01:41:51,326 You can send my check there. 1457 01:41:52,520 --> 01:41:54,599 Feeling any pain now? 1458 01:41:54,600 --> 01:41:56,719 - Bitch! - What? - No. 1459 01:41:56,720 --> 01:42:01,039 But something is... something is breaking up in there. 1460 01:42:01,040 --> 01:42:03,322 Now, that I like. 1461 01:42:04,880 --> 01:42:07,719 Something's gone wrong. 1462 01:42:07,720 --> 01:42:10,199 All wrong. 1463 01:42:10,200 --> 01:42:12,846 No. 1464 01:42:13,360 --> 01:42:16,119 - No. - Oh, my God. 1465 01:42:16,120 --> 01:42:17,879 Where's Mr. Gideon? 1466 01:42:17,880 --> 01:42:21,199 Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 1467 01:42:21,200 --> 01:42:25,559 - Anger. - No. No. 1468 01:42:25,560 --> 01:42:27,919 - No! Not now. - "Jesus Christ! 1469 01:42:27,920 --> 01:42:31,319 Goddamn son of a bitch, pig-fucking bastards!" 1470 01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:34,599 - Not now. - I don't know. 1471 01:42:34,600 --> 01:42:39,044 We were busy with an emergency, and the next thing I noticed, he was gone. 1472 01:42:39,640 --> 01:42:43,919 Denial? Denial? 1473 01:42:43,920 --> 01:42:46,879 "No. No, that's not me, man. No. Oh, ho-ho! 1474 01:42:46,880 --> 01:42:49,919 No, somebody else, maybe, but not me. Oh, no. 1475 01:42:49,920 --> 01:42:52,519 You got the wrong... How about my mother, man? 1476 01:42:52,520 --> 01:42:54,559 She's old. I'm weaned. I'm toilet-trained. 1477 01:42:54,560 --> 01:42:57,319 I don't need her anymore... 'Bye, Ma. You've been terrific. 1478 01:42:57,320 --> 01:42:59,519 I love ya! But not me. "' 1479 01:43:01,680 --> 01:43:05,566 Oh, Jesus, don't take me out now. 1480 01:43:06,680 --> 01:43:09,199 What's the matter? 1481 01:43:09,200 --> 01:43:11,599 Don't you like musical comedy? 1482 01:43:13,160 --> 01:43:14,759 Bargaining. 1483 01:43:14,760 --> 01:43:17,439 Finished, or do you want to run it again? 1484 01:43:17,440 --> 01:43:19,959 Yes, I'd like to run it again. 1485 01:43:19,960 --> 01:43:22,686 I'd like to run the whole thing again. 1486 01:43:24,400 --> 01:43:27,319 "Look, man, can we... Come here. 1487 01:43:27,320 --> 01:43:30,399 Can we sit down and talk about this like businessmen? 1488 01:43:30,400 --> 01:43:33,719 A negotiation, okay? Look, I don't want to haggle. 1489 01:43:33,720 --> 01:43:36,239 You'll find me a reasonable man, man. 1490 01:43:36,240 --> 01:43:39,399 The blonde on East 63rd Street I see on Tuesday nights? 1491 01:43:39,400 --> 01:43:42,039 Right? Gone. Finished. I'll never see her again. 1492 01:43:42,040 --> 01:43:44,039 That's it. 1493 01:43:44,040 --> 01:43:46,239 All right, no more hard drugs. 1494 01:43:46,240 --> 01:43:49,839 A little grass, maybe, but that's it. Okay? 1495 01:43:49,840 --> 01:43:53,279 I promise I won't flash on subways anymore, okay? 1496 01:43:53,280 --> 01:43:56,927 We got a deal? Huh? Huh? Huh?" Guy drives a hard bargain. 1497 01:43:58,560 --> 01:44:02,039 What are you staring at? I told you guys before... 1498 01:44:02,040 --> 01:44:04,119 too much smoking, too much boozing, 1499 01:44:04,120 --> 01:44:07,439 too much screwing around, it'll get you every time. 1500 01:44:10,640 --> 01:44:12,079 I'll be back. 1501 01:44:12,080 --> 01:44:14,759 Well, goddamn it, find him! 1502 01:44:14,760 --> 01:44:18,919 I want him back in ICU, and right now! Damn fools! 1503 01:44:18,920 --> 01:44:20,599 Depression. 