1 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,386 I'll knock your block off, you big stiff! You're a bum! 2 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,190 Strike! You're out! 3 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,174 Elmer, here it is. 4 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,219 -I knew you'd find it. -Boy, I could sure use a drink. 5 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,057 I wonder if any big shots are getting married today? 6 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,564 Looks like the same suckers get married every day. 7 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,607 Come on. 8 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,568 Hey, the guy with the cheaters. 9 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,075 Now what's he hiding from? 10 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:48,585 -Hey, isn't that Mortimer Brewster? -Mortimer Brewster, the dramatic critic? 11 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,798 No, it's not him. But what a scoop it'd be! 12 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,718 The guy who wrote The Bachelor's Bible finally getting hooked himself. 13 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,303 No, it's too good to be true. 14 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,889 Come on, let's snap the mayor in his new fire helmet and go home. 15 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,599 Say, let's stick around, see who the guy is. 16 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,102 Two-by-two they come and go, hip-hip-hiyay. 17 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,355 Good morning, children. Your name, please? 18 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,232 - Elaine Harper. - Speak a little louder. 19 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,983 Elaine Harper. 20 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,735 Er, thank you. Yours? 21 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,281 - Mortimer Brewster. - How's that? 22 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,785 Mortimer Brewster. 23 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,120 Speak up, sonny. There's nothing to be afraid of. 24 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,288 No, no, no. Just... 25 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:28,959 Look, I... 26 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,963 Look, I want to keep this undercover. 27 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,132 Love her? Of course you love her. You're gonna marry her, ain't ya? 28 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,134 No, you don't understand. Come here. Come here. 29 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,428 You see, I don't want this to get out for a while. 30 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,138 I'm Mortimer Brewster. 31 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:43,849 Uh, you're who? 32 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,642 Mortimer Brew... 33 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,022 That's him! 34 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:53,358 Now, Mr. Brewster! 35 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:58,822 Mr. Brewster! 36 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,909 Now, look, don't you... 37 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:04,870 Goodbye, dear. 38 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,627 Don't you understand? How can I marry you? 39 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,462 Me, the symbol of bachelorhood! 40 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,464 I've sneered at every love scene and every play. 41 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,425 I've written four million words against marriage! 42 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,468 Not only hooked, but to a minister's daughter, 43 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,804 and not only a minister's daughter, but a girl from Brooklyn. 44 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,472 Now look at you. Look at the way you look! 45 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,725 What is that infernal contraption you've got there? 46 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,560 Well, that's a pin I borrowed from your aunt's. 47 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,021 You know what they say, Mortimer, something borrowed and something... 48 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,190 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed and something blue. 49 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,316 Old, new. 50 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,276 Rice and old shoes. Carry you over the threshold. 51 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,486 Niagara Falls. All that silly tripe I've made fun of for years. 52 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,654 Is this what I've come to? 53 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,781 I can't go through with it. I won't marry you and that's that. 54 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,535 -Yes, Mortimer. -What do you mean, Yes, Mortimer? 55 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,995 Aren't you insulted? Aren't you going to cry? 56 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,288 Aren't you going to make a scene? 57 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,999 -No, Mortimer. -No. And don't, No, Mortimer me, either! 58 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,501 Don't you see, marriage is a superstition! 59 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:56,046 It's... It's old-fashioned. It's... I... I... 60 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,797 Oh. 61 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:04,888 Come. 62 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,301 O'Hara, don't be a jerk. You don't seem to realize 63 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:46,471 I'm turning over to you the nicest, best beat in Brooklyn. 64 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,558 Now look at that old church. And them old houses. 65 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,394 Did George Washington ever do any sleeping around here? 66 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:56,481 Of course he did. Why, this whole neighborhood just stinks with atmosphere. 67 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,860 -And look at that old house there. -The original owners still living there? 68 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,487 Now, don't crack wise about the Brewster sisters. 69 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:06,575 They're two of the dearest, sweetest old ladies that ever walked the Earth. 70 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:09,077 They're out of this world. 71 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,706 They're like, uh... They're like pressed rose leaves. 72 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,082 Pressed rose leaves? 73 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,586 Hey, the old girls must be kind of hard up, huh? 74 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,881 Oh, no. Their old man left them fixed for life. 75 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,841 And don't you call them the girls, either. 76 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,718 Brophy, is Lieutenant around? 77 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,678 If they're so well-heeled, what are they renting rooms for? 78 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:30,265 They don't rent rooms. But you can bet if anybody came around looking for a room, 79 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,641 they wouldn't go away without a good meal 80 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,310 and probably a couple of bucks in their pocket. 81 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,439 That's just their way of digging up people to do good to. 82 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,742 Oh, Reverend Harper, I do hope you don't disapprove of Mortimer 83 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,660 just because he's a dramatic critic 84 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,496 and takes your daughter to the theater every night. 85 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,957 Well, it's not so much that I disapprove of his being a critic 86 00:06:56,625 --> 00:07:00,795 but no man, no man with this published attitude on marriage 87 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:05,133 should take any man's daughter anyplace... At any time. 88 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,596 I must be catching cold. 89 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,641 No, dear. It was Reverend Harper who sneezed. Bless you. 90 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,394 We mustn't be angry with Mortimer. 91 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,979 He's so very much in love with her. 92 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,815 And Sister Martha and I are so happy about it. 93 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:24,194 He used to come to see us only occasionally, and now, 94 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,446 now he's in Brooklyn six nights a week! 95 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,617 Remember now, watch your language. 96 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,369 Well, Sergeant, you know I'm not a swearing man. 97 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,538 You'd be surprised what they'd consider swearing. 98 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,084 Oh, will you excuse me? 99 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,670 No, no, Teddy, dear. Thank you. I'll go. 100 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:47,717 -Oh! Come right in, Mr. Brophy. -Miss Abby, we came for the toys. 101 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,511 -Oh, yes. -Now, this is Officer O'Hara. 102 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,054 He's taking over my beat. 103 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,514 - How do you do, miss? - Well, welcome 104 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,224 - to our neighborhood, Mr. O'Hara. - Thank you. 105 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,685 Gentlemen, what news have you brought me? 106 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,186 Colonel, we have nothing to report. 107 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,692 Oh, no, absolutely nothing to report. 108 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,361 Splendid! 109 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,530 Thank you, gentlemen. At ease. 110 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,951 Er, you know the Reverend Dr. Harper from the church next door? 111 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,411 -No. -Sure. Hello, Reverend. 112 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,705 Uh, this is Officer O'Hara, the new man on the beat. 113 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,415 How do you do, sir? It's nice to meet you. 114 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,381 Uh, the toys are on the chair up here, by the library door. 115 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,720 Oh. Uh, Teddy, will you run upstairs 116 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,681 and bring down your army and navy from Aunt Martha's room. 117 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:35,974 They're all packed. 118 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:42,647 That's splendid work you men do, fixing up discarded toys for the kids at camp. 119 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,024 Charge! 120 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,368 Oh, it gives us something to do while we're sitting around at the station. 121 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,828 You get tired of playing cards. 122 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:07,422 -Oh, so these are the toys? -How's Mrs. Brophy? 123 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,258 Oh, she's better, thank you. But a little weak, still. 124 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,928 Well, I'm going to get some beef broth for you to take to her. 125 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,764 Oh, Miss Abby, please don't bother. You've done so much already. 126 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,766 Oh, stop the nonsense! I won't be a minute. 127 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:28,735 Gentlemen, if I know what pure kindness and absolute generosity are 128 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,779 it's because I've known the Brewster sisters. 129 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,371 Now, Teddy, you promised me you wouldn't do that anymore. 130 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,541 But I have to call a cabinet meeting to get the release of those supplies. 131 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,793 Now don't do that again. Do you hear me? 132 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,966 He used to do that in the middle of the night 133 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,927 and the neighbors raised Cain with me. They're a little afraid of him anyway. 134 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,555 Look, Sergeant, I promised you I wouldn't swear, but what the heck... 135 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,015 What's going on here anyway? 136 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,601 -Oh, he's quite harmless. -He thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt. 137 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,895 So what? There's a lot of worse guys he could think he was. 138 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:04,938 Yeah? 139 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,025 That's right. 140 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,361 I'll make a note of that. He's a very interesting character. 141 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,697 Isn't it a shame, Father... 142 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,823 Isn't it a shame, Reverend, 143 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,325 that a nice family like this should be hatching a cuckoo? 144 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,872 Oh! Well, now, isn't this nice! 145 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,833 -Good afternoon, Miss Brewster. -How do you do, Mr. Brophy? 146 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,544 -Good afternoon, Miss Brewster. -Reverend Harper, how do you do? 147 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,630 Miss Martha, this is Officer O'Hara. He's taking over my duties. 148 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,756 How do you do, ma'am? 149 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,508 - Well, I'm very glad to know you! - Thank you. 150 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,095 - Oh! - Martha, you're back. 151 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:40,307 Here's the broth for Mrs. Brophy. Be sure it's good and hot. 152 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,225 You bet I will, and thank you very much. 153 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,853 The army and navy are ready for action. 154 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:48,398 Oh, Colonel, this is grand. It'll make a lot of kids happy. 155 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,358 What's this? The Oregon? 156 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,110 Oh, Teddy, dear, put it back. 157 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,447 - But the Oregon goes to Australia. - Now, Teddy... 158 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,616 No, it goes to Australia. 159 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,327 - These are lovely. Thank you very much. - Oh, not at all. 160 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,874 -The children will be going crazy. -Ah, now, don't mention it. 161 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,042 Well, so long, Colonel. 162 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:09,878 Hey, Sarge. 163 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,546 Huh? Oh, yes. 164 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,591 Dismissed! 165 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,719 - Well, goodbye and thank you. - Goodbye! 166 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:18,887 - Don't mention it. - Bye. 167 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,305 Careful of the step there now with the toys. 168 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,473 Good night. 169 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,188 Young man, let that be a lesson to you. 170 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,818 Goodbye! 171 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,447 Well... 172 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,242 - Well, I must be going. - Charge! 173 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,787 Charge the blockhouse! 174 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:51,962 Blockhouse? 175 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,173 Oh, the stairs are always San Juan Hill. 176 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,884 - Oh... I see. - Bless you! 177 00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,262 Have you tried to persuade him he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt? 178 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:04,015 -Oh, no! -Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt. 179 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,017 Oh, do you remember, Martha? 180 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:10,188 Once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington 181 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,275 it might be a change for him, and we suggested it. 182 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,277 And do you know what happened? 183 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,196 He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody. 184 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:23,243 Well, if he's happy, and what's more important, you're happy... 185 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:26,371 Oh, our only worry for Teddy is after we're gone. 186 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,790 Yes, indeed. That is quite a problem. 187 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,334 But Mortimer's made all the arrangements for Teddy 188 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,963 to go to Happy Dale Sanitarium after we pass on. 189 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,549 -Splendid idea! A very pleasant place. -Yes. 190 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:43,555 Dear, sweet Reverend Harper. 191 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:50,312 You know, Martha, I really do believe he's beginning to see the light. 192 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,022 I'm sure we needn't worry about him. 193 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,774 He won't interfere with our plans for Mortimer and Elaine. 194 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:59,321 -Oh, did you just have tea? -Yes. 195 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,533 And dinner's going to be late, too. 196 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,202 So, why? 197 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,329 Teddy! 198 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,333 Oh, Teddy, good news for you. 199 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,377 You're going to Panama and dig another lock for the canal. 200 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,631 Delighted! 201 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:20,008 That's bully! Just bully! 202 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,760 I shall prepare at once for the journey. 203 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,348 Charge! 204 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,356 Abby! While I was out? 205 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,025 Yes, dear. I just couldn't wait for you. 206 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:40,111 I didn't know when you'd be back, and Reverend Harper was coming. 207 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:43,615 -Oh, but all by yourself. -Oh, I got along fine. 208 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:46,368 -I'll run right downstairs and see. -No, no, dear. 209 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,371 There wasn't time. And I was all alone. 210 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,626 - Well? - Martha... 211 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:59,881 Just look in the window seat. 212 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,979 -Oh, it's Elaine! -Hello, darlings! 213 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,192 -But, Elaine! -What did she mean? 214 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,403 -You don't suppose they've gone and... -Oh. 215 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,612 Elaine! 216 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,032 Oh, let's go. 217 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,450 -Listen, buddy. -What? 218 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,744 This old cab has seen osculation, but... 219 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,912 You ain't seen anything yet. 220 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,415 -You're going to drive us to the station. -You better take her hat. 221 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,375 -Oh, thanks. -Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 222 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,501 And her brooch. 223 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,627 Oh, if you find her hairpins, you can keep 'em. 224 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,837 -Hold on to that, will you? -Yeah. 225 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,634 There they are. 226 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,595 Here's your hat. 227 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,265 Just throw it. I don't like that look in your eyes. 228 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,600 Why, what's the matter with it? 229 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:54,269 Father preached a sermon about it only last Sunday. 230 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,771 He did? He did. What did he say? What did he say? 231 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,357 -He was against it. -Oh, but that was only Sunday. 232 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,447 Please! For heaven's sake. 233 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,241 But Mortimer, right out here in the open, with everyone looking? 234 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:10,869 Yes, right out here in the open, with everyone looking. Mmm-hmm. 235 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,455 Let everyone in Brooklyn over 16 look. Mmm! 236 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:26,468 But Mortimer, you're going to love me for my mind, too? 237 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,053 One thing at a time. 238 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,471 Oh, there's that look again! 239 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,477 There's that look again, Mortimer! You better get used to that look. 240 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,521 You're gonna see it often. It goes just before this. Mmm. 241 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,359 Oh, you know what we're doing, darling? We're wasting time. 242 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,486 Look, I'll go tell my aunts and you tell your old... 243 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,112 No, you better not tell your father just yet. 244 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,906 You'll run that cold of his into a pneumonia. 245 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,408 Oh, I can handle Father. He's a dear. 246 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:53,620 Look, uh, why don't we wire him from Niagara Falls? 247 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,580 Niagara Falls? 248 00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,916 So that's why you stopped at your office. 249 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,502 Yes, certainly! We're going to go the whole hog. 250 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,296 Niagara Falls! Everybody ought to go to Niagara Falls. 251 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,924 You should've seen my secretary's face when I made the reservation. 252 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,510 We've a drawing room on the train, the bridal suite in the hotel, 253 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,762 and tomorrow morning we go over the falls in a barrel. 254 00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:12,013 Oh, Mortimer! 255 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,808 Go on, darling, hurry and pack. 256 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,310 I don't have to. I started packing the day after I met you. 257 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,354 Uh-uh-uh. There, you see. You see? 258 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,731 Uh-huh, that's what I mean. That's what I hate about women. 259 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,196 I wonder what Mary's doing now? 260 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,661 Go on, darling, the train leaves in an hour, and hurry. 261 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,538 It'll be a few minutes before I'm ready. 262 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,541 -Father may want to pray over me a little. -All right. Whistle when you're ready. 263 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,750 -Oh, Elaine? -Yeah. 264 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,544 And when you whistle, open the front door fast. 265 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,963 If you see a tall, dark streak of light going shh, it's me. 266 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,013 What? Now? 267 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,139 No, not now! 268 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,559 Look surprised when he tells us. 269 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,561 Aunt Abby! Aunt Martha! 270 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,771 Now hold on to your bustles. 271 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,648 We're married. Elaine and I are married. 272 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:06,276 Oh, darling, how wonderful! 273 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,570 Oh, Martha, isn't it wonderful? They're married! 274 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,489 Yeah, don't pretend to be so surprised either, you two old frauds. 275 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,118 -Can I use the telephone, darling? -Yes, of course. 276 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,579 Oh, isn't it too, too wonderful? 277 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,749 And to think that it happened right here in this room! 278 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,584 Oh, now, here, here, here, now. 279 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,712 Hello? Hello, Benson's Florists? This is Mortimer Brewster. 280 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,839 Did you send those roses to Mrs. Brewster at the parsonage? 281 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,049 You did? Good. 282 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,134 Now send four dozen more to drawing room A, Canadian Limited, 283 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,344 Grand Central Station. 284 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,679 Yes, now, and hurry them. Oh, and throw in a flock of orange blossoms. 285 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:38,016 Oh! But before you go, we can have our celebration. 286 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,477 I'll open a bottle of wine and we'll sing. 287 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,312 And we'll invite a few of the neighbors in. 288 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,189 And, of course, a wedding cake! 289 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,399 Oh, darling, you won't have time to bake a cake. 290 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,276 We're going to Niagara Falls. I've got a taxi waiting. 291 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,529 Oh, but, it's all ready. It's been ready since... 292 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,572 Yes, I bet it's been ready since the first day I met Elaine. 293 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,451 What is this? Did everybody in Brooklyn know I was gonna get married except me? 294 00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:58,870 Oh, we knew you'd find out about it in time. 295 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,206 Come here. 296 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:03,291 I've got the two nicest aunts in the world. 297 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,168 Of course, you've got the nicest nephew in the world, too. 298 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,211 Oh. 299 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,172 Well, I'll run along and get everything ready. 300 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,968 Oh, dear. I do hope the Reverend isn't too angry. 301 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,886 You know how your books upset him. 302 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,555 Well, I'm going to burn all my books. 303 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,265 I'm gonna let the Reverend Harper light the first match. 304 00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,474 -Oh. -Oh. Mmm. 305 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,643 By the way, did I leave some notes here for my new book? 306 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,645 You mean Mind Over Matrimony? 307 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,272 Yeah, shh. Where are they? 308 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,691 -Well, I hid them someplace... -Come along. Come along. 309 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,817 Now you behave. 310 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,944 Let's find them before Elaine sees them. 311 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:38,952 Hello, Mortimer. 312 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:43,331 -How are you, Mr. President? -Bully, thank you. Just bully. 313 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:44,958 What news have you brought me? 314 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,335 Just this, Mr. President, the country's squarely behind you. 315 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,379 Yes, I know. Isn't it wonderful? 316 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,799 Well, goodbye. I'm off to Panama. 317 00:18:52,883 --> 00:18:54,050 Goodbye, Mr. President. 318 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,553 A new lock for the canal, you know. 319 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,347 Oh, tell the news to Mother 320 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,058 Oh, dear. 321 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,894 Did you find those notes? What's the matter? 322 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,937 There's a baby picture of your brother Jonathan. 323 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,526 You ought to put that in the fire with my books. My, my, what a face! 324 00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:14,571 I remember now. He used to scare grownups with it. 325 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,698 Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me. 326 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:20,535 Do you remember how he used to cut worms in two with his teeth? 327 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,248 Jonathan? Oh, he's probably in prison or hanged or something by now. 328 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,336 I saw a play last week, had a character in it reminded me of Jonathan. 329 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,004 -No, really? -Yeah. 330 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:35,258 Oh, a honey of a lunatic. One of those whodunits called Murder Will Out. 331 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,093 -Oh, dear! -Yeah, what a play. 332 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,349 When the curtain goes up, the first thing you see is a dead body. 333 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,726 The next thing is... 334 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,948 Hey, mister. 335 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:33,400 -Happy bridegroom! -Congratulations, darling! 336 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,277 No, here... Now. 337 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,028 Never mind that now, Aunt Abby. 338 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,030 Now, listen, darlings. 339 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,700 Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha, 340 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:45,245 you know how we've always planned to send Teddy to that sanitarium, Happy Dale? 341 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,914 -Oh, yes, dear. That's after we're gone. -Yes, very well. 342 00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:50,542 Yes, we talked with Reverend Harper about it. 343 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,880 No, no, Teddy's got to go to Happy Dale now. At once! 344 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:56,631 Now he's gone in the cellar, get him up here right away. 345 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,675 Well, there's no such hurry as that. 346 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:03,805 No, when Teddy's working on the canal, you can't get his mind on anything else. 347 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:05,182 Well, look, darlings... 348 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,727 Look, I'm frightfully sorry, but I've got an awful shock for you. 349 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,062 Teddy's killed a man, darlings! 350 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,773 Oh. Nonsense. 351 00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,650 But there's a body in the window seat! 352 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,403 Yes, dear. We know. 353 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,700 -You know? -Of course! 354 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,411 Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy. 355 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:30,207 Now, Mortimer. You just forget about it. 356 00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,209 Forget you ever saw the gentleman. 357 00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:34,127 Forget? 358 00:21:34,211 --> 00:21:36,421 We never dreamed you'd peek. 359 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,882 What the... 360 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,884 Who... Who is he? 361 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:44,221 He's a Mr. Hoskins. Adam Hoskins. 362 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:47,724 That's really all I know about him, except that he's a Methodist. 363 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,810 Oh, he's a Methodist? Oh, isn't that nice. 364 00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:53,230 That's all you know? Well, what's he doing here? 365 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,023 -What happened to him? -He died. 366 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:59,236 Yeah... Look, Aunt Martha, men just don't get into window seats and die! 367 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:02,239 We know, dear. He died first. 368 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:04,366 Yeah... Hold... Wait a minute. Stop all this. 369 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:07,327 Now look, darling, how did he die? 370 00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:10,747 Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. 371 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:15,293 The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it. 372 00:22:17,546 --> 00:22:19,506 Well, how did the poison get in the wine? 373 00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:22,509 Well, we put it in wine because it's less noticeable. 374 00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:25,095 When it's in tea, it has a distinct odor. 375 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,806 You mean you... 376 00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:30,350 You put it in the wine? 377 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:33,770 Yes. And I put Mr. Hoskins in the window seat 378 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:36,022 because Reverend Harper was coming. 379 00:22:36,857 --> 00:22:37,858 Oh! 380 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,777 Oh, look at me, darling. 381 00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:44,281 You mean, you knew what you'd done 382 00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,408 and you didn't want the Reverend Harper to see the body? 383 00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:50,287 Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice. 384 00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:54,374 Oh. It's first-degree! 385 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:58,295 Now, Mortimer, you know all about it and just forget about it. 386 00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:02,716 I do think that Martha and I have the right to our own little secrets. 387 00:23:05,635 --> 00:23:09,848 Oh, Abby, while I was out I dropped in on Mrs. Schultz. She's much better. 388 00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:12,309 But she would like us to take Junior to the movies again. 389 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:14,644 Well, we must do that, tomorrow or next day. 390 00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:17,981 Yes, but this time we'll go where we want to go. 391 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:22,319 Junior's not going to drag me into another one of those scary pictures. 392 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:26,573 No, they ought not to be allowed to make such pictures just to frighten people. 393 00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:39,336 Hang on a second. 394 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:48,512 Operator? 395 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,472 Can you hear my voice? 396 00:23:51,515 --> 00:23:52,849 You can? 397 00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:54,142 Are you sure? 398 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,686 Then I must be here. 399 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,109 Oh. 400 00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:08,990 Is it... Here. 401 00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:13,370 Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha. Uh... 402 00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:27,884 Oh, the dears. Isn't Halloween a wonderful time for them? 403 00:24:27,968 --> 00:24:30,428 Yes, it is. They have so much fun. 404 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:34,474 Now, Mortimer, don't be so impatient. 405 00:24:34,558 --> 00:24:37,060 -We'll let you lick the bowl up after. -Lick the bowl? 406 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:39,688 I don't want to lick the bowl! I want to know what we're going to do! 407 00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:41,481 Well, we're going to celebrate, dear. 408 00:24:41,565 --> 00:24:44,401 Celebrate? Look, Aunt Martha, there's a body in the window seat! 409 00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:46,653 Yes, dear. Mr. Hoskins. 