1504 01:44:20,600 --> 01:44:24,919 And here he is, ladies and germs, tops in taps... 1505 01:44:24,920 --> 01:44:28,919 - Oh, my God! - tap dancer extraordinaire. 1506 01:44:28,920 --> 01:44:31,399 - If I were God... - "I'm dying! 1507 01:44:31,400 --> 01:44:35,079 - And sometimes I think I am... - Oh, God, am I dying! 1508 01:44:35,080 --> 01:44:40,119 - Depends on how much morphine I've had... - I'm dying! Nobody's dying but me! 1509 01:44:40,120 --> 01:44:44,839 - I would spare this terrific tap dancer! - The doctor's not dying. 1510 01:44:44,840 --> 01:44:47,964 He's alive in Florida, and I'm dying!" 1511 01:44:49,040 --> 01:44:53,131 No pennies on the eyes for me. 1512 01:44:54,520 --> 01:44:55,999 Please. 1513 01:44:56,000 --> 01:44:58,719 Right away, sir. Bye. 1514 01:45:01,120 --> 01:45:03,559 Come on, we better try to find this guy. 1515 01:45:03,560 --> 01:45:06,319 "Oh, God! 1516 01:45:06,320 --> 01:45:09,359 I'm dying! 1517 01:45:09,360 --> 01:45:13,610 I'm paying $240 a day for the hospital room! 1518 01:45:14,600 --> 01:45:17,159 At those prices, man, who can afford to live?" 1519 01:45:17,160 --> 01:45:19,522 So... 1520 01:45:20,960 --> 01:45:23,128 acceptance. 1521 01:45:24,480 --> 01:45:27,684 Oh, God! 1522 01:45:41,000 --> 01:45:44,966 I think you're the most beautiful thing in the world. 1523 01:45:48,200 --> 01:45:50,323 And I love you. 1524 01:46:32,120 --> 01:46:34,719 Just a cut on the head. 1525 01:46:34,720 --> 01:46:37,919 Man, I won't have any trouble at all keeping him here. 1526 01:46:37,920 --> 01:46:41,279 He just wants to sit around and sing old-time songs. 1527 01:46:41,280 --> 01:46:45,280 Don't hurry, baby. I'm having a pretty good time myself. 1528 01:46:46,520 --> 01:46:48,879 Now, Mr. Gideon, where were we? 1529 01:46:48,880 --> 01:46:50,799 How did you know my name? 1530 01:46:50,800 --> 01:46:54,559 Eh, just found out. They're coming to get you, you know. 1531 01:46:54,560 --> 01:46:57,559 I knew they would. Can I have another? 1532 01:46:57,560 --> 01:46:59,922 Oh, help yourself. 1533 01:47:02,320 --> 01:47:06,239 Could you do it one more time? Just for me? 1534 01:47:06,240 --> 01:47:09,119 Oh, yeah, I'd love to. 1535 01:47:09,120 --> 01:47:11,559 Five, six, seven, eight. 1536 01:47:11,560 --> 01:47:15,359 ♪ Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag ♪ 1537 01:47:15,360 --> 01:47:18,599 ♪ And smile, smile, smile ♪ 1538 01:47:18,600 --> 01:47:20,239 Hey! 1539 01:47:20,240 --> 01:47:24,319 ♪ Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag ♪ 1540 01:47:24,320 --> 01:47:27,119 ♪ Smile, boys, that's the style ♪ 1541 01:47:27,120 --> 01:47:28,759 Here we go. 1542 01:47:28,760 --> 01:47:32,359 ♪ What's the use of worrying ♪ 1543 01:47:32,360 --> 01:47:36,121 ♪ It never was worthwhile ♪ 1544 01:47:38,520 --> 01:47:40,484 Juicy! 1545 01:47:41,720 --> 01:47:44,919 ♪ So pack up your troubles ♪♪ 1546 01:48:00,160 --> 01:48:04,159 - You got it. - Five, six, seven, eight. 1547 01:48:04,160 --> 01:48:07,959 ♪ Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag ♪ 1548 01:48:07,960 --> 01:48:11,639 ♪ And smile, smile, smile ♪ 1549 01:48:11,640 --> 01:48:15,839 - Okay, mister, you come along with us. - Nice and quiet, now. 1550 01:48:15,840 --> 01:48:19,159 - Please, don't cause no trouble. - Everything's going to be fine, all right? 1551 01:48:19,160 --> 01:48:21,319 All right. So long, Tiger. 