410 00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:49,948 Oh, I know what his name is. I just want to know what we're going to do. 411 00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:51,533 Can't turn you over to the police. 412 00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:53,451 Well, for pity's sake, stop worrying about it. 413 00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,620 We told you to forget about the whole thing. 414 00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:57,873 Forget? Look, my dear aunt Martha, 415 00:24:57,956 --> 00:25:00,208 can't I make you realize that something has to be done? 416 00:25:00,292 --> 00:25:02,168 Oh, now, Mortimer, you behave. 417 00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:05,005 You're too old to be flying off the handle like this. 418 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:08,425 -But... But Mr. Hodgekiss... -Hoskins, dear. 419 00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:11,011 Well, whatever his name is, he's dead and you can't leave him in there! 420 00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:12,637 Well, we don't intend to, dear. 421 00:25:12,721 --> 00:25:15,932 No, Teddy's down in the cellar now, digging the lock. 422 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:17,851 Teddy... 423 00:25:20,478 --> 00:25:24,149 Oh. You mean, you're going to bury Mr. Hodgekiss in the cellar? 424 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:27,194 Oh, yes, dear. That's what we did with the others. 425 00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:28,320 The... 426 00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:29,487 Look, here, Aunt Martha. You can't... 427 00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:33,825 - Others? - The other gentlemen. 428 00:25:33,909 --> 00:25:34,951 Oh! 429 00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,872 When you say others, do you mean others? 430 00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,625 - More than one others? - Oh, yes, dear. 431 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:44,753 Let me see now. This is 11, isn't it, Abby? 432 00:25:44,836 --> 00:25:47,005 Oh, no, dear. This makes 12. 433 00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:51,468 Oh, Abby, dear, I think you're wrong. This one is only 11. 434 00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:55,138 No, dear, because I remember when Mr. Hoskins first came in 435 00:25:55,222 --> 00:25:57,974 it occurred to me that he'd make just an even dozen. 436 00:25:59,893 --> 00:26:04,397 But, Abby, dear, I really don't think you should count the first one. 437 00:26:04,481 --> 00:26:07,484 Oh, I was counting the first one, and that makes it 12. 438 00:26:07,943 --> 00:26:09,194 It does? 439 00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:13,949 Well, she's probably right. Abby usually is. 440 00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:15,951 I get them mixed up sometimes. 441 00:26:16,451 --> 00:26:18,954 Makes it 12.12. 442 00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:26,169 Hello? 443 00:26:26,253 --> 00:26:27,212 Oh. 444 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,842 Well! Whatever is the matter with Mortimer today? 445 00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:34,219 Why, Abby, what do you think happened to him? 446 00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:36,263 Hello? 447 00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:42,018 Oh. 448 00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:45,230 Not now. Not now. For heaven's sake, keep your shirt on! 449 00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:49,526 Oh, isn't that... Oh, Elaine, I didn't mean... I... 450 00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:54,531 Now, now, let's see. Where were we? 451 00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,491 Twelve. 12! 452 00:26:56,950 --> 00:26:58,326 -Yes, dear. -Oh, there you are. 453 00:26:58,410 --> 00:27:01,037 Abby thinks that we should count the first one. 454 00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:03,415 Never mind about that. Now just sit down. 455 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:05,500 Now tell me, who was the first one? 456 00:27:05,917 --> 00:27:08,461 Mr. Midgely. He was a Baptist. 457 00:27:08,545 --> 00:27:11,548 He was such a lonely, old gentleman, Mr. Midgely was. 458 00:27:11,631 --> 00:27:13,550 All his kith and kin were dead. 459 00:27:13,633 --> 00:27:15,802 We felt so sorry for him. 460 00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:19,306 And then, when his heart attack came, 461 00:27:19,389 --> 00:27:22,767 and he sat there dead in that chair, 462 00:27:22,851 --> 00:27:26,563 looking so peaceful... Remember, Martha? 463 00:27:27,564 --> 00:27:30,066 We made up our minds, then and there, 464 00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:33,320 that if we could help other lonely old men 465 00:27:33,403 --> 00:27:35,572 to find that same peace, 466 00:27:35,655 --> 00:27:36,781 we would. 467 00:27:37,574 --> 00:27:39,659 Oh, why, you poor... 468 00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:41,828 You mean, he dropped dead right in this chair? 469 00:27:41,912 --> 00:27:42,913 Oh. 470 00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:48,710 And then, you see, Teddy came up from digging in Panama, 471 00:27:48,793 --> 00:27:52,464 and he thought Mr. Midgely was a yellow-fever victim! 472 00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:55,592 And that meant that he had to be buried immediately. 473 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:59,054 -So? -So, we all took him down to Panama 474 00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:03,517 and put him in the lock and gave him a decent Christian burial. 475 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,227 -Oh. -There. Now you see? 476 00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:07,771 That's why we told you not to bother about it, 477 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:10,690 because we know exactly what's to be done. 478 00:28:14,069 --> 00:28:15,612 Wait a minute! 479 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,615 Come here, darling. What about the others? 480 00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:21,326 All 12 of them just didn't walk in here and drop dead. 481 00:28:21,409 --> 00:28:22,994 Oh, no, dear. Of course not! 482 00:28:23,078 --> 00:28:24,496 Well, so, so, so? 483 00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:34,381 - Mortimer. - What? 484 00:28:34,464 --> 00:28:37,384 Do you remember those jars of poison that had been on the shelves 485 00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:39,928 in Grandfather's laboratory all these years? 486 00:28:40,011 --> 00:28:42,931 You know your Aunt Martha's knack for mixing things! 487 00:28:43,014 --> 00:28:45,183 You've eaten enough of her piccalilli. 488 00:28:45,934 --> 00:28:49,563 Well, dear, for a gallon of elderberry wine, 489 00:28:49,646 --> 00:28:52,190 I take one teaspoonful of arsenic, 490 00:28:52,274 --> 00:28:55,068 then add half a teaspoonful of strychnine, 491 00:28:55,151 --> 00:28:58,446 and then just a pinch of cyanide. 492 00:28:59,281 --> 00:29:01,575 Mmm, should have quite a kick. 493 00:29:02,701 --> 00:29:04,077 Yes! 494 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,581 As a matter of fact, one of our gentlemen found time to say, 495 00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:08,915 How delicious! 496 00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:10,876 He did? Well, wasn't that nice of him? 497 00:29:11,293 --> 00:29:14,254 Abby, we mustn't be standing here gossiping all night. 498 00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:16,339 Why, we must get that cake frosted. 499 00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:19,092 No, no, darling, don't worry about the cake. I couldn't eat a thing. 500 00:29:19,176 --> 00:29:23,430 Oh, you newlyweds! A sip of wine will give you an appetite. 501 00:29:23,513 --> 00:29:26,224 Yeah, that'd be nice, darling, a sip of... A sip of wine! 502 00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:28,518 Wine! Oh. 503 00:29:48,038 --> 00:29:50,123 I'm beginning to think the cat's in on this. 504 00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:55,754 Huh. Oh, he's wonderful. Happy as a lark. Singing away, digging locks. 505 00:29:57,005 --> 00:29:59,925 Got him working the yellow- fever victims. Oh, it's the end. 506 00:30:00,008 --> 00:30:01,927 Oh, I can see the headlines now. 507 00:30:02,010 --> 00:30:04,387 Murder Incorporated Rides Again, right across the front page. 508 00:30:05,388 --> 00:30:06,848 Let me see... 509 00:30:08,099 --> 00:30:11,144 Teddy! Of course. Everybody knows he's crazy. 510 00:30:11,228 --> 00:30:14,898 Let me see. Who can I call up? Dewey, La Guardia, Winchell? 511 00:30:14,981 --> 00:30:16,483 No, Winchell's no good. 512 00:30:17,025 --> 00:30:18,276 Old Judge Cullman! 513 00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:20,278 I wonder if I got his number. 514 00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:23,615 Tickets? What am I doing with tickets? 515 00:30:24,115 --> 00:30:25,075 Information. 516 00:30:30,372 --> 00:30:32,165 Hello? Information? 517 00:30:32,249 --> 00:30:35,752 Get me the number of Judge Cullman on North Shore Road, Brooklyn. 518 00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:37,170 Yeah, would he call me back? 519 00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,175 Oh, wouldn't it be marvelous if he wasn't there? 520 00:30:44,636 --> 00:30:45,929 Hey, you! 521 00:30:47,430 --> 00:30:50,308 I thought you were, pshh! Tall, dark streak of light. 522 00:30:50,392 --> 00:30:51,393 What are you doing here? 523 00:30:52,185 --> 00:30:54,813 What am I doing here? Didn't you hear me whistle? 524 00:30:55,188 --> 00:30:56,523 Whistle? Oh, yes. 525 00:30:56,606 --> 00:30:58,108 Yes, yes, I heard you whistle. 526 00:30:59,025 --> 00:31:00,694 -Hey, how do I look? -Oh, you look fine. You look fine. 527 00:31:00,777 --> 00:31:02,195 Now run on home. I'll call you up tomorrow. 528 00:31:02,279 --> 00:31:03,572 -Tomorrow? -Yeah. 529 00:31:03,655 --> 00:31:05,657 You know I always call you up every day or two. 530 00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:07,450 You and your gags! 531 00:31:07,534 --> 00:31:09,202 Hey, where's your hat? Come on, the bag's in the taxi. 532 00:31:09,286 --> 00:31:10,620 -Huh? Bags, taxi, what? -Yeah, come on! 533 00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:12,330 Oh, oh, Elaine, I'm so sorry, but something happened. 534 00:31:13,290 --> 00:31:14,875 What'd you do, lose your nerve? 535 00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:16,835 Hey, where's that look I was going to see so often? 536 00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:18,628 Look? Look? 537 00:31:18,712 --> 00:31:22,299 Oh! No, no, no, stop. Don't whistle in my ear, please. It's unnerving. 538 00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:24,217 Oh, Mortimer, what is wrong? Look at your hair. 539 00:31:24,301 --> 00:31:26,303 Oh, my goodness, what color is it? Quick, has it turned? 540 00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:29,431 Oh, darling, what's the matter, huh? 541 00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:32,350 -What happened? -Oh! Oh, Elaine. 542 00:31:32,434 --> 00:31:33,518 Those flowers are so beautiful. 543 00:31:33,602 --> 00:31:35,937 Oh, if I could only tell you, Elaine. Oh, you smell so nice now. 544 00:31:37,772 --> 00:31:39,274 Oh, oh, you better go home! 545 00:31:39,357 --> 00:31:40,859 But, darling, we were married today! 546 00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:42,694 Well, all right, go home, go to bed, get some rest! 547 00:31:42,777 --> 00:31:43,945 Rest? 548 00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:47,949 Hello. Hello. Who? Oh, Judge Cullman? 549 00:31:48,033 --> 00:31:50,327 Oh, oh, this is Mortimer Brewster. 550 00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:52,954 Look, Judge, I'll tell you why I called you. It's about Teddy. 551 00:31:53,038 --> 00:31:54,915 I've got to come over and see you right away. 552 00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:56,791 Well, I'm afraid it won't wait until tomorrow, Judge. 553 00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,668 Yes, you see, it's very, very important. 554 00:31:58,752 --> 00:32:00,462 We've got to do something about Teddy immediately. 555 00:32:00,545 --> 00:32:02,422 Well, it's practically a matter of life and... Elaine! 556 00:32:04,424 --> 00:32:05,467 Will you get out of here? 557 00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:07,552 Mortimer, what in the world is going on around here? 558 00:32:07,636 --> 00:32:08,970 I wanna know where I stand! 559 00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,723 -Oh, anywhere, but don't stand there! -But, darling, Niagara Falls! 560 00:32:11,806 --> 00:32:14,476 -It does? Well, let it! -Now wait a minute! Listen. 561 00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:16,853 You can't marry me one minute and throw me out of the house the next. 562 00:32:16,937 --> 00:32:18,647 Of course, darling, I'm not throwing you out of the house! 563 00:32:18,730 --> 00:32:20,524 I'm not throwing you out of the house. Will you get out of here? 564 00:32:23,568 --> 00:32:24,569 Mortimer! 565 00:32:25,278 --> 00:32:27,113 Uh, I'm sorry, Judge. But a thing happened. 566 00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:29,324 Look, Judge, about Teddy, you see, he's... 567 00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:30,784 - Mortimer! - Oh, dear. 568 00:32:30,867 --> 00:32:32,494 You see, Judge, it's his bugle blowing. 569 00:32:32,577 --> 00:32:33,787 Yes, the neighbors have been complaining 570 00:32:33,870 --> 00:32:35,705 and the police are all set to throw him into a state institution. 571 00:32:37,249 --> 00:32:38,542 How do you like that? 572 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:41,753 -I read an ad here about a room to rent. -Oh, shut up! 573 00:32:48,093 --> 00:32:50,095 Well, I thought if you could sign the papers, 574 00:32:50,178 --> 00:32:52,514 and I can get Teddy to commit himself, we can get him into Happy Dale. 575 00:32:52,597 --> 00:32:54,391 Yes, it's a wonderful place, Judge. 576 00:32:54,474 --> 00:32:55,642 You will? 577 00:32:55,725 --> 00:32:57,811 Fine! I'll be... I'll be right over as soon as I've made another call. 578 00:33:00,605 --> 00:33:02,482 Doorbell's ringing, dear. 579 00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:08,905 Oh, how do you do? Come in. 580 00:33:09,239 --> 00:33:11,116 I understand you've got a room to rent. 581 00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:12,701 Yes! Do step in. 582 00:33:13,785 --> 00:33:17,455 -Are you the lady of the house? -Yes, I'm Miss Brewster. 583 00:33:17,539 --> 00:33:19,666 Hello, operator? Give me long distance, please. 584 00:33:19,749 --> 00:33:22,627 And this is my sister. Another Miss Brewster. 585 00:33:22,711 --> 00:33:25,714 -My name's Gibbs. -Well, do sit down. 586 00:33:26,173 --> 00:33:29,092 I'm sorry, we're just setting the table for dinner. 587 00:33:30,218 --> 00:33:33,847 Now, this would be a nice comfortable chair. 588 00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:35,724 Oh, hello, long distance? 589 00:33:35,807 --> 00:33:38,518 I want the Happy Dale Sanitarium, Happy Dale, New York. 590 00:33:38,602 --> 00:33:40,437 Is Brooklyn your home? 591 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,731 Haven't got a home. Live in a hotel, don't like it. 592 00:33:42,814 --> 00:33:45,901 Uh, are your family Brooklyn people? 593 00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:48,111 - Hello? What, operator? - Haven't got any family. 594 00:33:48,195 --> 00:33:49,821 All alone in the world? 595 00:33:49,905 --> 00:33:51,573 - Yep. - But... No, no. 596 00:33:51,656 --> 00:33:55,118 - Well, Martha... - No, Happy Dale! Yes. 597 00:33:55,202 --> 00:33:57,746 Well, you've come to just the right house. 598 00:33:57,829 --> 00:33:59,456 - Do sit down. - Dale. 599 00:33:59,873 --> 00:34:01,958 D like in dig, you know when you dig a lock? 600 00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:05,420 That's right. Yeah, A like in arsenic. Got that? 601 00:34:05,754 --> 00:34:07,380 Is there always this much noise? 602 00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,716 Oh, he doesn't live with us. 603 00:34:09,799 --> 00:34:11,760 I can see the headlines now. Oh, please. 604 00:34:12,385 --> 00:34:13,637 Hello? 605 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:16,640 I'd really like to see the room. I don't think I'll like it. 606 00:34:16,723 --> 00:34:18,058 The room's upstairs. 607 00:34:18,141 --> 00:34:21,686 Won't you try a glass of our wine before we start up? 608 00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:23,271 -Never touch it. -Oh. Er... 609 00:34:23,355 --> 00:34:27,776 Well, we... We make this ourselves. It's elderberry wine. 610 00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:30,320 Elderberry? 611 00:34:33,031 --> 00:34:35,742 I haven't tasted elderberry wine since I was a boy. 612 00:34:35,825 --> 00:34:37,285 - Thank you. - Oh! Operator! 613 00:34:37,369 --> 00:34:40,789 Look, I don't want the Happy Dale Laundry! I want the Happy Dale Sanitarium! 614 00:34:40,872 --> 00:34:44,668 Sanitarium! Sanitarium! Sanitarium! Yes, like a broken record! 615 00:34:44,751 --> 00:34:49,089 -Have your own elderberry bushes? -Er, no, but the cemetery's full of them. 616 00:34:49,172 --> 00:34:51,716 Oh, well, skoal. 617 00:34:52,384 --> 00:34:55,053 Hello, operator! Look, operator, what's taking you so long? 618 00:34:55,136 --> 00:34:57,180 It's only across the river! I could swim it faster! 619 00:34:57,264 --> 00:34:58,348 Yes! 620 00:34:59,182 --> 00:35:01,852 Hello! Hello... What... 621 00:35:01,935 --> 00:35:03,436 What, they're busy? 622 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,230 Busy? 623 00:35:05,313 --> 00:35:07,065 Look, they're busy and you're dizzy! 624 00:35:07,148 --> 00:35:09,734 No, I'm not drunk, madam, but you've given me an idea! 625 00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:17,492 Mortimer! Uh-uh-uh-uh. 626 00:35:17,576 --> 00:35:19,828 Darling, don't uh-uh-uh-uh. I'm nervous. No, no, don't do that. 627 00:35:20,328 --> 00:35:21,830 Mortimer, not that. 628 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:26,209 No! 629 00:35:31,923 --> 00:35:33,216 Get out of here! Do you want to be poisoned, 630 00:35:33,300 --> 00:35:35,010 do you want to be murdered, do you want to be killed? Do you? 631 00:35:36,428 --> 00:35:37,846 Oh! 632 00:35:39,848 --> 00:35:41,349 They're nuts! 633 00:35:41,433 --> 00:35:42,851 You're telling me! 634 00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:54,404 Look, you can't do things like that! 635 00:35:56,948 --> 00:35:57,908 Oh, dear. 636 00:36:01,411 --> 00:36:04,331 Now I don't know how I can explain this to you... 637 00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:10,003 But it's not only against the law, it's wrong. 638 00:36:10,086 --> 00:36:11,588 Oh, piffle! 639 00:36:12,005 --> 00:36:13,882 It's not a nice thing to do. 640 00:36:14,925 --> 00:36:18,220 People wouldn't understand. He wouldn't understand. 641 00:36:20,972 --> 00:36:22,724 What I mean is... Well... 642 00:36:23,975 --> 00:36:27,437 This is developing into a very bad habit! 643 00:36:31,149 --> 00:36:32,484 Oh. Just... 644 00:36:34,986 --> 00:36:37,280 Hello, who? Oh, Happy Dale Sanitarium? 645 00:36:37,364 --> 00:36:39,908 Oh, that's amazing, operator. Yes. 646 00:36:39,991 --> 00:36:42,327 Happy Dale? Uh, let me talk to Mr. Witherspoon, please. 647 00:36:42,410 --> 00:36:43,787 Mr. Witherspoon speaking. 648 00:36:44,746 --> 00:36:47,332 Oh, how do you do, Mr. Brewster? How are you? 649 00:36:47,999 --> 00:36:52,254 Uh, uh, well, Mr. Witherspoon, do you... Oh, I'm fine, thanks. How are you? 650 00:36:52,337 --> 00:36:54,256 Mr. Witherspoon, do you remember that conversation we had 651 00:36:54,339 --> 00:36:56,883 about committing my brother Teddy to Happy Dale? 652 00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:59,553 You do? Well, we want to commit him there immediately. 653 00:36:59,886 --> 00:37:00,929 Oh, dear. 654 00:37:01,012 --> 00:37:02,514 Oh, dear. Oh, that's too bad. 655 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,893 Well, I'd hoped we wouldn't have him for some time yet. 656 00:37:06,977 --> 00:37:10,313 Well, you see, Mr. Brewster, we have several Theodore Roosevelts at the moment, 657 00:37:10,397 --> 00:37:13,400 and it would lead to trouble. Oh, trouble. 658 00:37:13,483 --> 00:37:16,444 Oh. Well, now, if he thought that... 659 00:37:16,528 --> 00:37:20,198 Well, Mr. Brewster, we're a bit short of Napoleons at present. 660 00:37:20,282 --> 00:37:22,534 Bonaparte. And, uh, if... 661 00:37:23,952 --> 00:37:26,830 Oh? Oh, I see. Of course. 662 00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:29,416 Well, er, if your mind is made up. Yes. 663 00:37:29,499 --> 00:37:31,459 Yes. Have you had the papers drawn up? 664 00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:34,379 No, but I'm going to do that right now. I'll call you as soon as I have them. 665 00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:36,464 Thank you, Mr... What? 666 00:37:36,548 --> 00:37:38,675 Oh, all right. Thank you, Mr. Witherspoon. 667 00:37:40,552 --> 00:37:42,596 Another Roosevelt. Oh, dear, dear. 668 00:37:43,263 --> 00:37:45,974 Now listen, darlings, I've got to run over to Judge Cullman's, 669 00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:47,851 but before I go I want you to promise me something. 670 00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:50,270 Well, we'd have to know what it was first. 671 00:37:50,812 --> 00:37:52,981 Well, I love you both very much. 672 00:37:53,064 --> 00:37:55,275 And you know I'd do anything in the world for you, don't you? 673 00:37:55,358 --> 00:37:56,943 -Yes, dear. -All right. 674 00:37:57,027 --> 00:37:59,404 Then I want you to do one little thing for me, like good girls. 675 00:37:59,487 --> 00:38:00,989 What do you want us to do? 676 00:38:01,072 --> 00:38:04,075 Don't do anything. I mean, don't do anything! 677 00:38:04,618 --> 00:38:07,245 Don't let anyone in the house and leave Mr. Whosit right where he is... 678 00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:08,413 Oh, get off that thing. 679 00:38:08,497 --> 00:38:10,540 I can't talk to you like this... I can't concentrate. 680 00:38:11,333 --> 00:38:12,375 Oh, now, look, darlings, 681 00:38:12,459 --> 00:38:14,586 I wouldn't want anything in the world to happen to either of you. 682 00:38:14,669 --> 00:38:17,005 Well, what on Earth could happen to us? 683 00:38:17,088 --> 00:38:18,298 Well, darling... 684 00:38:18,632 --> 00:38:21,176 Anyway, you'll do that little thing for me, won't you? 685 00:38:21,259 --> 00:38:23,261 All right, now, where's my hat? Oh, there it is. 686 00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:25,847 -But, Mortimer. -What, darling, what? 687 00:38:25,931 --> 00:38:29,142 We were planning to hold services before dinner. 688 00:38:29,226 --> 00:38:31,019 Well, look, sweet, couldn't that wait until I get back? 689 00:38:31,102 --> 00:38:33,605 Oh! Then you could join us in the hymns! 690 00:38:33,688 --> 00:38:35,023 Yes, darling, I could join you in the hymn. 691 00:38:35,106 --> 00:38:36,816 I'll sing with you, I'll dance with you, I'll do anything. 692 00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:40,487 But... Now, remember, don't let anybody in the house until I get back. 693 00:38:40,570 --> 00:38:42,030 -You promise? -Yes. 694 00:38:42,113 --> 00:38:43,073 Good. 695 00:38:44,866 --> 00:38:46,409 - Mortimer! - What, huh? 696 00:38:48,370 --> 00:38:50,121 Oh, stop uh-uh-uh-uh-ing. What is it? 697 00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:52,457 Mr. Hoskins' hat! 698 00:38:52,541 --> 00:38:53,500 Oh! 699 00:38:58,004 --> 00:39:00,257 -Do you still want me to wait for you? -Yes! Call me a cab! 700 00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:01,967 Yeah, okay. Hey, cab! 701 00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:03,802 -Get me a cab. -Oh, yeah, there you are. 702 00:39:03,885 --> 00:39:05,303 Don't open that, I'll sit with you! 703 00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:07,514 Yeah, that's right. I can go faster that way. Sure. 704 00:39:08,682 --> 00:39:10,976 Wait a minute! What am I doing? Hey. 705 00:39:12,936 --> 00:39:15,063 Come here! 706 00:39:15,397 --> 00:39:18,650 Getting nice Mr. Hoskins' hat all mussed up. 707 00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:22,028 -A shame! Such a nice hat. -Yes. 708 00:39:23,029 --> 00:39:28,118 You know, Abby, Mortimer didn't seem to be quite himself today. 709 00:39:28,201 --> 00:39:30,537 No. Oh, well. 710 00:39:38,503 --> 00:39:41,339 Er, what were you saying about Mortimer? 711 00:39:41,423 --> 00:39:44,509 Oh, I think I understand why he seemed so upset. 712 00:39:44,593 --> 00:39:46,094 Why? 713 00:39:46,178 --> 00:39:47,971 He's just been married. 714 00:39:48,471 --> 00:39:52,267 I believe that always makes a man a little nervous. 715 00:39:52,350 --> 00:39:54,102 Oh, yes. The poor dears. 716 00:39:55,604 --> 00:39:58,773 Well, I'm so happy for Elaine. 717 00:39:59,816 --> 00:40:01,067 Oh, Abby. 718 00:40:01,151 --> 00:40:03,570 If Mortimer's coming back for the services for Mr. Hoskins, 719 00:40:03,653 --> 00:40:05,363 we'll need another hymnal. 720 00:40:05,447 --> 00:40:07,073 There's one up in my room. 721 00:40:09,910 --> 00:40:11,369 Oh. I'll go, dear. 722 00:40:11,912 --> 00:40:12,954 Abby. 723 00:40:13,038 --> 00:40:16,124 We promised Mortimer we wouldn't let anyone come in. 724 00:40:21,463 --> 00:40:24,466 Abby, it's two men, and I've never seen them before. 725 00:40:24,549 --> 00:40:26,384 -Are you sure? -Yes. 726 00:40:27,219 --> 00:40:29,387 - Let me look. - Yeah, you look. 727 00:40:33,183 --> 00:40:36,436 -Do you recognize them? -No, they're strangers to me. 728 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,650 Well, we'll just have to pretend we're not at home. 729 00:41:13,473 --> 00:41:14,850 Come in, Doctor. 730 00:41:19,271 --> 00:41:22,399 This is the home of my youth. 731 00:41:22,482 --> 00:41:25,944 As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape from this house. 732 00:41:26,820 --> 00:41:29,489 Now I'm glad to escape back into it. 733 00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:33,201 Yes, Johnny, it's a good hideout. 734 00:41:34,828 --> 00:41:36,663 The family must still live here. 735 00:41:39,791 --> 00:41:43,545 I hope there's a fatted calf awaiting the return of the prodigal. 736 00:41:43,628 --> 00:41:44,754 A fatted calf? 737 00:41:45,714 --> 00:41:48,300 Oh, Johnny, I'm so hungry. 738 00:41:48,383 --> 00:41:50,468 Look, Johnny. Drink. 739 00:41:51,219 --> 00:41:53,555 -As if we were expected. -Yes. 740 00:41:53,638 --> 00:41:54,973 A good omen. 741 00:41:55,056 --> 00:41:56,349 Who are you? 742 00:41:57,267 --> 00:41:58,935 What are you doing here? 743 00:42:00,854 --> 00:42:03,857 Aunt Abby. Aunt Martha. 744 00:42:05,108 --> 00:42:06,443 It's Jonathan. 745 00:42:06,526 --> 00:42:08,778 You... You get out of here! 746 00:42:09,487 --> 00:42:11,781 I'm Jonathan, you know. 747 00:42:11,865 --> 00:42:13,700 Your nephew, Jonathan. 748 00:42:13,783 --> 00:42:14,868 Oh, no, you're not. 749 00:42:15,285 --> 00:42:18,288 You're nothing like Jonathan, so don't pretend you are. 750 00:42:18,371 --> 00:42:19,873 You just get out of here. 751 00:42:20,499 --> 00:42:23,710 I see you're still wearing the lovely garnet ring 752 00:42:23,793 --> 00:42:25,337 that Grandma Brewster bought in England. 753 00:42:27,297 --> 00:42:30,050 And you, Aunt Martha, still the high collar 754 00:42:30,133 --> 00:42:33,803 to hide the scar where Grandfather's acid burned you. 755 00:42:34,888 --> 00:42:37,766 Why, his voice is like Jonathan's. 756 00:42:38,642 --> 00:42:41,853 Have... Have you been in an accident? 757 00:42:42,437 --> 00:42:43,813 My face. 758 00:42:45,065 --> 00:42:47,859 Dr. Einstein is responsible for that. 759 00:42:47,943 --> 00:42:49,819 He's a plastic surgeon. 760 00:42:49,903 --> 00:42:52,948 But... But I've seen that face before. 761 00:42:54,574 --> 00:42:58,954 Abby, do you remember when we took the little Schultz boy to the movies, 762 00:42:59,037 --> 00:43:00,831 and I was so frightened? 763 00:43:00,914 --> 00:43:02,165 It was that face. 764 00:43:05,919 --> 00:43:07,838 Take it easy, Johnny. Take it easy. 765 00:43:07,921 --> 00:43:11,258 Don't worry. The last five years, I give him three different faces. 766 00:43:11,341 --> 00:43:13,260 I give him another one right away. 767 00:43:13,969 --> 00:43:17,556 That last face. I saw that picture, too, 768 00:43:17,639 --> 00:43:21,810 just before I operating. I was intoxicated. 769 00:43:22,644 --> 00:43:24,938 You see, Doctor, what you've done to me? 770 00:43:25,021 --> 00:43:28,358 -Even my own family think I'm... -Johnny, Johnny! 771 00:43:28,441 --> 00:43:32,070 You are home in this lovely house. 772 00:43:32,153 --> 00:43:33,822 You know... 773 00:43:35,448 --> 00:43:38,326 How many times he tells me about... 774 00:43:38,410 --> 00:43:41,872 About Brooklyn, about this house and about his aunts 775 00:43:41,955 --> 00:43:43,456 he loves so much? 776 00:43:43,832 --> 00:43:45,250 They know you, Johnny. 777 00:43:45,333 --> 00:43:46,668 Please tell him so. 778 00:43:48,336 --> 00:43:51,882 Well, Jonathan, 779 00:43:51,965 --> 00:43:53,884 it's been a long time. 780 00:43:53,967 --> 00:43:56,469 Bless you. It's good to be home again. 781 00:44:00,223 --> 00:44:04,269 Well, Martha, we mustn't let what's on the stove boil over. 782 00:44:06,605 --> 00:44:09,316 If you'll excuse us for a moment, Jonathan. 783 00:44:09,399 --> 00:44:13,320 Unless you're in a hurry to go somewhere. 784 00:44:31,630 --> 00:44:34,049 Well, Johnny, where do we go from here? 785 00:44:36,092 --> 00:44:39,221 You know, Johnny, we got to think fast. 786 00:44:39,304 --> 00:44:41,932 The police, they got pictures of that face. 787 00:44:42,015 --> 00:44:43,934 I got to operate on you right away. 788 00:44:44,017 --> 00:44:46,186 We got to find someplace. 789 00:44:47,479 --> 00:44:50,524 We got to find someplace for Mr. Spenalzo, too. 790 00:44:51,233 --> 00:44:53,401 Don't waste any worry on that rat. 791 00:44:54,027 --> 00:44:57,155 But we got a hot stiff on our hands. 792 00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:58,949 Forget Mr. Spenalzo. 793 00:44:59,491 --> 00:45:03,161 But, Johnny, we can't leave a dead body in the rumble seat. 794 00:45:03,245 --> 00:45:05,121 You shouldn't have killed him. 795 00:45:05,205 --> 00:45:08,458 Just because he knows something about us, what happens? 796 00:45:08,792 --> 00:45:10,794 That's it. 797 00:45:11,670 --> 00:45:14,422 We come to him for help and he tries to shake us down. 798 00:45:18,051 --> 00:45:22,514 Besides, he said I looked like Boris Karloff. 799 00:45:25,058 --> 00:45:26,977 That's your work, Doctor. 800 00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:28,353 You did that to me. 801 00:45:28,687 --> 00:45:30,689 Now, please, Johnny, take it easy. 802 00:45:30,772 --> 00:45:33,400 We'll find someplace and I'll fix you up right away, huh? 803 00:45:33,483 --> 00:45:36,069 -Tonight. -Yes, tonight, but I have to eat first. 804 00:45:37,070 --> 00:45:40,490 This time, I want the face of an absolute nonentity. 805 00:45:40,574 --> 00:45:43,910 Yes, Johnny, I know exactly what I'm going to do. 806 00:45:43,994 --> 00:45:47,497 You see, I'm going to take this piece here and lift it up... 807 00:45:47,581 --> 00:45:49,583 Be careful about the stitches this time. 808 00:45:49,666 --> 00:45:51,334 -I look like I'm maimed. -You leave that up to me. 809 00:45:51,418 --> 00:45:53,170 I'll give you nice little ears and... 810 00:45:53,253 --> 00:45:54,838 -You were careless last time. -And new stitches. 811 00:45:54,921 --> 00:45:56,256 You understand? You were careless. 812 00:45:56,339 --> 00:45:59,509 And on the eyes I'll do a Schmidt. That's my specialty. 813 00:45:59,593 --> 00:46:03,013 -I take it together like this... -No, leave the eyes alone. 814 00:46:03,096 --> 00:46:04,681 -Leave the nose alone. -You leave it... 815 00:46:05,098 --> 00:46:06,183 Poor Teddy. 816 00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:09,144 I imagine it's for the best. 817 00:46:10,103 --> 00:46:15,609 Well, ours not to reason why, ours but to do... 818 00:46:15,692 --> 00:46:18,028 Sign right here, please, Judge. Excuse me. 819 00:46:18,111 --> 00:46:19,279 Right there. 820 00:46:19,362 --> 00:46:24,034 Mmm-hmm. Sometimes I think, with the world in its present chaotic state... 821 00:46:24,117 --> 00:46:26,286 Yes, I know, we'd all be better off at Happy Dale. 822 00:46:26,369 --> 00:46:28,830 I sign here as next of kin, don't I? 823 00:46:28,914 --> 00:46:32,125 Only last week I created a mild sensation 824 00:46:32,209 --> 00:46:35,462 at the bar association when I said... 825 00:46:35,545 --> 00:46:37,589 Goodbye. Good luck, Judge. Thank you. 826 00:46:37,672 --> 00:46:40,050 Tell Martha and Abby I'll be over this week. 827 00:46:40,133 --> 00:46:41,760 I've been feeling rather lonely. 828 00:46:41,843 --> 00:46:44,804 No! No. Oh, no. Never tell them you've been lonely. Never! 829 00:46:44,888 --> 00:46:47,015 - Why? I don't... - Judge, Judge. 830 00:46:48,183 --> 00:46:50,519 Tell me, are you a drinking man? 831 00:46:50,602 --> 00:46:53,396 Why, no. I never indulge. 832 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,524 Good! Well, then you'll live longer. 833 00:46:55,607 --> 00:46:57,317 Of course, a little wine now and then... 834 00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:00,362 Whoa! No! No. For heaven's sakes, no wine! No wine. 835 00:47:02,155 --> 00:47:05,534 I may be committing the wrong Brewster. 836 00:47:07,244 --> 00:47:11,581 Well, I... I'm sure you both want to get to wherever you're going. 837 00:47:11,665 --> 00:47:16,002 My dear, sweet aunties, I'm so full of your delicious dinner, 838 00:47:16,086 --> 00:47:20,048 -I'm unable to move a muscle. -Yes, it's nice here. 839 00:47:20,131 --> 00:47:22,342 I found it! I found it! 840 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,136 Gentlemen, be seated. 841 00:47:28,723 --> 00:47:31,852 Here it is, gentlemen. The story of my life, my biography. 842 00:47:31,935 --> 00:47:33,353 Here's the picture I was telling you about. 843 00:47:33,436 --> 00:47:35,146 General, here we are, both of us. 844 00:47:35,230 --> 00:47:38,066 President Roosevelt and General Goethals at Culebra Cut. 845 00:47:38,149 --> 00:47:39,818 That's me, General, and that's you. 846 00:47:41,236 --> 00:47:43,113 My, how I've changed! 847 00:47:44,197 --> 00:47:46,324 Well, you see, that picture hasn't been taken yet. 848 00:47:46,408 --> 00:47:48,577 We haven't even started work on Culebra Cut. 849 00:47:48,660 --> 00:47:50,203 We're still digging locks. 850 00:47:50,287 --> 00:47:54,207 And now, General, we will both go to Panama and inspect the new lock. 851 00:47:54,291 --> 00:47:56,209 No, Teddy. Not to Panama. 852 00:47:56,751 --> 00:48:00,589 Maybe some other time, Mr. President. Panama is a long ways off. 853 00:48:00,672 --> 00:48:03,341 -Nonsense! It's just down in the cellar. -The cellar? 854 00:48:04,092 --> 00:48:07,262 Well, we let him dig the Panama Canal in the cellar. 855 00:48:08,221 --> 00:48:10,348 -General Goethals? -Yes, sir. 856 00:48:10,432 --> 00:48:13,643 As President of the United States, Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, 857 00:48:13,727 --> 00:48:15,520 and the man who gave you this job, 858 00:48:15,604 --> 00:48:18,690 I demand that you accompany me on the inspection of the new lock. 859 00:48:18,773 --> 00:48:20,817 Teddy, I think it's time for you to go to bed. 860 00:48:22,444 --> 00:48:25,697 I beg your pardon. Who are you? 861 00:48:25,780 --> 00:48:27,574 I'm Woodrow Wilson. Go to bed. 862 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,538 No, you're not Wilson. But your face is familiar. 863 00:48:33,622 --> 00:48:35,707 Let me see... You're not anyone I know now. 864 00:48:35,790 --> 00:48:38,168 Perhaps later, on my hunting trip to Africa. 865 00:48:38,251 --> 00:48:40,504 Yes, you look like someone I might meet in the jungle. 866 00:48:41,838 --> 00:48:45,258 I... I think perhaps you had better go to bed, Teddy. 867 00:48:45,342 --> 00:48:48,303 He and his friend want to get back to their hotel. 868 00:48:49,221 --> 00:48:50,680 General Goethals, inspect the canal. 869 00:48:52,182 --> 00:48:54,726 All right, Mr. President, we go to Panama. 870 00:48:54,809 --> 00:48:57,187 Bully, bully! Follow me, General. 871 00:49:01,149 --> 00:49:02,984 -It's down south, you know. -Oh. 872 00:49:05,612 --> 00:49:07,489 Well, bon voyage. 873 00:49:11,493 --> 00:49:15,622 Aunt Abby, I must correct your misapprehension. 874 00:49:16,498 --> 00:49:18,583 You talked of our hotel. 875 00:49:18,667 --> 00:49:22,379 We have no hotel. We came here directly. 876 00:49:22,879 --> 00:49:26,883 This is not your home, and I'm afraid you can't stay here. 877 00:49:31,388 --> 00:49:35,141 Dr. Einstein and I need a place to sleep. 878 00:49:36,017 --> 00:49:39,563 You remember that, as a boy, I could be disagreeable. 879 00:49:39,646 --> 00:49:42,440 It would not be pleasant for any of us if... 880 00:49:43,358 --> 00:49:46,069 I don't have to go into details, do I? 881 00:49:46,152 --> 00:49:49,447 Perhaps we'd better let them stay here tonight. 882 00:49:49,948 --> 00:49:52,200 Hey, Johnny. Johnny, come here. Quick. 883 00:49:53,201 --> 00:49:54,452 Why, I forgot to tell you. 884 00:49:54,536 --> 00:49:57,497 Dr. Einstein and I are turning Grandfather's laboratory 885 00:49:57,581 --> 00:50:00,584 into an operating room. We expect to be very busy. 886 00:50:03,670 --> 00:50:05,130 Hey, Johnny. 887 00:50:05,213 --> 00:50:07,757 -Down here, what do you think I find? -What? 888 00:50:07,841 --> 00:50:09,301 The Panama Canal! 889 00:50:10,093 --> 00:50:13,430 And it just fits Mr. Spenalzo. 890 00:50:13,513 --> 00:50:17,017 See the hole he's digging? Four feet wide, six feet long. 891 00:50:17,100 --> 00:50:18,476 He just fits! 892 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,897 You'd think he knew we were bringing Mr. Spenalzo along. 893 00:50:22,564 --> 00:50:23,773 That's hospitality, huh? 894 00:50:24,566 --> 00:50:26,484 Rather a good joke on my aunts. 895 00:50:26,568 --> 00:50:29,279 They're living in a house with a body buried in the cellar. 896 00:50:32,574 --> 00:50:34,034 Hey, how do we get him in here? 897 00:50:34,910 --> 00:50:39,080 Yes, we can't just walk Mr. Spenalzo in through the door. 898 00:50:39,164 --> 00:50:40,874 We'll bring the car up between the cemetery and the house, 899 00:50:40,957 --> 00:50:42,000 and after they've gone to bed, 900 00:50:42,083 --> 00:50:43,627 we'll bring Mr. Spenalzo in through the window. 901 00:50:43,710 --> 00:50:45,587 Bed. Johnny! 902 00:50:47,506 --> 00:50:50,717 We're moving the car behind the house. You'd better get to bed. 903 00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,553 The car is all right where it is until morning. 904 00:50:53,637 --> 00:50:57,140 I don't want to leave it in the street. That might be against the law. 905 00:51:02,896 --> 00:51:05,815 Abby, what are we going to do? 906 00:51:05,899 --> 00:51:08,360 Well, we're not going to let them spend more than one night 907 00:51:08,443 --> 00:51:10,320 in this house for one thing. 908 00:51:10,403 --> 00:51:11,821 What would the neighbors think? 909 00:51:11,905 --> 00:51:14,825 People coming in here with one face and going out with another. 910 00:51:16,743 --> 00:51:19,120 And what are we going to do about Mr. Hoskins? 911 00:51:19,204 --> 00:51:21,623 Oh, Mr. Hoskins! 912 00:51:21,998 --> 00:51:25,001 It can't be very comfortable for him in there. 913 00:51:25,085 --> 00:51:28,296 And he's been so patient, the poor dear. 914 00:51:28,922 --> 00:51:33,510 Well, I think Teddy had better take Mr. Hoskins downstairs right away. 915 00:51:35,136 --> 00:51:39,391 General Goethals was very pleased. He said the canal was just the right size. 916 00:51:39,933 --> 00:51:44,479 Teddy. Teddy, there's been another yellow-fever victim. 917 00:51:45,021 --> 00:51:48,608 Dear me! This will be a shock to the General. 918 00:51:49,568 --> 00:51:52,737 No, Teddy, we must keep it a secret. 919 00:51:52,821 --> 00:51:55,365 -Yes. -A state secret? 920 00:51:55,448 --> 00:51:58,243 -Yes, a state secret. -Promise? 921 00:51:59,077 --> 00:52:01,997 You have the word of the President of the United States. 922 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,250 Cross my heart and hope to die. Now, um, let's see. 923 00:52:06,585 --> 00:52:09,171 How are we going to keep it a secret? 924 00:52:09,254 --> 00:52:12,883 Well, Teddy, I think you'd better get back down into the cellar. 925 00:52:12,966 --> 00:52:14,092 And then, 926 00:52:14,176 --> 00:52:18,180 when I turn out the lights, when everything's dark here, 927 00:52:18,263 --> 00:52:21,349 you come up and take the poor man down to the canal. 928 00:52:21,433 --> 00:52:22,392 Now get along, Teddy. 929 00:52:22,893 --> 00:52:25,395 And we'll come down later and hold services. 