1552 01:48:21,320 --> 01:48:23,399 Later, Gideon. 1553 01:48:23,400 --> 01:48:26,319 This is just a rough cut, you know. 1554 01:48:26,320 --> 01:48:28,799 I don't have the titles in yet... 1555 01:48:28,800 --> 01:48:31,559 and the underscoring's not in. 1556 01:48:31,560 --> 01:48:34,161 It's not really finished. 1557 01:49:27,000 --> 01:49:30,719 Thank you, thank you. Wonderful, wonderful. 1558 01:49:30,720 --> 01:49:34,519 Folks, what can I tell you about my next guest? 1559 01:49:34,520 --> 01:49:36,599 This cat allowed himself... 1560 01:49:36,600 --> 01:49:39,039 to be adored but not loved... 1561 01:49:39,040 --> 01:49:41,599 and his success in show business was matched... 1562 01:49:41,600 --> 01:49:44,039 by failure in his personal-relationship bag. 1563 01:49:44,040 --> 01:49:46,159 That's where he really bombed. 1564 01:49:46,160 --> 01:49:49,399 And he came to believe that work, show business... 1565 01:49:49,400 --> 01:49:51,839 love, his whole life, even himself... 1566 01:49:51,840 --> 01:49:54,039 and all that jazz was bullshit. 1567 01:49:54,040 --> 01:49:56,519 He became numero uno game player... 1568 01:49:56,520 --> 01:49:58,919 to the point where he didn't know... 1569 01:49:58,920 --> 01:50:01,999 where the games ended and the reality began. 1570 01:50:02,000 --> 01:50:04,519 Like, to this cat, the only reality... 1571 01:50:04,520 --> 01:50:06,559 is death, man. 1572 01:50:06,560 --> 01:50:09,719 Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay on you... 1573 01:50:09,720 --> 01:50:12,879 a so-so entertainer, not much of a humanitarian... 1574 01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:15,439 and this cat was never nobody's friend. 1575 01:50:15,440 --> 01:50:18,519 In his final appearance on the great stage of life... 1576 01:50:18,520 --> 01:50:21,639 You can applaud if you wanna... Mr. Joe Gideon. 1577 01:51:25,880 --> 01:51:29,721 ♪ Bye-bye, life ♪ 1578 01:51:33,840 --> 01:51:37,647 ♪ Bye-bye, happiness ♪ 1579 01:51:42,120 --> 01:51:47,247 ♪ Hello, loneliness ♪ 1580 01:51:48,360 --> 01:51:54,159 ♪ I think I'm gonna die ♪ 1581 01:51:55,800 --> 01:52:01,769 ♪ I think I'm gonna die ♪ 1582 01:52:13,160 --> 01:52:15,719 ♪ Bye-bye, love ♪ 1583 01:52:15,720 --> 01:52:17,999 ♪ Bye-bye, sweet caress ♪ 1584 01:52:18,000 --> 01:52:19,839 ♪ Hello, emptiness ♪ 1585 01:52:19,840 --> 01:52:21,519 ♪ I feel like I could die ♪ 1586 01:52:21,520 --> 01:52:23,919 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1587 01:52:23,920 --> 01:52:27,279 - ♪ Bye-bye, my life, good-bye ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1588 01:52:27,280 --> 01:52:30,768 Two, three, four, five, six. 1589 01:52:41,480 --> 01:52:43,879 ♪ Bye-bye, life ♪ 1590 01:52:43,880 --> 01:52:46,519 ♪ Bye-bye, happiness ♪ 1591 01:52:46,520 --> 01:52:49,519 - ♪ Hello, loneliness ♪ - ♪ I think I'm gonna die ♪ 1592 01:52:49,520 --> 01:52:53,959 ♪ I think he's gonna die ♪ 1593 01:52:53,960 --> 01:52:57,439 ♪ I think I'm gonna ♪ 1594 01:52:57,440 --> 01:53:00,041 ♪ Die ♪ 1595 01:53:08,080 --> 01:53:12,799 ♪ There goes his baby ♪ 1596 01:53:12,800 --> 01:53:16,561 ♪ With someone new ♪ 1597 01:53:21,040 --> 01:53:24,439 ♪ She sure looks happy ♪ 1598 01:53:24,440 --> 01:53:32,640 - ♪ I sure am blue ♪ - ♪ He sure is blue ♪ 1599 01:53:33,480 --> 01:53:36,001 ♪ I sure am blue ♪ 1600 01:53:50,680 --> 