930 00:52:26,897 --> 00:52:29,107 - Where is the poor devil? - In the window seat. 931 00:52:29,191 --> 00:52:30,817 It seems to be spreading. 932 00:52:30,901 --> 00:52:32,903 We've never had yellow fever there before. 933 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:40,827 Abby, I've never even seen Mr. Hoskins! 934 00:52:40,911 --> 00:52:44,915 Oh, my goodness! That's right, you were out. 935 00:52:44,998 --> 00:52:48,752 Well, you just come right along and see him now. 936 00:52:49,794 --> 00:52:54,424 You know, he's really very nice looking, considering that he's a Methodist. 937 00:53:11,233 --> 00:53:13,109 We're bringing the luggage through here. 938 00:53:19,032 --> 00:53:23,954 Jonathan, your room is waiting for you. You can go right up. 939 00:53:25,038 --> 00:53:29,167 I'm afraid we don't keep Brooklyn hours. You two run along to bed. 940 00:53:29,251 --> 00:53:32,379 Oh, but you must be very tired. Both of you. 941 00:53:32,462 --> 00:53:34,631 And we don't go to bed this early. 942 00:53:34,714 --> 00:53:36,967 It's time I came home to take care of you. 943 00:53:37,050 --> 00:53:38,218 Take the bags upstairs. 944 00:53:39,344 --> 00:53:42,013 For the instruments, I'll come back later. 945 00:53:42,097 --> 00:53:43,223 Good night. 946 00:53:44,057 --> 00:53:45,767 Now, we'll all go to bed. 947 00:53:45,851 --> 00:53:49,229 I'll, uh, wait until you're up and then turn out the lights. 948 00:53:50,063 --> 00:53:51,481 Run along, Aunt Martha. 949 00:53:53,525 --> 00:53:55,402 Just off the laboratory, Doctor. 950 00:54:03,410 --> 00:54:05,996 -All right, Aunt Abby. -I'll be right up. 951 00:54:06,079 --> 00:54:08,707 Now, Aunt Abby! Turn out the lights. 952 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,823 Aunt Abby. 953 00:56:47,032 --> 00:56:48,492 He's all right, Johnny. 954 00:56:57,667 --> 00:57:01,213 I'll open the window. You go round and hand him through. 955 00:57:01,296 --> 00:57:03,340 But he's too heavy for me. 956 00:57:05,383 --> 00:57:08,929 You go outside, Johnny, and push it, and I'll stay here and pull. 957 00:57:09,012 --> 00:57:11,890 And then together we take him down to Panama, huh? 958 00:57:12,516 --> 00:57:16,019 All right. We must be quick. I'll take a look around outside the house. 959 00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,105 When I tap on the glass, you open the window. 960 00:57:19,189 --> 00:57:20,273 Yeah. 961 00:57:27,989 --> 00:57:29,491 It's dark in here. 962 00:57:43,255 --> 00:57:44,297 Where am I? 963 00:57:45,423 --> 00:57:46,466 Oh, here I am. 964 00:57:47,717 --> 00:57:49,761 Who left this open? 965 00:57:52,806 --> 00:57:54,099 Johnny? 966 00:57:55,642 --> 00:57:58,311 Okay, Johnny, wait a minute. Hand him over. 967 00:57:58,728 --> 00:58:01,731 Now I have him. Alley-up! 968 00:58:03,108 --> 00:58:07,195 Now, wait a minute, Johnny. You lost a leg somewhere. 969 00:58:08,738 --> 00:58:11,616 Help me. He's so heavy. 970 00:58:11,700 --> 00:58:14,661 Now I have him. Now I got him. 971 00:58:15,996 --> 00:58:19,082 -Be careful. -But his shoe came off. 972 00:58:20,542 --> 00:58:23,003 Help me, Johnny. He's so heavy. 973 00:58:23,545 --> 00:58:25,463 Now I've got him! 974 00:58:27,507 --> 00:58:30,760 Hey, Johnny, somebody's at the door. Go open, quick. 975 00:58:30,844 --> 00:58:33,847 I'll manage Spenalzo. Go, quick! 976 00:58:47,652 --> 00:58:48,987 Mortimer! 977 00:58:53,658 --> 00:58:54,618 Aunt Abby! 978 00:58:56,786 --> 00:58:58,121 Aunt Martha! 979 00:59:03,376 --> 00:59:04,544 Who is it? 980 00:59:04,628 --> 00:59:05,962 Is that you, Teddy? 981 00:59:06,046 --> 00:59:07,130 Who are you? 982 00:59:07,214 --> 00:59:09,591 I'm Elaine Harper. I live next door. 983 00:59:09,674 --> 00:59:11,092 What are you doing here? 984 00:59:11,551 --> 00:59:13,512 I came here to see my husband, Mortimer. 985 00:59:14,012 --> 00:59:15,847 Why did you say your name was Harper? 986 00:59:15,931 --> 00:59:18,308 It is Harper. I mean, it's Brewster. 987 00:59:18,391 --> 00:59:20,435 I'm not very used to it. I'm a brand-new Brewster. 988 00:59:21,311 --> 00:59:22,521 Doctor! 989 00:59:23,188 --> 00:59:25,607 It's all right, Johnny. It's okay. 990 00:59:35,033 --> 00:59:37,619 Maybe you'd better explain what you're doing here. 991 00:59:37,702 --> 00:59:39,663 We happen to live here. 992 00:59:39,746 --> 00:59:41,623 You don't live here. 993 00:59:41,706 --> 00:59:44,042 I'm in this house every day, and I've never seen you before. 994 00:59:44,543 --> 00:59:47,546 Where are Miss Martha and Miss Abby? What have you done to them? 995 00:59:48,713 --> 00:59:50,799 Perhaps we'd better introduce ourselves. 996 00:59:51,716 --> 00:59:53,760 May I present Dr. Einstein? 997 00:59:54,803 --> 00:59:56,346 Dr. Einstein? 998 00:59:57,222 --> 00:59:59,099 A surgeon of great distinction. 999 01:00:01,852 --> 01:00:03,854 And something of a magician. 1000 01:00:04,729 --> 01:00:06,982 Now, I suppose you're going to tell me you're Boris... 1001 01:00:07,065 --> 01:00:08,483 I am Jonathan Brewster. 1002 01:00:09,693 --> 01:00:10,652 Oh. 1003 01:00:11,278 --> 01:00:13,196 -You're Jonathan. -Oh, you've heard of me? 1004 01:00:13,738 --> 01:00:16,658 -Yes, they talk about you. -And what do they say about me? 1005 01:00:16,741 --> 01:00:20,203 Just that there's another brother named Jonathan, that's all they say. 1006 01:00:20,287 --> 01:00:22,706 Well, that explains everything. 1007 01:00:22,789 --> 01:00:24,332 Now that I know who you are, 1008 01:00:24,416 --> 01:00:27,335 I'll just be running along if you'll kindly unlock the door. 1009 01:00:40,807 --> 01:00:44,644 That explains everything. Just what do you mean by that? 1010 01:00:44,728 --> 01:00:46,771 Why do you come here at this time of night? 1011 01:00:47,522 --> 01:00:50,859 I just thought I saw Mortimer drive up. I suppose it was you. 1012 01:00:54,446 --> 01:00:56,698 You thought you saw someone drive up? 1013 01:00:57,157 --> 01:01:00,160 Yes. Weren't you just outside? Isn't that your car? 1014 01:01:00,243 --> 01:01:02,746 -You saw someone at the car? -Yes. 1015 01:01:02,829 --> 01:01:05,790 -What else did you see? -Just that, that's all! 1016 01:01:05,874 --> 01:01:08,710 I see. Is that why you came over here? 1017 01:01:08,793 --> 01:01:12,088 No, I came to see Mortimer. But if he's not home, I'll run along. 1018 01:01:12,172 --> 01:01:14,508 -You've given two names. -You're hurting me! 1019 01:01:14,591 --> 01:01:16,176 I think she's dangerous. 1020 01:01:16,968 --> 01:01:19,429 No visitors. It's going to be a private funeral. 1021 01:01:22,098 --> 01:01:25,268 Teddy, tell these men who I am! 1022 01:01:25,352 --> 01:01:26,937 Well, that's my daughter, Alice. 1023 01:01:27,312 --> 01:01:29,314 Oh, no, Teddy! Teddy! 1024 01:01:29,397 --> 01:01:32,692 Now, Alice, don't be a tomboy. Don't play rough with the gentlemen. 1025 01:01:32,776 --> 01:01:33,985 Charge! 1026 01:01:37,030 --> 01:01:38,198 Teddy! 1027 01:01:42,911 --> 01:01:44,120 Doctor, the cellar. 1028 01:01:46,039 --> 01:01:47,707 Let go of me! 1029 01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:50,293 Let go of me! 1030 01:01:51,044 --> 01:01:53,964 What's the matter? What's happening down there? 1031 01:01:57,968 --> 01:02:00,428 What's the matter? What are you doing there? 1032 01:02:00,846 --> 01:02:03,974 We caught a burglar, a sneak thief. Go back to your room. 1033 01:02:04,349 --> 01:02:08,228 -We'll call the police. -I'll handle this. Go back to your room. 1034 01:02:09,020 --> 01:02:09,980 Do you hear me? 1035 01:02:13,066 --> 01:02:14,276 Don't answer that. 1036 01:02:15,652 --> 01:02:17,028 Don't answer that! 1037 01:02:17,529 --> 01:02:20,365 Miss Abby! Miss Martha! 1038 01:02:30,584 --> 01:02:32,002 -Mortimer! -Where's Teddy? Is he upstairs? 1039 01:02:32,085 --> 01:02:34,504 -Mortimer, where have you been? -Never mind that now, darling, please. 1040 01:02:34,588 --> 01:02:36,173 Darling, what are you doing with your best clothes on? 1041 01:02:36,256 --> 01:02:37,465 Mortimer! 1042 01:02:37,924 --> 01:02:39,926 Holy... What's that? 1043 01:02:42,095 --> 01:02:44,556 What's that thing there, darling? It looks like a cigar-store dummy. 1044 01:02:44,931 --> 01:02:47,350 It's your brother, Jonathan, and this is Dr. Einstein. 1045 01:02:47,434 --> 01:02:49,644 Look, dear, didn't I tell you not to let anybody in the house? 1046 01:02:49,728 --> 01:02:52,564 -Who did you say it was? -It's your brother, Jonathan! 1047 01:02:58,111 --> 01:03:01,031 -I've come back home, Mortimer. -What? 1048 01:03:01,114 --> 01:03:03,158 I've come back home, Mortimer. 1049 01:03:03,241 --> 01:03:06,119 I've come back home, Mortimer. Listen, it talks! 1050 01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:08,914 Yes, I talk. 1051 01:03:10,290 --> 01:03:14,211 Mortimer, have you forgotten the things I used to do to you, 1052 01:03:15,128 --> 01:03:17,214 when you were tied to the bedpost? 1053 01:03:17,297 --> 01:03:20,217 The needles under your fingernails. 1054 01:03:21,092 --> 01:03:22,928 -Mortimer, he... -Wait a minute. 1055 01:03:31,061 --> 01:03:32,395 Holy mackerel! 1056 01:03:32,812 --> 01:03:34,022 It is Jonathan! 1057 01:03:34,105 --> 01:03:35,649 I'm glad you remember, Mortimer. 1058 01:03:37,526 --> 01:03:38,818 Yeah, I remember. 1059 01:03:39,486 --> 01:03:41,029 How could I forget you? 1060 01:03:41,655 --> 01:03:43,824 Where'd you get that face? Hollywood? 1061 01:03:44,574 --> 01:03:48,912 Don't you two boys start quarreling again the minute you've seen each other. 1062 01:03:49,329 --> 01:03:52,624 We invited Jonathan and Dr. Einstein to stay. 1063 01:03:52,707 --> 01:03:55,252 -Oh. What? -Just for tonight. 1064 01:03:55,335 --> 01:03:57,379 Oh, no, you don't. I'm staying here tonight. 1065 01:03:57,462 --> 01:04:00,257 -In fact, I'm staying here from now on. -Mortimer, what about me? 1066 01:04:00,340 --> 01:04:02,259 So there's no room for anybody else in the house. 1067 01:04:02,342 --> 01:04:03,760 Please, darling, just a moment. 1068 01:04:03,844 --> 01:04:06,263 So take that little squirt and beat it! 1069 01:04:06,346 --> 01:04:08,098 Now, where's Teddy? I've got to see him right away. 1070 01:04:08,181 --> 01:04:09,266 Is he upstairs? 1071 01:04:09,349 --> 01:04:12,185 Mr. Brewster. We don't take up much room. 1072 01:04:12,269 --> 01:04:15,605 Johnny can sleep on the sofa, and I'll sleep on the window seat. 1073 01:04:15,689 --> 01:04:17,274 Nothing to... 1074 01:04:17,357 --> 01:04:18,483 Window seat? 1075 01:04:19,526 --> 01:04:21,236 Certainly not on the window seat. 1076 01:04:21,319 --> 01:04:23,238 I'm going to sleep on the window seat. 1077 01:04:23,864 --> 01:04:25,657 I'm going to sleep on the window seat from now on. 1078 01:04:25,740 --> 01:04:26,867 Mortimer. 1079 01:04:27,868 --> 01:04:29,411 Now look. Now look, Jonathan. 1080 01:04:30,078 --> 01:04:31,538 Now, be a good fellow. 1081 01:04:31,621 --> 01:04:34,249 Here's $10. Go out and haunt yourself a hotel. 1082 01:04:36,877 --> 01:04:40,755 Mortimer, you know what I do to people who order me around. 1083 01:04:41,381 --> 01:04:42,757 Hey, Johnny. 1084 01:04:44,092 --> 01:04:45,552 Johnny. Mr. Spenalzo. 1085 01:04:46,178 --> 01:04:47,304 What? 1086 01:04:47,387 --> 01:04:50,390 What's going to happen to Mr. Spenalzo? 1087 01:04:52,058 --> 01:04:54,936 We can't leave him here in the window seat. 1088 01:04:55,478 --> 01:04:56,813 Johnny. 1089 01:04:58,523 --> 01:05:03,987 Doctor? You know, Doctor, I've completely lost track of Mr. Spenalzo. 1090 01:05:04,070 --> 01:05:06,072 Wait! Who's this Mr. Spenalzo? 1091 01:05:06,156 --> 01:05:09,117 A friend of ours Johnny was looking for. 1092 01:05:09,201 --> 01:05:11,703 Don't bring anyone else in here. Now, come on, beat it! Both of you. 1093 01:05:11,786 --> 01:05:13,330 It's all right, Johnny. 1094 01:05:13,413 --> 01:05:15,749 While we are packing, I'll tell you about him. 1095 01:05:22,797 --> 01:05:25,800 I'll take care of you, Mortimer, in just a little while. 1096 01:05:27,010 --> 01:05:28,303 How do you like that? 1097 01:05:28,386 --> 01:05:29,554 The guy stays away for 20 years 1098 01:05:29,638 --> 01:05:31,389 and picks tonight out of all nights to come back. 1099 01:05:31,765 --> 01:05:33,725 Oh, hello, Elaine, what are you doing here? 1100 01:05:33,808 --> 01:05:34,851 Mortimer! 1101 01:05:34,935 --> 01:05:36,353 What's the matter, darling? What is it? 1102 01:05:36,436 --> 01:05:39,189 -I almost got killed. -Killed? 1103 01:05:40,315 --> 01:05:41,399 Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha! 1104 01:05:42,275 --> 01:05:45,362 -Oh, no! -Oh, no, no! It was Jonathan! 1105 01:05:45,445 --> 01:05:47,447 He mistook her for a sneak thief. 1106 01:05:47,531 --> 01:05:49,699 - Oh, that. - Oh, it was worse than that. 1107 01:05:49,783 --> 01:05:51,493 He's some kind of a maniac. 1108 01:05:51,576 --> 01:05:53,578 - I know, dear. - Mortimer, I'm afraid of him. 1109 01:05:53,662 --> 01:05:56,206 Darling, don't worry about it. I'm here now. Forget it. 1110 01:05:56,289 --> 01:05:59,751 We were married today, we were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, 1111 01:05:59,835 --> 01:06:02,754 your brother tries to strangle me, a taxi's waiting 1112 01:06:03,129 --> 01:06:05,590 and now you want to sleep on a window seat! 1113 01:06:05,674 --> 01:06:07,300 Window seat. Witherspoon. 1114 01:06:07,676 --> 01:06:09,928 -Darling, you'd better run along home. -What? 1115 01:06:10,011 --> 01:06:12,013 Yes, go on home like a good girl. I got things to do. 1116 01:06:12,097 --> 01:06:14,474 -Home? But... -Now, now, please, sweetie. 1117 01:06:14,558 --> 01:06:17,394 Hello, operator? Get me Happy Dale 270, please. 1118 01:06:17,477 --> 01:06:19,896 But, Mortimer, didn't you hear what I was just saying? 1119 01:06:19,980 --> 01:06:23,149 Your own brother, Jonathan, he was trying to strangle me! 1120 01:06:23,233 --> 01:06:25,152 -Please! This is important! -That? 1121 01:06:25,235 --> 01:06:28,613 Hello? Oh, hello, Mr. Witherspoon? This is Mortimer Brewster. 1122 01:06:28,697 --> 01:06:30,615 Yes, Mr. Brewster. Yes. 1123 01:06:31,491 --> 01:06:33,618 Well, I don't understand you. 1124 01:06:33,702 --> 01:06:35,162 He was going to kill me! 1125 01:06:35,245 --> 01:06:36,788 Wait a minute, darling, I can't hear the man. 1126 01:06:36,872 --> 01:06:39,166 Well, look. I've got the papers all drawn up. 1127 01:06:39,249 --> 01:06:41,001 I know it's late, but I want you to come down here 1128 01:06:41,084 --> 01:06:43,336 and get my brother immediately! It's got to be done. 1129 01:06:43,712 --> 01:06:44,963 Please, darling. Please. 1130 01:06:45,046 --> 01:06:49,009 By the way, you've had the papers signed by your brother and the doctor, of course? 1131 01:06:49,092 --> 01:06:50,427 Oh, the doctor? 1132 01:06:50,510 --> 01:06:53,180 Oh, holy mackerel! I forgot the doctor! 1133 01:06:53,263 --> 01:06:54,639 Mortimer! 1134 01:06:55,515 --> 01:06:58,643 Please, be quiet! Can't you see I've got to get a doctor? 1135 01:06:58,727 --> 01:07:00,854 Hello? What kind of a doctor? A family doctor? 1136 01:07:00,937 --> 01:07:02,898 You can take your honeymoon, your wedding ring, 1137 01:07:02,981 --> 01:07:04,149 your taxi, your window seat, 1138 01:07:04,232 --> 01:07:07,319 and put them in a barrel, and push them all over Niagara Falls! 1139 01:07:07,694 --> 01:07:09,112 Thank you, darling. Thank you. 1140 01:07:09,446 --> 01:07:11,740 Well, look. Why don't you come down here anyway? 1141 01:07:11,823 --> 01:07:12,866 While you're getting here, 1142 01:07:12,949 --> 01:07:14,993 I'll get Teddy's and the doctor's signatures, both. 1143 01:07:15,076 --> 01:07:17,120 Elaine! Elaine! 1144 01:07:17,204 --> 01:07:19,289 I'll get both signatures. Yeah, well, come right away. 1145 01:07:19,623 --> 01:07:21,917 Elaine! What's the matter with her? 1146 01:07:23,168 --> 01:07:24,127 Oh, dear. 1147 01:07:24,753 --> 01:07:26,087 Elaine! Elaine! 1148 01:07:28,590 --> 01:07:29,549 Elaine! 1149 01:07:33,303 --> 01:07:35,680 Let me sit down. Let me think about this thing. 1150 01:07:37,516 --> 01:07:39,601 Doctor, Teddy, signature. 1151 01:07:41,269 --> 01:07:42,646 Hoskins! 1152 01:08:00,956 --> 01:08:03,041 Ye gods! There's another one! 1153 01:08:04,501 --> 01:08:05,919 Aunt Abby! Aunt Martha! 1154 01:08:06,002 --> 01:08:08,171 - Come in here! - We're busy. 1155 01:08:08,255 --> 01:08:10,173 No, you come in here now! 1156 01:08:12,425 --> 01:08:14,594 Yes, dear, what is it? Where's Elaine? 1157 01:08:14,678 --> 01:08:15,720 Wait a minute. Didn't you promise me 1158 01:08:15,804 --> 01:08:17,472 not to let anyone in the house while I was gone? 1159 01:08:17,556 --> 01:08:19,766 -Well, Jonathan just walked in. -I don't mean Jonathan! 1160 01:08:19,850 --> 01:08:21,726 -And Dr. Einstein. -And I don't mean Dr. Einstein! 1161 01:08:21,810 --> 01:08:23,019 Who is that in the window seat? 1162 01:08:23,103 --> 01:08:24,729 We told you, Mr. Hoskins. 1163 01:08:24,813 --> 01:08:26,731 It is not Mr. Hoskins! 1164 01:08:28,233 --> 01:08:29,401 There! 1165 01:08:31,319 --> 01:08:32,737 Who can that be? 1166 01:08:35,282 --> 01:08:37,200 Are you trying to tell me you've never seen that man before? 1167 01:08:37,284 --> 01:08:38,785 I certainly am. 1168 01:08:38,869 --> 01:08:40,704 Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do! 1169 01:08:40,787 --> 01:08:43,248 It's getting so anybody thinks he can walk in this house! 1170 01:08:43,331 --> 01:08:44,541 Now, you look here, Aunt Abby. 1171 01:08:44,624 --> 01:08:45,750 Don't you try to get out of this! 1172 01:08:45,834 --> 01:08:47,419 That's another one of your gentlemen and you know it! 1173 01:08:47,502 --> 01:08:49,588 Mortimer, how can you say such a thing? 1174 01:08:49,963 --> 01:08:51,756 That man's an impostor. 1175 01:08:53,216 --> 01:08:56,761 And if he came here to be buried in our cellar, he's mistaken. 1176 01:08:57,512 --> 01:08:58,763 Now, look. 1177 01:08:58,847 --> 01:09:00,932 You admitted you put Mr. Hoskins in the window seat. 1178 01:09:01,016 --> 01:09:02,267 Yes, I did. 1179 01:09:02,350 --> 01:09:04,769 This man couldn't have just got the idea from Mr. Hoskins! 1180 01:09:05,187 --> 01:09:08,815 -By the way, where is Mr. Hoskins? -He must have gone to Panama. 1181 01:09:08,899 --> 01:09:10,775 -What? You buried him? -No, no. Not yet. 1182 01:09:10,859 --> 01:09:13,778 He's just down there waiting for the services, poor dear. 1183 01:09:13,862 --> 01:09:17,115 We haven't had a minute, what with Jonathan in the house. 1184 01:09:17,491 --> 01:09:18,533 Jonathan. 1185 01:09:19,576 --> 01:09:20,702 Oh, dear. 1186 01:09:20,785 --> 01:09:23,788 We've always wanted to hold a double funeral. 1187 01:09:24,456 --> 01:09:27,792 But I will not read services over a total stranger! 1188 01:09:29,252 --> 01:09:32,506 A total stranger. Aunt Abby, how can I believe you? 1189 01:09:32,923 --> 01:09:35,175 There are 12 men down in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them! 1190 01:09:35,258 --> 01:09:39,513 Yes, I did. But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib! 1191 01:09:40,096 --> 01:09:43,016 Martha! Martha, what do you think has happened? 1192 01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:44,809 A fib! 1193 01:09:51,817 --> 01:09:53,026 Ha. 1194 01:09:57,239 --> 01:09:59,366 Whoa-oh! 1195 01:09:59,449 --> 01:10:00,617 No, no, no, no. 1196 01:10:01,117 --> 01:10:05,288 This may interest you, Mortimer. I've decided that we're staying. 1197 01:10:05,372 --> 01:10:09,459 And I've also decided that you're leaving, and I mean now. 1198 01:10:10,126 --> 01:10:13,213 Listen, handsome. I'm in no mood to debate the question. 1199 01:10:13,296 --> 01:10:15,882 Are you getting out, or am I throwing you out on your ear? 1200 01:10:16,424 --> 01:10:19,052 I've led a strange life, Mortimer. 1201 01:10:19,135 --> 01:10:21,555 Martha, you come straight along here. 1202 01:10:21,638 --> 01:10:24,057 You just look and see what's in that window seat. 1203 01:10:24,140 --> 01:10:25,267 No! 1204 01:10:26,476 --> 01:10:28,061 No, no, Aunt Abby. Don't... 1205 01:10:49,374 --> 01:10:53,712 Jonathan, let Aunt Martha see what's in the window seat. 1206 01:10:58,175 --> 01:11:01,136 Aunt Abby, darling, I owe you an apology. 1207 01:11:01,219 --> 01:11:04,598 I've got some very good news for you. Jonathan is leaving. 1208 01:11:06,016 --> 01:11:09,853 And he's taking Dr. Einstein and that cold companion with him. 1209 01:11:15,692 --> 01:11:18,612 Listen, Jonathan. You're my brother, you're a Brewster. 1210 01:11:18,695 --> 01:11:21,907 So I'm giving you a chance to get away and take the evidence with you. 1211 01:11:21,990 --> 01:11:23,992 You can't ask for more than that. 1212 01:11:25,327 --> 01:11:26,453 Well? 1213 01:11:29,206 --> 01:11:31,750 All right, in that case, I'll have to call the police. 1214 01:11:34,461 --> 01:11:36,254 Don't reach for the telephone. 1215 01:11:36,796 --> 01:11:40,300 Remember, what happened to Mr. Spenalzo can happen to you, too. 1216 01:11:40,717 --> 01:11:42,135 Spenalzo? 1217 01:11:42,219 --> 01:11:44,137 I knew he was a foreigner. 1218 01:11:45,222 --> 01:11:48,058 Put down that telephone, Mortimer. 1219 01:11:50,227 --> 01:11:51,186 Oh. 1220 01:11:55,941 --> 01:11:57,692 -Hello. -Oh, Officer O'Hara! 1221 01:11:57,776 --> 01:12:00,237 I saw your lights on and thought you might have sickness in the house... 1222 01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:02,447 You got company? Oh, I'm sorry I disturbed you. 1223 01:12:02,531 --> 01:12:05,075 -No! Come in. -Yes, do come in. 1224 01:12:05,158 --> 01:12:08,203 Come right in, Officer O'Hara. This is our nephew, Mortimer. 1225 01:12:08,286 --> 01:12:10,163 -Pleased to meet you. -Glad to see you, fella. 1226 01:12:10,247 --> 01:12:12,165 And this is another nephew, Jonathan. 1227 01:12:12,707 --> 01:12:14,167 Pleased to make your acquaintance. 1228 01:12:14,251 --> 01:12:15,335 Say, your face is familiar. 1229 01:12:15,418 --> 01:12:17,295 Haven't I seen a picture of you somewhere before? 1230 01:12:17,379 --> 01:12:18,672 I don't think so. 1231 01:12:19,130 --> 01:12:21,174 -I'll be running along. -Oh, come on. What's the hurry? 1232 01:12:21,258 --> 01:12:22,759 Why don't you stick around until my brother leaves. 1233 01:12:22,843 --> 01:12:24,177 I got to ring in, Mr. Brew... 1234 01:12:24,261 --> 01:12:25,595 Say, you're not the Mortimer Brewster, 1235 01:12:25,679 --> 01:12:27,097 the book writer and the dramatic critic, are you? 1236 01:12:27,180 --> 01:12:28,306 Well, yes, why? 1237 01:12:28,390 --> 01:12:32,561 Oh, what a break for me! I'm a playwright. I'm working on a play now. 1238 01:12:32,644 --> 01:12:35,397 You are? Well, well, well! 1239 01:12:36,189 --> 01:12:39,317 -Maybe I can help you with it. -Oh, would you? What a break! 1240 01:12:39,401 --> 01:12:41,319 I get wonderful ideas, but I can't spell them. 1241 01:12:41,403 --> 01:12:44,364 I can spell like the dickens. Constantinople? 1242 01:12:44,447 --> 01:12:47,033 Well, come on! Let's go into the kitchen. You can tell me all about it. 1243 01:12:47,117 --> 01:12:49,202 Couldn't you whip up a sandwich for Officer O'Hara? 1244 01:12:49,286 --> 01:12:52,622 I hope you don't mind eating in the kitchen, Officer O'Hara. 1245 01:12:52,706 --> 01:12:54,291 And where else would you eat? 1246 01:12:56,084 --> 01:12:57,294 See you in a moment. 1247 01:12:59,588 --> 01:13:01,381 Now, listen, Jonathan. This is your last chance. 1248 01:13:01,464 --> 01:13:03,967 I'll keep O'Hara busy in the kitchen to give you a chance to get out. 1249 01:13:04,050 --> 01:13:06,011 All three of you, you, Dr. Einstein and Spenalzo. 1250 01:13:06,094 --> 01:13:07,179 Mortimer... 1251 01:13:07,262 --> 01:13:08,680 Because if you don't leave here in five minutes, 1252 01:13:08,763 --> 01:13:11,224 I'll bring in Officer O'Hara and introduce him to Mr. Spenalzo. 1253 01:13:11,308 --> 01:13:12,601 Mr. Brewster, my play takes place in... 1254 01:13:12,684 --> 01:13:14,811 I'll be right with you, O'Hara. Right with you. 1255 01:13:14,895 --> 01:13:17,439 Right with you. Just give me one moment. 1256 01:13:19,316 --> 01:13:20,692 Now get going! All three of you. 1257 01:13:31,411 --> 01:13:35,207 Doctor, this affair between my brother and myself has got to be settled. 1258 01:13:35,290 --> 01:13:38,960 But, Johnny, we've got trouble enough as it is. Come, let's go. 1259 01:13:39,044 --> 01:13:42,255 We're not going. We're going to sleep right here in this house. 1260 01:13:42,339 --> 01:13:46,343 What? With a cop in the kitchen and Spenalzo in the window seat? 1261 01:13:46,426 --> 01:13:50,180 That's all he's got on us. We'll take Spenalzo and dump him in the bay. 1262 01:13:50,263 --> 01:13:53,850 After that, we're coming back here. Then if he tries to interfere... 1263 01:13:53,934 --> 01:13:55,852 No, no, Johnny. No, please. 1264 01:13:55,936 --> 01:13:59,022 Doctor, we've got a wonderful setup here. We can make a fortune. 1265 01:13:59,105 --> 01:14:03,360 Two old ladies as a front. Only Mortimer stands in our way. 1266 01:14:04,110 --> 01:14:06,196 I never did like Mortimer. 1267 01:14:06,613 --> 01:14:08,990 No, Johnny. Please, take it easy. Please! 1268 01:14:09,074 --> 01:14:11,284 Doctor, you know when I make up my mind... 1269 01:14:11,368 --> 01:14:13,745 Yeah, I know, when you make up your mind, you lose your head. 1270 01:14:14,246 --> 01:14:16,540 Look, Johnny, Brooklyn ain't a good setup for you. 1271 01:14:18,375 --> 01:14:20,293 Okay, Johnny. Okay! 1272 01:14:22,963 --> 01:14:25,590 Take the instruments and hide them in the cellar. Move fast. 1273 01:14:27,592 --> 01:14:28,635 So, Mr. Brewster. 1274 01:14:28,718 --> 01:14:31,638 -You don't know what goes on in Brooklyn. -I don't know. 1275 01:14:32,305 --> 01:14:34,558 -My mother was an actress. -Legitimate? 1276 01:14:35,308 --> 01:14:36,852 Of course she was. She was my mother. 1277 01:14:36,935 --> 01:14:39,062 -Oh, excuse me... -Peaches La Tour was her name. 1278 01:14:39,896 --> 01:14:42,566 -Hey, Johnny. Johnny, come quick! -What's the matter? 1279 01:14:42,649 --> 01:14:44,943 - You know that hole in the cellar? - Yes. 1280 01:14:45,026 --> 01:14:46,778 Well, we got an ace in the hole. 1281 01:14:49,489 --> 01:14:52,659 This is no fly-by-night idea. I've been working on this thing for 12 years. 1282 01:14:52,993 --> 01:14:55,328 Oh, you have? Well, rehash it in your mind. I'll be back in a minute. 1283 01:14:55,412 --> 01:14:56,621 -All right. Swell. -I like the first act. 1284 01:14:57,038 --> 01:14:59,166 I didn't tell you the first... 1285 01:15:06,506 --> 01:15:08,550 Look, I thought I told you... 1286 01:15:10,010 --> 01:15:12,554 Jonathan. Jonathan. Jonathan! 1287 01:15:13,180 --> 01:15:14,472 Yes, Mortimer. 1288 01:15:17,350 --> 01:15:20,103 What are you two doing still here? I thought I told you to beat it. 1289 01:15:20,187 --> 01:15:21,188 We're not going. 1290 01:15:21,688 --> 01:15:22,856 -You're not going? -No. 1291 01:15:22,939 --> 01:15:24,858 -No. -You stay out of this. 1292 01:15:24,941 --> 01:15:26,151 All right, you asked for it. 1293 01:15:27,694 --> 01:15:29,196 - Officer O'Hara? - Coming. 1294 01:15:29,571 --> 01:15:32,616 Now, if you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, 1295 01:15:32,699 --> 01:15:34,618 I'll tell him what's down in the cellar. 1296 01:15:35,076 --> 01:15:36,119 Cellar? 1297 01:15:36,203 --> 01:15:39,789 There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead. 1298 01:15:41,625 --> 01:15:44,336 -What were you doing down the cellar? -What is he doing in the cellar? 1299 01:15:44,419 --> 01:15:46,338 Now what are you going to tell O'Hara? 1300 01:15:46,421 --> 01:15:49,132 Your aunts think my opening is swell. 1301 01:15:49,216 --> 01:15:50,634 -Shall I bring them in here? -No! No! No! 1302 01:15:50,717 --> 01:15:53,011 You can't do that. You can't do that now. Uh, you'd better ring in. 1303 01:15:53,094 --> 01:15:56,139 Oh, the heck with ringing in! You've got me rolling. I want to tell you the plot. 1304 01:15:56,223 --> 01:15:57,599 You can't tell me in front of those two fellas. 1305 01:15:57,682 --> 01:15:58,725 They won't appreciate it. 1306 01:15:58,808 --> 01:15:59,851 Oh. Lowbrows, huh? 1307 01:15:59,935 --> 01:16:02,812 Let's go some place where we can be alone. I'll meet you there later. 1308 01:16:02,896 --> 01:16:04,147 Okay. Say... 1309 01:16:04,231 --> 01:16:05,649 How about the backroom at Kelly's? 1310 01:16:05,732 --> 01:16:09,402 Kelly's? Oh, yeah. Fine place. Bohemian atmosphere. Genius at work. 1311 01:16:09,486 --> 01:16:11,404 -You ring in and I'll meet you at Kelly's. -All right, fine. 1312 01:16:11,488 --> 01:16:13,657 Why don't you both go down in the cellar? 1313 01:16:13,740 --> 01:16:15,659 -That's all right with me. -No! No! No! 1314 01:16:15,742 --> 01:16:18,245 There's a much more literary atmosphere in Kelly's, I assure you. 1315 01:16:18,328 --> 01:16:20,664 -Okay. This opening will kill you. -It will? 1316 01:16:20,747 --> 01:16:22,666 I'm waiting to be born, see, and the doctor gets there... 1317 01:16:22,749 --> 01:16:23,959 -Oh, the doctor! -Yeah. 1318 01:16:24,042 --> 01:16:26,878 -Look, you ring in and I'll see you later. -Okay. 1319 01:16:26,962 --> 01:16:28,296 -You won't stand me up, will you? -Yeah. 1320 01:16:28,380 --> 01:16:30,173 -No! -This is a great play. You'll like it. 1321 01:16:30,257 --> 01:16:32,175 -I'll see you down there. -Can't wait! I can't wait! 1322 01:16:32,259 --> 01:16:33,468 Doctor, doctor. 1323 01:16:33,552 --> 01:16:35,554 Where are those papers? Oh, there they are. 1324 01:16:36,972 --> 01:16:38,181 Oh, ho-ho. 1325 01:16:38,265 --> 01:16:40,934 You're smug, aren't you? You think you've got it over me. You haven't. 1326 01:16:41,685 --> 01:16:43,186 You think I'm afraid to the police about Spenalzo 1327 01:16:43,270 --> 01:16:45,146 because you'll blab about Hoskins. Well, I'm not! 1328 01:16:45,772 --> 01:16:46,898 The moment I get Spenalzo... 1329 01:16:46,982 --> 01:16:50,152 The moment the doctor signs, I don't care who knows about him, Hoskins, I mean. 1330 01:16:50,527 --> 01:16:53,363 And you better feel the same way about Spenalzo. Yes, Spenalzo! 1331 01:16:54,114 --> 01:16:56,158 - Where are you going? - To the doctor's. Where do you... 1332 01:16:57,159 --> 01:16:59,870 When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me! 1333 01:17:01,246 --> 01:17:02,330 We'll wait for him. 1334 01:17:03,790 --> 01:17:05,500 Did he look guilty! 1335 01:17:06,126 --> 01:17:09,045 Well, Martha, I think we can start the services now. 1336 01:17:09,713 --> 01:17:10,755 Oh... 1337 01:17:10,839 --> 01:17:12,340 We thought we heard you leave. 1338 01:17:12,716 --> 01:17:15,343 Perish the thought, dear aunties. That was just Mortimer. 1339 01:17:15,886 --> 01:17:17,804 And speaking of services, Aunt Martha, 1340 01:17:17,888 --> 01:17:21,349 will you make us some coffee while we take Mr. Spenalzo down to the cellar? 1341 01:17:21,433 --> 01:17:22,726 Oh, no! 1342 01:17:23,059 --> 01:17:25,729 No, Jonathan. You've got to take him with you! 1343 01:17:25,812 --> 01:17:28,899 There's a friend of Mortimer's downstairs waiting for him. 1344 01:17:29,316 --> 01:17:31,818 -A friend of Mortimer's? -Take his feet, Doctor. 1345 01:17:33,153 --> 01:17:36,031 Mr. Spenalzo and he will get along fine together. 1346 01:17:36,114 --> 01:17:37,073 They're both dead. 1347 01:17:37,491 --> 01:17:40,160 Oh. He must mean Mr. Hoskins. 1348 01:17:40,243 --> 01:17:41,620 Mr. Hoskins? 1349 01:17:46,958 --> 01:17:48,793 You know about what's down there? 1350 01:17:49,252 --> 01:17:52,756 Of course we do. And he's no friend of Mortimer's. 1351 01:17:52,839 --> 01:17:55,550 -He's one of our gentlemen. -Your gentlemen? 1352 01:17:55,634 --> 01:17:59,763 Yes. And we won't have any strangers buried in our cellar. 1353 01:17:59,846 --> 01:18:02,849 -But Mr. Hoskins... -Mr. Hoskins is no stranger. 1354 01:18:02,933 --> 01:18:05,644 Besides, there's no room for Mr. Spenalzo. 1355 01:18:05,727 --> 01:18:07,604 The cellar's crowded already. 1356 01:18:07,687 --> 01:18:09,147 Crowded? With what? 1357 01:18:09,231 --> 01:18:11,775 There are 12 graves down there now. 1358 01:18:18,281 --> 01:18:19,783 Twelve graves. 1359 01:18:19,866 --> 01:18:22,786 That leaves very little room and we're going to need it. 1360 01:18:23,495 --> 01:18:25,872 You mean that you and Aunt Martha have murdered 12... 1361 01:18:25,956 --> 01:18:29,501 Murdered? Certainly not. It's one of our charities. 1362 01:18:29,584 --> 01:18:32,337 Why, what we've been doing is a mercy. 1363 01:18:32,420 --> 01:18:35,715 So you just take your Mr. Spenalzo out of here. 1364 01:18:41,888 --> 01:18:43,431 You've done all that 1365 01:18:44,140 --> 01:18:48,436 right here in this house and buried them in the cellar? 1366 01:18:48,812 --> 01:18:51,356 That's wonderful, Johnny! 1367 01:18:52,732 --> 01:18:54,818 We've been chased all over the world, 1368 01:18:54,901 --> 01:18:59,072 they stay right here in Brooklyn, and they do just as good as you do. 1369 01:18:59,156 --> 01:19:01,366 - What? - Yeah. 1370 01:19:01,950 --> 01:19:04,452 You got 12, they got 12. 1371 01:19:04,536 --> 01:19:05,954 I've got 13. 1372 01:19:06,037 --> 01:19:09,332 -No, Johnny, 12. Don't brag. -Thirteen. 1373 01:19:09,416 --> 01:19:13,170 There's Mr. Spenalzo. Then the first one in London. 1374 01:19:13,253 --> 01:19:16,256 Two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, 1375 01:19:16,339 --> 01:19:19,176 two in San Francisco, one in Phoenix, Arizona. 1376 01:19:19,259 --> 01:19:20,385 Phoenix? 1377 01:19:20,468 --> 01:19:22,846 -The filling station. -Filling... Oh, yes. 1378 01:19:23,430 --> 01:19:26,141 Three in Chicago and one in South Bend. 1379 01:19:26,224 --> 01:19:27,517 That makes 13. 1380 01:19:27,601 --> 01:19:31,062 You cannot count the one in South Bend. He died of pneumonia. 1381 01:19:31,146 --> 01:19:33,607 He wouldn't have died of pneumonia if I hadn't shot him. 1382 01:19:33,690 --> 01:19:35,984 No, no, Johnny, you cannot count him. 1383 01:19:36,943 --> 01:19:39,404 You got 12, they got 12. 1384 01:19:39,488 --> 01:19:42,532 The old ladies is just as good as you are. 1385 01:19:45,785 --> 01:19:47,329 They are, are they? 1386 01:19:49,039 --> 01:19:50,957 Well, that's easily taken care of. 1387 01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:53,877 All I need is one more. 1388 01:19:54,211 --> 01:19:57,422 That's all. Just one more. 1389 01:19:58,715 --> 01:20:02,093 And I've a pretty good idea who it is. 1390 01:20:03,094 --> 01:20:06,139 I'm a lucky man to have caught you at home, Dr. Gilchrist. 1391 01:20:06,223 --> 01:20:07,390 This is most irregular. Most irregular. 1392 01:20:07,474 --> 01:20:11,811 Well, I'm sorry to have dragged you out of bed, but only you can help me. 1393 01:20:11,895 --> 01:20:16,107 I know Teddy blows bugles, but I can't commit a man to an institution on that. 1394 01:20:16,191 --> 01:20:17,609 If you'd only have another little talk with him, 1395 01:20:17,692 --> 01:20:19,528 I'm sure you'd be convinced. Now, here's the house. I... 1396 01:20:22,489 --> 01:20:24,407 -There goes Hoskins. -Who? 1397 01:20:24,491 --> 01:20:26,076 What? Did I say... 1398 01:20:28,787 --> 01:20:30,163 -You better wait. -Here? 1399 01:20:30,247 --> 01:20:31,498 Yes. I'll bring Teddy out. 1400 01:20:31,581 --> 01:20:34,709 I wouldn't want to alarm the old ladies, seeing a doctor and everything. 1401 01:20:34,793 --> 01:20:36,753 -You wait here. -In the cemetery? 1402 01:20:36,837 --> 01:20:38,046 It's Halloween. 1403 01:20:38,129 --> 01:20:39,214 Don't worry about Halloween. 1404 01:20:39,297 --> 01:20:41,174 The pixies won't be out till after midnight. 1405 01:20:41,258 --> 01:20:42,801 Now look, you wait here. Make yourself comfortable. 1406 01:20:42,884 --> 01:20:45,178 Pull up a tombstone. I'll be right back. 1407 01:20:45,262 --> 01:20:47,180 -Hey, $22.50! -What? 1408 01:20:47,264 --> 01:20:50,600 -$22.50! -Oh, yes, looks good on you! 1409 01:20:51,268 --> 01:20:52,978 Not the suit, the meter! 1410 01:20:54,437 --> 01:20:57,566 Looks good on me. $22.50. 1411 01:21:01,444 --> 01:21:04,823 -Did you give him a 21-gun salute? -Yes, with a Maxim silencer. 1412 01:21:04,906 --> 01:21:07,075 Hey, you! Five more bucks and you'll own it. 1413 01:21:07,159 --> 01:21:09,035 No, thanks. It wouldn't fit me. 1414 01:21:10,662 --> 01:21:14,374 -Mr. President, may I present... -Dr. Livingstone! 1415 01:21:14,457 --> 01:21:17,294 -Livingstone? -That's what he presumes. 1416 01:21:17,377 --> 01:21:20,505 Mr. President, the doctor would like to have a few words with you in private. 1417 01:21:20,589 --> 01:21:23,258 Certainly. Welcome to Washington, Doctor. 1418 01:21:23,675 --> 01:21:26,219 Arlington is beautiful at this time of year, is it not, Doctor? 1419 01:21:26,303 --> 01:21:27,888 Yes, indeed. 1420 01:21:33,310 --> 01:21:35,228 Well now, that's that. 1421 01:21:35,896 --> 01:21:37,522 It gives me a chance to rest. 1422 01:21:41,485 --> 01:21:43,153 So far, so good. 1423 01:21:45,989 --> 01:21:47,365 Not so good. 1424 01:21:53,330 --> 01:21:55,248 Do you or do you not love me? 1425 01:21:55,582 --> 01:21:57,167 Oh, Elaine. 1426 01:21:57,250 --> 01:22:01,004 Elaine, how can you say such a thing? Darling, of course I love you. 1427 01:22:01,087 --> 01:22:02,380 -Do you? -Yes, darling. 1428 01:22:02,464 --> 01:22:06,676 Then why have you been treating me the way you have? 1429 01:22:07,344 --> 01:22:09,387 -You've been... -Elaine, Elaine... 1430 01:22:09,471 --> 01:22:13,892 Darling, I love you so much, I can't go through with our marriage. 1431 01:22:16,102 --> 01:22:17,479 Have you suddenly gone crazy? 1432 01:22:17,562 --> 01:22:20,023 No, no, I don't think so, but it's only a matter of time. 1433 01:22:20,357 --> 01:22:24,069 Look, darling, you wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? 1434 01:22:24,152 --> 01:22:27,656 You wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. 1435 01:22:28,490 --> 01:22:31,785 -What are you talking about? -Well, I don't quite know. 1436 01:22:31,868 --> 01:22:34,955 I probably should have told you this before, but you see, 1437 01:22:35,372 --> 01:22:38,291 well, insanity runs in my family. 1438 01:22:39,960 --> 01:22:41,878 It practically gallops. 1439 01:22:42,629 --> 01:22:46,424 Oh, darling, just because Teddy's a little strange, that doesn't mean... 1440 01:22:46,508 --> 01:22:49,219 No, darling. It's way back before Teddy. 1441 01:22:49,302 --> 01:22:52,138 This goes back to the first Brewster who came over on the Mayflower. 1442 01:22:53,348 --> 01:22:56,768 You know how in those days the Indians used to scalp the settlers? 1443 01:22:56,852 --> 01:22:58,979 Well, he used to scalp the Indians. 1444 01:23:00,730 --> 01:23:02,691 Darling, that's ancient history. 1445 01:23:02,774 --> 01:23:06,403 Yes, Doctor, I'll run for a third term, but I won't be elected. 1446 01:23:06,486 --> 01:23:09,322 That'll mean the last of the Roosevelts in the White House. 1447 01:23:09,406 --> 01:23:12,951 -That's what you think. -Of course, if the country insists... 1448 01:23:13,034 --> 01:23:15,328 Oh, darling, all this doesn't prove a thing. 1449 01:23:15,412 --> 01:23:18,415 Look at your aunts. They're Brewsters, aren't they? 1450 01:23:18,498 --> 01:23:21,084 They're the sweetest, sanest people I've ever known. 1451 01:23:21,710 --> 01:23:26,256 Well, even they have their peculiarities. 1452 01:23:26,882 --> 01:23:29,885 What of it? So your family's crazy. So you're crazy. 1453 01:23:29,968 --> 01:23:32,220 That's the way I want you, that's the way I love you. 1454 01:23:32,304 --> 01:23:33,847 I'm crazy too, but kiss me. 1455 01:23:35,140 --> 01:23:36,600 No, no. I... 1456 01:23:38,268 --> 01:23:39,478 Oh... 1457 01:23:40,437 --> 01:23:43,899 Goodbye, Ambassador. I've enjoyed this little talk very much. 1458 01:23:43,982 --> 01:23:47,277 Any time you're in Washington, drop in to see me at the White House. 1459 01:23:52,240 --> 01:23:56,453 - Those papers. - Go away. Papers! 1460 01:23:56,536 --> 01:23:59,080 -I'll commit him to any place. -You will? 1461 01:23:59,164 --> 01:24:01,583 I've just been appointed Ambassador to Bolivia! 1462 01:24:01,666 --> 01:24:02,959 You see? Didn't I tell you? 1463 01:24:05,170 --> 01:24:07,255 Don't worry about that. Just go on signing the papers. 1464 01:24:07,672 --> 01:24:08,840 Oh, dear. 1465 01:24:08,924 --> 01:24:09,925 Thank you. 1466 01:24:11,885 --> 01:24:16,056 All right! All right! You'll find out whose house this is! 1467 01:24:16,139 --> 01:24:18,850 I'm warning you, you better stop it. 1468 01:24:18,934 --> 01:24:22,687 There's no use doing what you're doing. It'll just have to be undone. 1469 01:24:22,771 --> 01:24:24,189 Aunt Abby, go to bed! 1470 01:24:24,272 --> 01:24:28,109 It's a terrible thing to do, to bury a good Methodist with a foreigner. 1471 01:24:28,193 --> 01:24:30,195 Mortimer, where have you been? 1472 01:24:30,278 --> 01:24:32,864 Getting some papers signed. Is Teddy in his room? 1473 01:24:32,948 --> 01:24:34,866 Oh, Mortimer, what is the matter with you? 1474 01:24:34,950 --> 01:24:37,869 Running around getting papers signed at a time like this. 1475 01:24:37,953 --> 01:24:40,121 Martha and I are going for the police. 1476 01:24:40,205 --> 01:24:41,873 Police! 1477 01:24:41,957 --> 01:24:43,124 Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! 1478 01:24:43,208 --> 01:24:45,544 -You can't go for the police. -Oh, no? 1479 01:24:45,627 --> 01:24:47,796 -No. -You know what Jonathan's doing? 1480 01:24:47,879 --> 01:24:50,632 He's putting Mr. Hoskins and Mr. Spenalzo in together. 1481 01:24:50,715 --> 01:24:51,883 All right, let him. 1482 01:24:51,967 --> 01:24:54,386 This is all fixed up nice now. 1483 01:24:54,970 --> 01:24:57,264 Nice and smooth like a lake. 1484 01:24:57,889 --> 01:25:01,726 The President will be very proud of his Panama Canal. 1485 01:25:02,477 --> 01:25:05,897 Oh, Johnny, bed feels good already. 1486 01:25:05,981 --> 01:25:09,901 You know, we didn't get any sleep for 48 hours. 1487 01:25:09,985 --> 01:25:11,486 -You're forgetting, Doctor. -What? 1488 01:25:11,570 --> 01:25:12,904 -Now, Mortimer... -All right, all right. 