01:53:55,679 ♪ I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna ♪ 1601 01:53:55,680 --> 01:53:58,531 ♪ Bye-bye, life ♪ 1602 01:53:59,560 --> 01:54:04,199 - ♪ I think I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, happiness ♪ 1603 01:54:04,200 --> 01:54:07,439 ♪ Hello, loneliness ♪ 1604 01:54:07,440 --> 01:54:10,679 - ♪ I think he's gonna ♪ - ♪ I think I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna ♪ 1605 01:54:10,680 --> 01:54:11,380 ♪ Die ♪ 1606 01:54:15,160 --> 01:54:17,279 A-one, a-two, three, four! 1607 01:54:27,280 --> 01:54:29,879 ♪ Bye-bye, love ♪ 1608 01:54:29,880 --> 01:54:33,239 ♪ Bye-bye, sweet caress Hello, emptiness ♪ 1609 01:54:33,240 --> 01:54:36,399 ♪ I feel like I could die Bye-bye, my life, good-bye ♪ 1610 01:54:36,400 --> 01:54:38,799 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1611 01:54:38,800 --> 01:54:42,243 - ♪ Bye-bye, my life, good-bye ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1612 01:54:43,200 --> 01:54:45,639 ♪ I'm through with romance ♪ 1613 01:54:45,640 --> 01:54:48,119 - ♪ I'm through with love ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 1614 01:54:48,120 --> 01:54:52,639 - ♪ I'm through with counting the stars above ♪ - ♪ Forget the stars ♪ 1615 01:54:52,640 --> 01:54:56,279 ♪ And here's the reason that he's so free ♪ 1616 01:54:56,280 --> 01:54:59,759 ♪ His lovin' baby ♪ 1617 01:54:59,760 --> 01:55:02,122 ♪ She's through with me ♪ 1618 01:55:24,680 --> 01:55:27,804 ♪ Bye-bye, life ♪ 1619 01:55:31,000 --> 01:55:35,285 ♪ Bye-bye, happiness ♪ 1620 01:55:39,040 --> 01:55:44,759 ♪ Hello, loneliness ♪ 1621 01:55:44,760 --> 01:55:47,964 ♪ I think he's gonna die ♪ 1622 01:55:49,160 --> 01:55:52,599 ♪ I think he's gonna die ♪ 1623 01:55:52,600 --> 01:55:55,239 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1624 01:55:55,240 --> 01:55:58,839 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1625 01:55:58,840 --> 01:56:00,879 ♪ Bye-bye, my life, good-bye ♪ 1626 01:56:00,880 --> 01:56:04,399 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1627 01:56:36,560 --> 01:56:39,286 This must have cost a fortune! 1628 01:57:22,440 --> 01:57:24,999 Oh! Give it to me! 1629 01:57:25,000 --> 01:57:27,362 Oh! Give it to me! 1630 01:57:28,440 --> 01:57:30,599 At least I won't have to lie to you anymore. 1631 01:57:30,600 --> 01:57:33,167 Oh! Give it to me! 1632 01:57:36,560 --> 01:57:39,240 Oh! Give it to me! 1633 01:57:43,960 --> 01:57:46,359 - ♪ Bye-bye, love ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, bye-bye ♪ 1634 01:57:46,360 --> 01:57:49,719 - ♪ Bye-bye, happiness ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, bye-bye ♪ 1635 01:57:49,720 --> 01:57:52,439 - ♪ Hello, hello ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, bye-bye ♪ 1636 01:57:52,440 --> 01:57:55,799 - ♪ He's gonna die ♪ - ♪ I think he's gonna die ♪ 1637 01:57:55,800 --> 01:57:59,039 - ♪ Bye-bye, bye-bye ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, love ♪ 1638 01:57:59,040 --> 01:58:01,279 - ♪ Bye-bye, bye-bye ♪ - ♪ Bye-bye, happiness ♪ 1639 01:58:01,280 --> 01:58:03,599 - ♪ Bye-bye, bye-bye ♪ - ♪ Hello, emptiness ♪ 1640 01:58:03,600 --> 01:58:06,279 ♪ I think he's gonna die ♪ 1641 01:58:06,280 --> 01:58:10,959 - ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ - Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1642 01:58:10,960 --> 01:58:16,439 - ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ - ♪ I think he's gonna die ♪ 1643 01:58:16,440 --> 01:58:19,559 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 1644 01:58:19,560 --> 01:58:21,759 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1645 01:58:21,760 --> 01:58:24,519 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 1646 01:58:24,520 --> 01:58:28,611 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 1647 01:58:30,600 --> 01:58:33,724 ♪ Bye-bye ♪ 1648 01:58:34,720 --> 01:58:38,439 - ♪ My life ♪ - Oh, yeah! 1649 01:58:38,440 --> 01:58:43,279 ♪ Good-bye ♪♪ 1650 01:59:52,520 --> 01:59:59,199 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪ 1651 01:59:59,200 --> 02:00:02,261 ♪ Bye-bye, your life, good-bye ♪♪ 1652 02:00:13,040 --> 02:00:17,199 ♪ There's no business like show business ♪ 1653 02:00:17,200 --> 02:00:21,159 ♪ Like no business I know ♪ 1654 02:00:21,160 --> 02:00:24,879 ♪ Everything about it is appealing ♪ 1655 02:00:24,880 --> 02:00:28,559 ♪ Everything the traffic will allow ♪ 1656 02:00:28,560 --> 02:00:31,839 ♪ Nowhere could you get that happy feeling ♪ 1657 02:00:31,840 --> 02:00:35,799 ♪ When you are stealing that extra bow ♪ 1658 02:00:35,800 --> 02:00:40,079 ♪ There's no people like show people ♪ 1659 02:00:40,080 --> 02:00:43,919 ♪ They smile when they are low ♪ 1660 02:00:43,920 --> 02:00:47,319 ♪ Yesterday they told you you would not go far ♪ 1661 02:00:47,320 --> 02:00:51,519 ♪ That night you open and there you are ♪ 1662 02:00:51,520 --> 02:00:55,079 ♪ Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star ♪ 1663 02:00:55,080 --> 02:01:01,719 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪ 1664 02:01:01,720 --> 02:01:05,919 ♪ The costumes, the scenery the makeup, the props ♪ 1665 02:01:05,920 --> 02:01:10,279 ♪ The audience that lifts you when you're down ♪ 1666 02:01:10,280 --> 02:01:14,679 ♪ The headaches, the heartaches the backaches, the flops ♪ 1667 02:01:14,680 --> 02:01:19,239 ♪ The sheriff who escorts you out of town ♪ 1668 02:01:19,240 --> 02:01:21,519 ♪ The opening when your heart beats ♪ 1669 02:01:21,520 --> 02:01:24,799 ♪ Like a drum ♪ 1670 02:01:24,800 --> 02:01:28,399 ♪ The closing when the customers ♪ 1671 02:01:28,400 --> 02:01:32,719 ♪ Don't come ♪ 1672 02:01:32,720 --> 02:01:36,439 ♪ There's no business like show business ♪ 1673 02:01:36,440 --> 02:01:40,719 ♪ Like no business I know ♪ 1674 02:01:40,720 --> 02:01:44,719 ♪ You get word before the show has started ♪ 1675 02:01:44,720 --> 02:01:48,319 ♪ That your favorite uncle died at dawn ♪ 1676 02:01:48,320 --> 02:01:51,799 ♪ On top of that your pa and ma have parted ♪ 1677 02:01:51,800 --> 02:01:55,919 ♪ You're brokenhearted but you go on ♪ 1678 02:01:55,920 --> 02:01:59,799 ♪ There's no people like show people ♪ 1679 02:01:59,800 --> 02:02:04,159 ♪ They smile when they are low ♪ 1680 02:02:04,160 --> 02:02:07,839 ♪ Even with a turkey that you know will fold ♪ 1681 02:02:07,840 --> 02:02:11,639 ♪ You may be stranded out in the cold ♪ 1682 02:02:11,640 --> 02:02:15,519 ♪ But still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold ♪ 1683 02:02:15,520 --> 02:02:20,679 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪ 1684 02:02:20,680 --> 02:02:23,759 ♪ Let's go ♪ 1685 02:02:23,760 --> 02:02:27,599 ♪ On with the ♪ 1686 02:02:27,600 --> 02:02:28,344 ♪ Show ♪♪