1489 01:25:12,988 --> 01:25:16,408 If Jonathan and Mr. Spenalzo aren't out this house before morning, 1490 01:25:16,491 --> 01:25:18,076 we're going for the police. 1491 01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:20,078 I'll get them out, I promise you that! 1492 01:25:20,162 --> 01:25:23,832 -Then you get the wedding silver. -Remember, no police! No police! 1493 01:25:23,915 --> 01:25:26,501 All right, fine. Look, go to bed, will you? 1494 01:25:26,585 --> 01:25:28,295 For heaven's sakes, get out of those clothes! 1495 01:25:28,378 --> 01:25:30,005 You two look like a double blackout. 1496 01:25:30,839 --> 01:25:32,382 My brother, Mortimer. 1497 01:25:33,550 --> 01:25:35,510 I just heard him upstairs. 1498 01:25:35,594 --> 01:25:38,096 No, no, no! I am tired. 1499 01:25:38,638 --> 01:25:42,726 You forget, I got to operate on your face tomorrow. 1500 01:25:43,268 --> 01:25:46,146 You are going to operate tomorrow, Doctor. 1501 01:25:46,229 --> 01:25:49,065 But tonight we are taking care of Mortimer. 1502 01:25:49,149 --> 01:25:52,152 But Johnny, not tonight! I'm sleepy. 1503 01:25:52,235 --> 01:25:54,738 We'll do it tomorrow. Or the next day. 1504 01:25:55,113 --> 01:25:56,948 Look at me, Doctor. 1505 01:25:58,033 --> 01:26:01,286 You can see that it's got to be done, can't you? 1506 01:26:02,204 --> 01:26:05,540 Yeah, I know that look. 1507 01:26:06,041 --> 01:26:09,252 It's a little late to dissolve our partnership. 1508 01:26:09,794 --> 01:26:12,297 Okay, okay, Johnny. Okay, we'll do it. 1509 01:26:12,380 --> 01:26:15,967 But the quick way, huh? The quick twist like in London. 1510 01:26:16,051 --> 01:26:20,597 No, Doctor. I think this calls for something special. 1511 01:26:20,680 --> 01:26:23,266 I think, perhaps, the Melbourne method. 1512 01:26:24,559 --> 01:26:26,978 Not the Melbourne method, please! 1513 01:26:27,479 --> 01:26:28,730 Two hours! 1514 01:26:29,564 --> 01:26:31,983 And then when it was all over, what? 1515 01:26:32,067 --> 01:26:35,529 The fellow in London was just as dead as the fellow in Melbourne. 1516 01:26:37,823 --> 01:26:39,449 No, no, no, don't do that, Mr. President. 1517 01:26:39,533 --> 01:26:42,494 But I cannot sign any proclamation without consulting my cabinet. 1518 01:26:42,577 --> 01:26:43,995 This must be secret. 1519 01:26:44,079 --> 01:26:46,665 A secret proclamation? How unusual. 1520 01:26:46,748 --> 01:26:49,501 Yes, it's the only way we can outsmart the other fellow. 1521 01:26:49,918 --> 01:26:52,003 -Who's the other fellow? -That's the secret. 1522 01:26:52,087 --> 01:26:53,880 Oh, I see! 1523 01:26:54,631 --> 01:26:56,007 Very clever. 1524 01:26:56,091 --> 01:26:59,010 Well, if it's a secret proclamation, it has to be signed in secret. 1525 01:26:59,094 --> 01:27:02,055 -Of course, Mr. President. -I'll have to put on my signing clothes. 1526 01:27:02,138 --> 01:27:04,015 You already have them on, Mr. President. 1527 01:27:04,391 --> 01:27:06,935 So I have. Wait here. 1528 01:27:10,272 --> 01:27:12,274 Hey, Mr. Brewster. 1529 01:27:12,357 --> 01:27:13,775 What is it, mice? 1530 01:27:17,195 --> 01:27:18,947 -You get out of this house. -Can't you see I'm busy? 1531 01:27:29,332 --> 01:27:30,709 Thank you, Mr. President. 1532 01:27:31,293 --> 01:27:34,171 What a load off my mind. Boy, could I use a drink! 1533 01:27:34,504 --> 01:27:38,383 -Get out of here, will you, please? -What? Speak up. I can't hear you. 1534 01:27:38,466 --> 01:27:40,635 Johnny's in a bad mood. Get out! 1535 01:27:40,719 --> 01:27:43,889 -Stop underplaying. I can't hear you. -Please listen to me. Get out. 1536 01:27:43,972 --> 01:27:47,893 Stop all this! What are you doing? Look, Doc... Are you really a doctor? 1537 01:27:47,976 --> 01:27:49,728 Yes, Heidelberg, 1919. 1538 01:27:50,312 --> 01:27:52,397 Heidelberg? How'd you hook up with Jonathan? 1539 01:27:52,481 --> 01:27:56,276 I tell you later about that, but you go now. Please, listen to me. 1540 01:27:57,694 --> 01:27:58,987 Stop it, Doctor! Now, stop it! 1541 01:27:59,070 --> 01:28:01,948 You get out of here! Look, when Johnny's in that mood, 1542 01:28:02,032 --> 01:28:04,367 he's a madman. He's a maniac! 1543 01:28:04,451 --> 01:28:07,662 And then things happen. Horrible things. 1544 01:28:08,121 --> 01:28:10,248 -You get out of here! -Will you stop it? 1545 01:28:10,332 --> 01:28:12,375 Stop telling me about Jonathan, I'll take care of him. 1546 01:28:12,459 --> 01:28:15,253 You take care of yourself. Get going, little fellow. 1547 01:28:15,879 --> 01:28:18,298 -What's that? Wait. -Oh, no, my schnapps. 1548 01:28:18,381 --> 01:28:20,550 -I could use that. -That's mine. 1549 01:28:20,634 --> 01:28:23,845 Ah-ah-ah! Please. Only for dramatic critics. 1550 01:28:24,304 --> 01:28:27,182 Now, look, you beat it before things start popping around here. 1551 01:28:27,265 --> 01:28:29,434 But, look, Mr. Brewster, please. 1552 01:28:29,518 --> 01:28:31,061 You've just been married. 1553 01:28:31,144 --> 01:28:34,731 You have a nice little wife waiting for you. Please go now. 1554 01:28:34,815 --> 01:28:35,899 Please. 1555 01:28:40,362 --> 01:28:43,114 Don't those plays you see all the time teach you anything? 1556 01:28:43,198 --> 01:28:47,369 Don't get me on the subject of plays! I've got to wait for Mr. Witherspoon. 1557 01:28:47,452 --> 01:28:49,955 At least people in plays act like they got sense. 1558 01:28:50,038 --> 01:28:53,124 Did anybody in a play ever act like they got intelligence? 1559 01:28:53,208 --> 01:28:55,252 -How can somebody be so stupid? -You ought to have my job. 1560 01:28:55,335 --> 01:28:56,378 Listen to me brother, 1561 01:28:56,461 --> 01:28:59,923 when you get out of prison, have yourself wheeled to the Garrick Theater. 1562 01:29:00,006 --> 01:29:04,302 There's a play that's so bad, it'll still be running when you get out. 1563 01:29:04,386 --> 01:29:06,179 There's a man... Now listen to this. 1564 01:29:06,263 --> 01:29:09,516 He knows he's in the house with murderers and should know he's in danger. 1565 01:29:09,599 --> 01:29:11,893 He's even been warned to get out. And does he go? 1566 01:29:11,977 --> 01:29:14,062 -Yes. -No, he doesn't. He stays! 1567 01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:18,525 This fellow doesn't even have sense to be scared or to be on his guard. 1568 01:29:19,401 --> 01:29:21,319 The murderer even invites him to sit down. 1569 01:29:21,403 --> 01:29:23,321 -What do you think he does? -I don't know. 1570 01:29:23,405 --> 01:29:24,865 He sits down! 1571 01:29:25,407 --> 01:29:28,660 He deliberately pulls up a chair and he sits down in it. 1572 01:29:28,743 --> 01:29:31,079 Isn't that great? 1573 01:29:31,163 --> 01:29:33,623 So there he is, all waiting to be trussed up and gagged. 1574 01:29:35,250 --> 01:29:39,337 What do you think they tied him up with? The curtain cord. 1575 01:29:40,130 --> 01:29:41,339 Curtain cord? 1576 01:29:42,090 --> 01:29:43,592 But didn't he see him get it? 1577 01:29:43,675 --> 01:29:44,718 See him get it? 1578 01:29:44,801 --> 01:29:47,262 No. The silly chump sits down with his back toward the murderer. 1579 01:29:47,345 --> 01:29:50,640 All he has to do is look around, but does he? No! 1580 01:29:51,975 --> 01:29:55,353 See, brother Heidelberg, in a play, or even in a movie for that matter, 1581 01:29:55,729 --> 01:29:59,774 a fellow never sees or hears anything. That's right. 1582 01:29:59,858 --> 01:30:01,359 But what does he do? 1583 01:30:02,194 --> 01:30:05,113 The big chump sits there. This fellow's supposed to be bright. 1584 01:30:05,197 --> 01:30:07,574 Now get a load of this. Look at the attitude. 1585 01:30:08,700 --> 01:30:12,370 Large as life! He sits there waiting to be tied up and gagged. 1586 01:30:13,413 --> 01:30:14,456 The big dope! 1587 01:30:23,798 --> 01:30:25,383 You were right about that fellow. 1588 01:30:25,467 --> 01:30:27,219 He wasn't very bright. 1589 01:30:28,803 --> 01:30:30,347 Yes, Mortimer. 1590 01:30:31,473 --> 01:30:33,725 I've been away for 20 years. 1591 01:30:34,476 --> 01:30:37,771 But never, my dear brother, were you out of my mind. 1592 01:30:40,023 --> 01:30:43,193 In Melbourne one night, I dreamt of you. 1593 01:31:06,174 --> 01:31:10,428 The more you struggle, Mortimer, the more you strangle yourself. 1594 01:31:12,848 --> 01:31:15,976 Later on, you may consider that a blessing. 1595 01:31:49,050 --> 01:31:50,343 Now, Doctor... 1596 01:31:52,053 --> 01:31:53,471 We go to work. 1597 01:31:54,222 --> 01:31:56,475 Johnny, for me, please, the quick way. Please. 1598 01:31:56,558 --> 01:32:00,479 -This must be an artistic achievement. -Please. 1599 01:32:00,562 --> 01:32:04,399 After all, we're performing before a very distinguished critic. 1600 01:32:04,816 --> 01:32:06,568 -Johnny, please! -Doctor! 1601 01:32:07,319 --> 01:32:10,530 All right. Let's get it over with. 1602 01:32:11,490 --> 01:32:15,160 Oh, but Johnny, I cannot see this without the drink. 1603 01:32:16,203 --> 01:32:17,746 Pull yourself together, Doctor. 1604 01:32:17,829 --> 01:32:21,374 But I can't pull myself together without a drink. 1605 01:32:21,750 --> 01:32:24,836 You remember when we came in, there was some wine. 1606 01:32:24,920 --> 01:32:27,881 And then they took it. Where did they put it? 1607 01:32:27,964 --> 01:32:30,884 Johnny, I found some wine. 1608 01:32:31,259 --> 01:32:35,055 I found some wine. Here, I'll split it with you. 1609 01:32:35,138 --> 01:32:38,058 We both have a drink before we operate. 1610 01:32:38,141 --> 01:32:42,646 I am so happy that we don't have to operate without a drink. 1611 01:32:47,859 --> 01:32:51,029 Doctor, one moment, please. 1612 01:32:51,696 --> 01:32:53,323 Where are your manners? 1613 01:32:56,243 --> 01:32:57,786 Yes, Mortimer. 1614 01:32:57,869 --> 01:33:02,374 I realize now that it was you who brought me back to Brooklyn. 1615 01:33:02,457 --> 01:33:03,917 We drink to you. 1616 01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:07,462 Doctor, to my dear, dead brother. 1617 01:33:11,883 --> 01:33:12,843 Prosit... 1618 01:33:21,810 --> 01:33:23,270 Mmph! 1619 01:33:24,354 --> 01:33:26,106 That idiot! 1620 01:33:26,189 --> 01:33:29,943 -He goes next. That's all. He goes next! -Not Teddy! Please! 1621 01:33:30,026 --> 01:33:32,445 -We'll get to him later. -No, Teddy, we won't get to him at all! 1622 01:33:32,529 --> 01:33:34,823 We have to work fast. The quick way. 1623 01:33:34,906 --> 01:33:36,449 The quick way, yes! 1624 01:33:36,533 --> 01:33:39,870 If it has to be, then the quick way. I'll help you. 1625 01:33:54,551 --> 01:33:56,511 Hey, the colonel has to quit blowing that horn. 1626 01:33:56,595 --> 01:33:59,848 It's all right, officer. We're taking the bugle away from him. 1627 01:33:59,931 --> 01:34:03,268 I'd better talk to him myself. Where's the lights? 1628 01:34:08,023 --> 01:34:09,191 Hey... 1629 01:34:09,566 --> 01:34:10,984 You stood me up! 1630 01:34:11,902 --> 01:34:14,488 I've been waiting for you for over an hour at Kelly's. 1631 01:34:15,989 --> 01:34:17,991 -What happened to him? -Nothing. 1632 01:34:18,074 --> 01:34:23,705 He was explaining a play he saw and that's what happened to a man in the play. 1633 01:34:23,788 --> 01:34:25,540 Oh, I see. 1634 01:34:25,624 --> 01:34:28,084 Did that really happen in a play you saw? 1635 01:34:28,168 --> 01:34:30,504 How do you like that? You can't trust nobody. 1636 01:34:30,587 --> 01:34:33,465 They practically stole that from the second act in my play. 1637 01:34:33,548 --> 01:34:36,468 In the second act, just... Maybe I'd better start at the beginning. 1638 01:34:39,179 --> 01:34:40,639 Yeah, sure. 1639 01:34:43,934 --> 01:34:45,060 No. 1640 01:34:46,645 --> 01:34:49,022 You've got to hear the plot! 1641 01:34:52,526 --> 01:34:56,530 My mother's sitting there, making up. Like a flash, out of a clear sky, 1642 01:34:56,613 --> 01:34:59,199 the door opens and a man with a mustache comes in. 1643 01:34:59,282 --> 01:35:02,911 He says, Miss Peaches La Tour, will you marry me? 1644 01:35:04,037 --> 01:35:07,541 That's the first scene. My mother doesn't say they're married. That's the surprise! 1645 01:35:08,959 --> 01:35:10,293 What a kick! 1646 01:35:10,377 --> 01:35:14,422 Twenty-five years pass. Well, in the meantime, there's me. 1647 01:35:14,506 --> 01:35:18,051 Grown into a magnificent specimen. So what do I do? 1648 01:35:18,134 --> 01:35:20,762 I join the police force and become one of New York's finest. 1649 01:35:20,846 --> 01:35:24,766 Well, I'm cleaning out a crooked laundry, see? Little do I know it, 1650 01:35:24,850 --> 01:35:28,019 but there's a dope fiend with a long knife trailing after me. 1651 01:35:28,103 --> 01:35:29,938 -I'm in great danger. -Mmph! 1652 01:35:30,856 --> 01:35:33,275 It's getting you, ain't it? I can see it in your eyes. 1653 01:35:35,152 --> 01:35:37,320 Well, you ain't heard nothing yet. 1654 01:35:37,404 --> 01:35:40,198 All of a sudden, a fire breaks out. What an effect! 1655 01:35:40,282 --> 01:35:42,701 The firemen rush in and who's leading them? 1656 01:35:43,410 --> 01:35:45,370 Mayor Fiorello La Guardia! 1657 01:35:48,165 --> 01:35:49,624 What's the matter with him? 1658 01:35:49,708 --> 01:35:52,252 -Probably your play put him to sleep. -What? 1659 01:35:52,669 --> 01:35:56,089 -I personally like it very much. -It's probably over his head. 1660 01:35:57,174 --> 01:36:00,093 -Where have I seen that face before? -No, please. 1661 01:36:02,220 --> 01:36:05,557 The scene changes. It's an evolving stage. 1662 01:36:05,640 --> 01:36:07,809 I'm walking along my beat, casual-like, 1663 01:36:07,893 --> 01:36:10,896 when a guy that I'm following, it turns out he's following me! 1664 01:36:12,272 --> 01:36:15,108 Don't let nobody in. I figures I'll outsmart him. 1665 01:36:15,192 --> 01:36:18,653 -There's a vacant house on the corner. -Johnny, the cops! 1666 01:36:18,737 --> 01:36:20,113 I sees the door handle turn, 1667 01:36:20,197 --> 01:36:21,531 so I pulls out my gun, 1668 01:36:21,615 --> 01:36:23,617 braces myself against the wall and I says... 1669 01:36:23,700 --> 01:36:25,118 Come in! 1670 01:36:28,580 --> 01:36:30,123 Oh, hello, boys. 1671 01:36:31,082 --> 01:36:35,045 -What the Sam Hill's going on? -Sarge, this is Mortimer Brewster. 1672 01:36:35,128 --> 01:36:38,256 -He's going to help me write my play. -Do you have to tie him up? 1673 01:36:38,340 --> 01:36:40,175 Well, Harry, you better report into the station. 1674 01:36:40,258 --> 01:36:42,469 Why didn't you ring in? The whole force is out looking for you. 1675 01:36:42,552 --> 01:36:45,722 Right in the middle of the second act. Did they send you guys here for me? 1676 01:36:45,806 --> 01:36:47,641 No, we came to warn the old ladies. 1677 01:36:48,725 --> 01:36:50,769 -The colonel blew that bugle again. -I heard him. 1678 01:36:50,852 --> 01:36:53,772 The neighbors are phoning in. The Lieutenant's on the warpath. 1679 01:36:53,855 --> 01:36:56,149 He says we've got to put him away someplace. 1680 01:36:56,650 --> 01:36:58,151 Now, who the heck is this? 1681 01:36:58,235 --> 01:37:00,821 Mr. Brewster's brother. My play put him to sleep. 1682 01:37:01,154 --> 01:37:03,698 That's the one that ran away. So he came back. 1683 01:37:04,241 --> 01:37:05,700 Brophy. Get me Mac. 1684 01:37:06,243 --> 01:37:09,788 Have you got yourself in a mess! You're two hours overdue at the station. 1685 01:37:09,871 --> 01:37:11,915 I better let them know that I found you. 1686 01:37:12,249 --> 01:37:13,708 It wasn't that bad, was it? 1687 01:37:13,792 --> 01:37:14,751 Mac? 1688 01:37:15,418 --> 01:37:19,047 Tell the Lieutenant he can call off the big manhunt. We found him. 1689 01:37:19,714 --> 01:37:21,258 At the Brewster house. 1690 01:37:22,467 --> 01:37:23,844 Shall we bring him in? 1691 01:37:24,970 --> 01:37:27,180 All right, we'll hold him right here. 1692 01:37:28,807 --> 01:37:31,017 The Lieutenant is on his way over. 1693 01:37:32,269 --> 01:37:33,687 So I've been turned in? 1694 01:37:34,938 --> 01:37:37,107 All right, you've got me. 1695 01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:42,237 I suppose you and my stool- pigeon brother will split the reward. 1696 01:37:42,320 --> 01:37:43,989 - Reward? - Yes, reward! 1697 01:37:44,072 --> 01:37:45,949 Now I'll do some turning in! 1698 01:37:46,032 --> 01:37:48,201 Wait a minute, Mr. Brewster. 1699 01:37:48,285 --> 01:37:51,371 You think my aunts are sweet, charming old ladies, don't you? 1700 01:37:51,454 --> 01:37:54,166 Well, there's 13 bodies buried in the cellar! 1701 01:37:54,249 --> 01:37:56,334 Yes, 13. 1702 01:37:56,418 --> 01:37:59,504 Be careful what you say about your aunts, they're friends of ours. 1703 01:37:59,588 --> 01:38:01,798 -I'll show them to you. -Don't make trouble for them! 1704 01:38:02,716 --> 01:38:04,050 Never mind, Mr. Brewster. Leave him to me. 1705 01:38:05,135 --> 01:38:07,554 -Come down to the cellar. -Wait a minute. Now, wait a minute. 1706 01:38:07,637 --> 01:38:09,890 Thirteen bodies. I'll show you where they're buried. 1707 01:38:09,973 --> 01:38:11,099 Oh, yeah? 1708 01:38:11,183 --> 01:38:13,685 -Go to the cellar with him. -Yes, come to the cellar. 1709 01:38:13,768 --> 01:38:15,228 Well, look, do I have to? 1710 01:38:15,812 --> 01:38:18,732 Maybe I don't want to go down to the cellar. 1711 01:38:18,815 --> 01:38:21,109 Go on down the cellar with him! 1712 01:38:21,193 --> 01:38:23,862 Now, please. I'll tell you the rest of my play later. 1713 01:38:24,863 --> 01:38:27,782 -Go on down the cellar with him. -Do I have to? 1714 01:38:27,866 --> 01:38:30,160 Look at that puss. He looks like Boris Karloff. 1715 01:38:30,243 --> 01:38:32,120 -Argh! -Don't! Sarge! 1716 01:38:38,668 --> 01:38:39,878 Look out, Pat! 1717 01:38:45,342 --> 01:38:47,260 -Look out! -He's got a gun. 1718 01:38:47,928 --> 01:38:50,138 I got him, Pat. Look out! 1719 01:38:50,597 --> 01:38:52,682 Fight. Go on and fight. 1720 01:38:57,354 --> 01:39:00,190 That's enough, that's enough. Everybody off. 1721 01:39:03,026 --> 01:39:04,694 - Tsk, tsk, tsk. - Pat, look out! 1722 01:39:04,778 --> 01:39:05,779 Amazing. 1723 01:39:11,868 --> 01:39:13,161 Such a fine day, too. 1724 01:39:14,454 --> 01:39:17,999 All I did was cross the bridge and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing. 1725 01:39:23,004 --> 01:39:24,256 No, don't... 1726 01:39:24,339 --> 01:39:25,465 Don't bother me now. 1727 01:39:25,549 --> 01:39:28,051 You could use this in the third act. 1728 01:39:28,134 --> 01:39:29,845 I got something better. Let me tell you... 1729 01:39:31,304 --> 01:39:32,639 I'll see you later. 1730 01:39:33,807 --> 01:39:34,766 Oh! 1731 01:39:36,101 --> 01:39:39,229 I got the papers signed. The papers are all signed. What do I care? 1732 01:39:39,604 --> 01:39:41,148 Go ahead, fight. 1733 01:39:47,863 --> 01:39:50,407 I'd better call and see if Witherspoon has left. 1734 01:39:51,658 --> 01:39:52,659 Telephone. 1735 01:39:53,827 --> 01:39:55,537 I'll get every one of you! 1736 01:39:55,620 --> 01:39:58,748 I hate cops. I'll brain the first one that comes near me! 1737 01:39:58,832 --> 01:40:01,168 A little higher, please, brother. Thank you very much. That's fine. 1738 01:40:01,626 --> 01:40:03,545 -Oh! -Don't do that, please. 1739 01:40:04,129 --> 01:40:05,547 Get him, Pat. 1740 01:40:06,047 --> 01:40:08,592 That won't have any effect. I've tried it before... 1741 01:40:08,675 --> 01:40:10,051 It did. Isn't that amazing? 1742 01:40:12,512 --> 01:40:15,140 Oh, dear. Wish I could relax like that. 1743 01:40:17,142 --> 01:40:18,643 -Witherspoon. -Come in. 1744 01:40:33,408 --> 01:40:35,327 - What has occurred? - Well... 1745 01:40:35,410 --> 01:40:37,704 Never mind! Didn't I tell you I'd handle this? 1746 01:40:38,163 --> 01:40:39,498 Well, Lieutenant! 1747 01:40:39,581 --> 01:40:42,792 -We were just acting in self-defense. -What happened? He put up a fight? 1748 01:40:43,210 --> 01:40:45,086 This isn't the one that blows the bugle. 1749 01:40:45,670 --> 01:40:47,714 This is his brother. He tried to kill O'Hara. 1750 01:40:47,797 --> 01:40:49,841 All I said was he looked like Boris Karloff. 1751 01:40:49,925 --> 01:40:52,177 Boris... Turn him over. 1752 01:40:56,181 --> 01:40:58,308 Kind of think he's wanted somewhere. 1753 01:40:58,850 --> 01:41:01,603 Oh, you kind of think he's wanted somewhere? 1754 01:41:01,686 --> 01:41:05,106 If you guys can't look at the circulars we put up in the station, 1755 01:41:05,190 --> 01:41:07,609 you can at least read short detective stories. 1756 01:41:07,692 --> 01:41:09,653 Certainly, he's wanted. In Indiana! 1757 01:41:09,736 --> 01:41:12,656 He escaped from the prison for criminally insane. He's a lifer. 1758 01:41:13,448 --> 01:41:14,658 That's my brother. 1759 01:41:14,741 --> 01:41:18,620 That's the way they described him. He looked like Karloff. 1760 01:41:19,246 --> 01:41:20,622 Why'd you knock him out? 1761 01:41:20,705 --> 01:41:23,875 He tried to get us to go to the cellar. He says 13 bodies buried down there. 1762 01:41:23,959 --> 01:41:25,710 Thirteen bodies in the cellar, 1763 01:41:25,794 --> 01:41:28,171 and that don't tip you off the guy's from a nuthouse? 1764 01:41:29,172 --> 01:41:30,298 Thanks, pal. 1765 01:41:30,382 --> 01:41:32,133 About my not ringing in, I want to... 1766 01:41:32,217 --> 01:41:34,761 Where have you been all night? Don't tell me. 1767 01:41:34,845 --> 01:41:37,514 I was right here writing a play with Mortimer Brewster. 1768 01:41:37,597 --> 01:41:38,640 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1769 01:41:38,723 --> 01:41:41,643 Well, you're going to have a long time on that play. 1770 01:41:41,726 --> 01:41:42,686 You're suspended. 1771 01:41:43,228 --> 01:41:44,813 Now go on. Report in. 1772 01:41:44,896 --> 01:41:47,649 Bring him to and find out where his accomplice is. 1773 01:41:47,732 --> 01:41:49,818 -What is the meaning of this commotion? -The guy who helped him escape. 1774 01:41:49,901 --> 01:41:51,653 -He's wanted, too. -Here. 1775 01:41:52,028 --> 01:41:55,115 I've been after these guys for 48 hours. Nothing to eat. No sleep. 1776 01:41:55,615 --> 01:41:57,409 No wonder Brooklyn's in the shape it's in. 1777 01:41:57,492 --> 01:42:01,079 With flatheads like you on the force. Falling for a story like that! 1778 01:42:01,163 --> 01:42:03,498 Thirteen bodies buried in the cellar. 1779 01:42:03,582 --> 01:42:05,667 But there are 13 bodies in the cellar! 1780 01:42:07,002 --> 01:42:09,713 -Who are you? -I'm President Roosevelt. 1781 01:42:11,381 --> 01:42:15,260 -What the blazes is this? -He's the guy that blows the bugle. 1782 01:42:15,343 --> 01:42:16,887 -Howdy, Colonel. -Oh. 1783 01:42:20,515 --> 01:42:24,269 Colonel, you've blown your last bugle. Get this guy out of here. 1784 01:42:24,352 --> 01:42:27,230 -Dear me! Another yellow-fever victim? -What? 1785 01:42:27,314 --> 01:42:29,608 All the bodies in the cellar are yellow-fever victims. 1786 01:42:29,691 --> 01:42:33,403 No, Colonel. This is a spy. We caught him at the White House. 1787 01:42:33,487 --> 01:42:35,906 Take him out and bring him to. I want to question him. 1788 01:42:35,989 --> 01:42:40,035 -Questioning of spies is my department. -Hey, you, keep out of that. 1789 01:42:40,118 --> 01:42:43,955 You're forgetting that as President I am also head of the Secret Service. 1790 01:42:54,508 --> 01:42:55,717 Who are you? 1791 01:42:56,051 --> 01:42:57,135 What's your name? 1792 01:42:57,594 --> 01:43:00,430 Usually, I'm Mortimer Brewster. But I'm not quite myself today. 1793 01:43:00,514 --> 01:43:04,017 You're his brother. Look, no argument. He's got to be put away. 1794 01:43:04,768 --> 01:43:09,314 No arguments, Captain. No arguments. Just a minute, take it easy. Read this. 1795 01:43:09,397 --> 01:43:11,399 Teddy's going to go to Happy Dale tonight. 1796 01:43:11,483 --> 01:43:14,945 -I'm waiting for Mr. Witherspoon. -As long as he's going someplace. 1797 01:43:15,028 --> 01:43:17,155 He's scaring the neighbors with that bugle. 1798 01:43:17,239 --> 01:43:20,450 And that cockeyed story about 13 bodies being... 1799 01:43:29,167 --> 01:43:32,963 I've been without sleep for 48 hours. I'm liable to think anything. 1800 01:43:33,046 --> 01:43:34,965 I know just how you feel. 1801 01:43:35,048 --> 01:43:37,175 There's people dumb enough to believe that. 1802 01:43:37,259 --> 01:43:40,512 Last year there was a crazy guy, started a murder rumor. 1803 01:43:40,595 --> 01:43:42,931 I had to dig up a half acre lot before I could prove... 1804 01:43:43,557 --> 01:43:45,308 -What's this? -What's the matter? 1805 01:43:45,392 --> 01:43:47,060 -These papers aren't any good. -Why not? 1806 01:43:47,144 --> 01:43:49,229 He signed it Theodore Roosevelt! 1807 01:43:55,026 --> 01:43:58,321 -Is your taxi engaged? -Losing dough every minute. Any offers? 1808 01:43:58,405 --> 01:44:02,576 I'm Mr. Witherspoon of Happy Dale Sanitarium, I have come to get a Brewster. 1809 01:44:02,659 --> 01:44:05,328 I would like you to drive us back to the sanitarium. 1810 01:44:07,080 --> 01:44:09,666 I knew this would end up in a nuthouse! 1811 01:44:11,126 --> 01:44:14,087 We like to think of it as a rest home. 1812 01:44:25,557 --> 01:44:26,558 Mr. Brewster? 1813 01:44:27,142 --> 01:44:28,185 Mr. Brewster. 1814 01:44:30,604 --> 01:44:32,272 Mr. Witherspoon is here. 1815 01:44:35,901 --> 01:44:39,988 Supposing the spy steals this document and finds the name Roosevelt on it. 1816 01:44:40,071 --> 01:44:42,532 Think what that would mean to the safety of the nation! 1817 01:44:43,116 --> 01:44:46,036 -No, it's chicanery. -What is this? Come on! 1818 01:44:46,119 --> 01:44:49,623 -He's come to. He's ready to talk. -Hold him till I get there. 1819 01:44:49,706 --> 01:44:53,126 Let me explain. The name Brewster is code for Roosevelt. 1820 01:44:53,210 --> 01:44:55,754 -Code for Roosevelt? -Take the name Brewster. 1821 01:44:55,837 --> 01:44:57,380 Take away the B and what have you got? 1822 01:44:57,839 --> 01:45:00,175 -Rooster. -And what does a rooster do? 1823 01:45:00,258 --> 01:45:03,637 -Crows. -It crows! Where do you hunt in Africa? 1824 01:45:04,012 --> 01:45:06,056 -On the veldt! -There you are! Crowsveldt. 1825 01:45:06,139 --> 01:45:09,559 Ingenious! My compliments to the boys in the code department. 1826 01:45:09,643 --> 01:45:12,062 That's all right! Do that again for me. 1827 01:45:12,145 --> 01:45:14,773 Never mind! Give me that pen. 1828 01:45:15,732 --> 01:45:17,150 This is fun. 1829 01:45:17,234 --> 01:45:19,528 Now, all I got to get is Witherspoon. 1830 01:45:24,825 --> 01:45:28,537 Oh, Mr. Witherspoon, I'm so glad to see you. 1831 01:45:28,620 --> 01:45:30,247 -Thank you. -Mr. Witherspoon, before I... 1832 01:45:30,330 --> 01:45:32,833 Look, you will take good care of Teddy? 1833 01:45:32,916 --> 01:45:35,168 -Best of care of him. -That's fine. 1834 01:45:35,252 --> 01:45:36,962 And no wagon when he leaves. 1835 01:45:37,045 --> 01:45:39,381 Why? To take him away? Never, never. 1836 01:45:39,464 --> 01:45:41,842 Taxicabs. We always... I have one waiting now. 1837 01:45:42,425 --> 01:45:43,927 -Look, it means a great deal to me. -Yes. 1838 01:45:44,010 --> 01:45:46,596 You will personally see that Teddy's happy at Happy Dale? 1839 01:45:46,680 --> 01:45:49,349 -He'll be very happy at Happy Dale. -That's good. 1840 01:45:49,432 --> 01:45:52,769 You know, I sometimes envy some of our patients, secretly. 1841 01:45:52,853 --> 01:45:56,356 You do? It must be a nice place. I've never been there. 1842 01:45:56,439 --> 01:45:57,524 You never can tell. 1843 01:45:58,441 --> 01:46:01,945 This is a particularly happy moment for me tonight, Mr. Brewster. 1844 01:46:02,028 --> 01:46:05,657 -I've never met a dramatic critic before. -The woods are full of them. 1845 01:46:05,740 --> 01:46:09,035 I have here something that will explain what we're trying to do. 1846 01:46:09,119 --> 01:46:11,997 -A pamphlet about Happy Dale? -No, it's a play. 1847 01:46:12,956 --> 01:46:15,041 Something I've been working on for some time now. 1848 01:46:15,125 --> 01:46:18,670 It's a dramatization of many incidents that have happened at Happy Dale. 1849 01:46:18,753 --> 01:46:20,380 Captain! Captain! 1850 01:46:21,590 --> 01:46:23,675 I want you to read this carefully. 1851 01:46:23,758 --> 01:46:26,428 I want you to be just as harsh as you like, in your criticism. 1852 01:46:26,511 --> 01:46:28,013 I shan't mind, you know... 1853 01:46:28,096 --> 01:46:30,182 Captain, this is Mr. Witherspoon. 1854 01:46:30,557 --> 01:46:32,434 Oh, yes, yes. 1855 01:46:32,767 --> 01:46:34,686 He'll be very happy at Happy Dale. 1856 01:46:34,769 --> 01:46:37,189 -Come, my boy. -What is this? 1857 01:46:37,272 --> 01:46:41,401 No, you got it wrong. This is Captain Rooney. 1858 01:46:42,319 --> 01:46:43,403 The police? 1859 01:46:44,946 --> 01:46:49,075 I'm sure! Here are the papers, all signed. Now you can take him away. 1860 01:46:49,159 --> 01:46:51,203 I'll be in my office vetoing some bills. 1861 01:46:51,620 --> 01:46:54,039 Mr. President, I have good news for you. 1862 01:46:54,122 --> 01:46:56,374 Your term of office is over. 1863 01:46:57,501 --> 01:46:59,794 -Is this March 4? -Practically. 1864 01:46:59,878 --> 01:47:01,046 Let's see... 1865 01:47:02,255 --> 01:47:03,423 Oh... 1866 01:47:03,507 --> 01:47:05,509 Now I go on my hunting trip to Africa! 1867 01:47:05,967 --> 01:47:08,428 Well, I must get started immediately. 1868 01:47:15,101 --> 01:47:17,938 Is he trying to move into the White House before I've moved out? 1869 01:47:18,021 --> 01:47:19,439 Who, Mr. President? 1870 01:47:20,106 --> 01:47:21,191 Taft! 1871 01:47:24,277 --> 01:47:26,655 No, this isn't Mr. Taft. 1872 01:47:26,738 --> 01:47:29,658 It's Mr. Witherspoon, your guide to Africa. 1873 01:47:29,741 --> 01:47:31,326 Bully! Bully! 1874 01:47:31,409 --> 01:47:33,495 Wait right here. I'll bring down my equipment. 1875 01:47:34,246 --> 01:47:35,580 Happy man. 1876 01:47:35,664 --> 01:47:37,666 Goodbye, Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha. 1877 01:47:37,749 --> 01:47:40,585 I'm on my way to Africa. Isn't it wonderful? 1878 01:47:40,669 --> 01:47:41,628 Charge! 1879 01:47:44,673 --> 01:47:46,132 It's all right, I've got it. 1880 01:47:46,883 --> 01:47:48,051 Oh, dear. 1881 01:47:48,802 --> 01:47:51,680 And Happy Dale is full of staircases. 1882 01:47:56,810 --> 01:47:59,688 You've come to meet Teddy, haven't you? 1883 01:47:59,771 --> 01:48:03,608 No, he's come to take him. Teddy's been blowing his bugle again. 1884 01:48:03,692 --> 01:48:07,028 No, he can't go now! We won't permit it. 1885 01:48:07,112 --> 01:48:09,656 We promise to take his bugle away from him. 1886 01:48:09,739 --> 01:48:12,909 -We won't be separated from Teddy. -I'm sorry. 1887 01:48:13,785 --> 01:48:16,746 How can you allow this? You promised. 1888 01:48:16,830 --> 01:48:20,333 Brewster's got nothing to do with this. The law is the law! 1889 01:48:20,417 --> 01:48:22,586 Teddy's committed himself and he's got to go. 1890 01:48:22,669 --> 01:48:29,468 -Well, If he's going, we're going, too! -Yes, you'll have to take us with him. 1891 01:48:29,885 --> 01:48:32,637 Why not? Why not, indeed? 1892 01:48:33,513 --> 01:48:37,809 It's sweet of them, but impossible. We never take sane people at Happy Dale. 1893 01:48:38,935 --> 01:48:40,562 Oh, no, no, no. 1894 01:48:42,439 --> 01:48:46,735 These two little sane people will get lost in the shuffle. You could arrange that. 1895 01:48:46,818 --> 01:48:48,737 Just put them in and they'll get all mixed up. 1896 01:48:48,820 --> 01:48:52,449 Oh, no, no, no. Too dangerous. Dissension, jealousy. 1897 01:48:55,994 --> 01:48:58,371 Now, let's be sensible, ladies. 1898 01:48:58,455 --> 01:49:01,708 Here I am wasting my time when I could be doing some serious work. 1899 01:49:01,791 --> 01:49:04,252 You know, ladies, there are still murders to be solved in Brooklyn. 1900 01:49:04,336 --> 01:49:07,756 It ain't only his bugle blowing. Things are going to get worse. 1901 01:49:07,839 --> 01:49:10,383 We're liable to have to dig up your cellar. 1902 01:49:10,467 --> 01:49:11,802 Our cellar? 1903 01:49:11,885 --> 01:49:13,094 - Yeah. - Oh-oh. 1904 01:49:13,178 --> 01:49:16,765 Teddy's been telling around there's 13 bodies buried in the cellar. 1905 01:49:16,848 --> 01:49:19,434 There are 13 bodies in our cellar. 1906 01:49:25,065 --> 01:49:26,107 What? 1907 01:49:26,191 --> 01:49:28,985 Yes. You just ask our nephew, Mortimer. 1908 01:49:34,866 --> 01:49:35,826 Charge! 1909 01:49:42,207 --> 01:49:43,667 Isn't that amazing? 1910 01:49:44,084 --> 01:49:46,545 Now, Mortimer, you behave yourself. 1911 01:49:46,628 --> 01:49:49,965 You know very well there are 13 bodies down in our cellar. 1912 01:49:50,048 --> 01:49:52,634 Certainly there's 13 bodies in the cellar. 1913 01:49:52,717 --> 01:49:56,054 And there are hundreds more up in the attic, Captain! 1914 01:50:00,475 --> 01:50:02,936 -What is this? -You mustn't mind Mortimer. 1915 01:50:03,019 --> 01:50:04,729 -How about it? -I'll be right there. 1916 01:50:04,813 --> 01:50:07,149 He's been a little strange all day. 1917 01:50:07,232 --> 01:50:10,819 Right now I wouldn't know what is and what ain't strange anymore. 1918 01:50:10,902 --> 01:50:13,822 -I'll look in that cellar. -I'll tell you what we'll do. 1919 01:50:13,905 --> 01:50:17,159 I'll bring my bodies from the attic and you get yours from the cellar, 1920 01:50:17,242 --> 01:50:21,872 and we'll get them all together, and we'll send them to Happy Dale. 1921 01:50:23,915 --> 01:50:26,376 - What? - No, you wouldn't have to dig. 1922 01:50:26,459 --> 01:50:28,253 The graves are all marked. 1923 01:50:28,879 --> 01:50:31,882 -We put flowers on them every Sunday. -Flowers? 1924 01:50:31,965 --> 01:50:34,551 Sure, I put neon lights on mine. 1925 01:50:36,344 --> 01:50:37,846 Humor them, humor them. 1926 01:50:38,763 --> 01:50:39,848 Smile. 1927 01:50:41,141 --> 01:50:44,978 -What? -There's one down there, a Mr. Spenalzo... 1928 01:50:45,061 --> 01:50:46,146 Hasn't got it yet. 1929 01:50:46,229 --> 01:50:48,690 ...who doesn't belong here and has to leave. 1930 01:50:48,773 --> 01:50:52,527 -But the other 12 are our gentlemen. -Your gentlemen? 1931 01:50:52,611 --> 01:50:55,405 You'd like mine better. None of mine are gentlemen. 1932 01:50:56,656 --> 01:50:59,326 -You mustn't mind him at all. -He got married today. 1933 01:50:59,409 --> 01:51:02,829 There is a Happy Dale far, far away 1934 01:51:02,913 --> 01:51:04,789 There is a Happy... 1935 01:51:05,832 --> 01:51:07,375 Yeah, yeah. 1936 01:51:08,960 --> 01:51:11,338 He got it. It's amazing. 1937 01:51:11,838 --> 01:51:14,257 Don't you think you can find room for the ladies? 1938 01:51:14,716 --> 01:51:15,884 Just the ladies? 1939 01:51:17,928 --> 01:51:19,054 Just the ladies! 1940 01:51:19,971 --> 01:51:23,016 -How about it? -They'd have to be committed. 1941 01:51:23,350 --> 01:51:25,811 Teddy committed himself. Couldn't they? 1942 01:51:25,894 --> 01:51:28,063 -All they have to do is sign the papers. -Certainly. 1943 01:51:28,772 --> 01:51:31,775 Oh! Well, if we can go with Teddy, we'll sign the papers. 1944 01:51:31,858 --> 01:51:32,901 -Come along. -Where are they? 1945 01:51:32,984 --> 01:51:35,654 -Yes, where are they? -I have them, ladies, right here. 1946 01:51:35,737 --> 01:51:38,907 Sign them up, will you? I want this all cleaned up. 1947 01:51:38,990 --> 01:51:42,911 I'm going out to talk to that spy. Maybe I can understand him. 1948 01:51:42,994 --> 01:51:45,121 Thirteen bodies in the cellar. 1949 01:51:45,205 --> 01:51:46,915 Ladies, if you'll sign right here. 1950 01:51:58,009 --> 01:51:59,886 -Here? -Yes, please. 1951 01:51:59,970 --> 01:52:01,930 It's on the right-hand side there. 1952 01:52:02,013 --> 01:52:04,224 I'm really looking forward to going. 1953 01:52:04,307 --> 01:52:06,852 The neighborhood here has changed so. 1954 01:52:06,935 --> 01:52:10,397 Yes. Especially since they won that old pennant thing. 1955 01:52:11,731 --> 01:52:12,816 Oh... 1956 01:52:12,899 --> 01:52:14,943 Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. We've overlooked something. 1957 01:52:15,527 --> 01:52:19,447 It's absolutely compulsory that we have the signature of a physician. 1958 01:52:19,531 --> 01:52:20,866 A doctor. 1959 01:52:20,949 --> 01:52:23,577 Dr. Einstein! Come here and sign some papers, please. 1960 01:52:23,660 --> 01:52:25,829 -Good night. -Come here, Dr. Einstein. 1961 01:52:25,912 --> 01:52:27,455 -A doctor? -Yes. 1962 01:52:27,539 --> 01:52:31,126 Dr. Einstein almost operated on me earlier. Come along, Doctor. 1963 01:52:32,460 --> 01:52:34,462 Now, here. Just sign right here, 1964 01:52:34,546 --> 01:52:35,881 -please, Doctor. -Yes. 1965 01:52:35,964 --> 01:52:38,675 -Were you leaving, Doctor? -Yes, please. 1966 01:52:38,758 --> 01:52:41,761 Aren't you going to wait for Jonathan? 1967 01:52:41,845 --> 01:52:44,973 I don't think we go to the same place. 1968 01:52:45,056 --> 01:52:48,435 Hello, Mac. We picked up that guy that's wanted in Indiana. 1969 01:52:48,518 --> 01:52:51,646 His accomplice's description is on the circular, on the desk. 1970 01:52:51,730 --> 01:52:52,689 Read it to me, will you? 1971 01:52:53,648 --> 01:52:54,608 Yeah. 1972 01:52:55,358 --> 01:52:56,485 About 40. 1973 01:52:57,068 --> 01:52:58,487 Five-foot-three. 1974 01:52:59,070 --> 01:53:00,489 One hundred and forty pounds. 1975 01:53:01,239 --> 01:53:02,616 Pop eyes. 1976 01:53:04,117 --> 01:53:05,785 Talks with a German accent. 1977 01:53:06,536 --> 01:53:07,996 Poses as a doctor. 1978 01:53:08,079 --> 01:53:09,623 Okay, Mac. Thanks. 1979 01:53:10,081 --> 01:53:13,084 It's all right. The doctor has completed the signatures. 1980 01:53:13,168 --> 01:53:14,753 That's great! 1981 01:53:14,836 --> 01:53:18,173 Thanks, Doc. You've done Brooklyn a great service. 1982 01:53:23,720 --> 01:53:25,180 But Dr. Einstein! 1983 01:53:28,683 --> 01:53:32,771 -Now, Mr. Witherspoon... -You're Witherspoon, I'm Brewster. 1984 01:53:32,854 --> 01:53:35,148 It's contagious, yes. It's your turn. 1985 01:53:36,191 --> 01:53:38,193 -Don't play games... -You sign. 1986 01:53:38,276 --> 01:53:39,486 You sign as next of kin. 1987 01:53:40,362 --> 01:53:43,198 Why didn't you say so? I'm all confused. Don't mind me. 1988 01:53:45,826 --> 01:53:47,035 Mr. Witherport. 1989 01:53:47,869 --> 01:53:49,663 -Spoon. -Here. 1990 01:53:50,288 --> 01:53:51,498 Come up and pack my duffel. 1991 01:53:54,000 --> 01:53:55,168 Duffel? 1992 01:53:55,252 --> 01:53:56,711 Pack his duffel. He's President, you know? 1993 01:53:57,087 --> 01:53:58,213 Oh. 1994 01:53:58,296 --> 01:53:59,965 And bring along my bugle. 1995 01:54:02,134 --> 01:54:03,176 President. 1996 01:54:12,394 --> 01:54:13,645 Don't charge! 1997 01:54:23,905 --> 01:54:24,865 Mortimer, 1998 01:54:26,324 --> 01:54:29,828 Mortimer, we're really very worried about something. 1999 01:54:31,329 --> 01:54:33,290 Now, darling, don't be worried. 2000 01:54:34,332 --> 01:54:37,169 -Me too, Mortimer. -Well, of course, darling. 2001 01:54:38,295 --> 01:54:40,297 You'll both be very happy at Happy Dale. Really. 2002 01:54:41,548 --> 01:54:45,135 We're very happy about the whole thing, but that's just it. 2003 01:54:45,218 --> 01:54:47,262 We don't want anything to go wrong. 2004 01:54:47,929 --> 01:54:49,264 -Oh, what can go wrong? -Mortimer, 2005 01:54:49,347 --> 01:54:52,017 Will they investigate those signatures? 2006 01:54:53,268 --> 01:54:57,272 -They won't look up Dr. Einstein... -But it's not his signature, dear. 2007 01:54:57,355 --> 01:54:59,274 -It's yours. -Mine? 2008 01:54:59,357 --> 01:55:02,611 You see, you signed as next of kin. 2009 01:55:02,944 --> 01:55:07,115 -What's wrong about that, darling? -Martha, you tell him. 2010 01:55:09,242 --> 01:55:10,452 Well, dear. 2011 01:55:10,869 --> 01:55:14,539 -What, dear? -You're not really a Brewster. 2012 01:55:15,916 --> 01:55:18,710 -What? -Your mother came to us as a cook. 2013 01:55:18,793 --> 01:55:21,379 And you were born about three months afterwards. 2014 01:55:21,463 --> 01:55:24,508 And she was such a sweet woman and such a good cook, 2015 01:55:24,591 --> 01:55:28,178 we didn't want to lose her. So brother married her. 2016 01:55:28,261 --> 01:55:30,555 Your real father was a cook, too. 2017 01:55:30,639 --> 01:55:33,308 He was a chef on a tramp steamer. 2018 01:55:35,602 --> 01:55:40,273 You mean I'm not really a Brewster? 2019 01:55:41,149 --> 01:55:44,986 -Darling! -Don't feel so badly about it. 2020 01:55:45,070 --> 01:55:48,740 I'm sure it won't make any difference to Elaine. 2021 01:55:55,580 --> 01:55:56,957 Elaine, Elaine! 2022 01:55:57,040 --> 01:56:00,168 Where are you? Can you hear me? I'm not really a Brewster! 2023 01:56:00,252 --> 01:56:02,003 I'm the son of a sea cook! 2024 01:56:04,214 --> 01:56:05,173 Mortimer! 2025 01:56:05,715 --> 01:56:06,675 Mortimer! 2026 01:56:08,009 --> 01:56:10,804 Mortimer! It's true! I saw them. It's true. 2027 01:56:10,887 --> 01:56:13,390 It's true! There are 13 bodies down there! 2028 01:56:13,890 --> 01:56:15,475 But I saw them... 2029 01:56:17,269 --> 01:56:18,603 What's all this screaming about? 2030 01:56:18,687 --> 01:56:21,648 -But I saw them... -It's way past her bedtime. 2031 01:56:23,400 --> 01:56:24,442 Quiet! 2032 01:56:27,988 --> 01:56:30,615 -But, Mortimer... -Goodbye! 2033 01:56:30,699 --> 01:56:32,826 -Bye. -Goodbye, darling! 2034 01:56:34,786 --> 01:56:38,540 -What is all this? -They're going on their honeymoon. 2035 01:56:38,623 --> 01:56:40,542 They're off to a flying start. 2036 01:56:46,715 --> 01:56:48,425 Mortimer, I really did see... 2037 01:56:49,301 --> 01:56:50,635 You'll own two cabs! 2038 01:56:50,719 --> 01:56:53,972 - Mortimer... - I mean the meter! 2039 01:56:54,055 --> 01:56:56,141 Oh, Mortimer. 2040 01:57:02,939 --> 01:57:06,067 Oh, Mortimer. 2041 01:57:07,027 --> 01:57:09,654 We're going to Niagara Falls. Call me a cab, dear. 2042 01:57:09,738 --> 01:57:10,947 Yes, love. 2043 01:57:12,157 --> 01:57:13,909 But Mr. Brewster! 2044 01:57:13,992 --> 01:57:17,454 No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm a son of a sea cook. 2045 01:57:18,246 --> 01:57:19,206 Charge! 2046 01:57:21,374 --> 01:57:24,669 I'm not a cab driver. I'm a coffee pot!