# There's an island in a bay
# Loco de amor
# She's got most peculiar ways
# Crazy for love
# Otocumé yandé
# All the people in the street
# Loco de amor
# Everybody that I meet
# Crazy for love
# Otocumé yandé
# Shaky house and shaky home
# Loco de amor
# So whatever turns you on
# Crazy for love
# My wild thing
# My little wild thing
# Hey, my wild thing
# Like a pizza in the rain
# Loco de amor
# No one wants to take you home
# But I love you just the same
# My wild thing
# Hey, hey, my wild thing
# My little wild thing
# Hey, hey, my wild thing
- This takes place up in heaven. - That's not my neighbourhood.
Oh, yeah. There's a pool hall up there. That's your main place.
Excuse me. Excuse me, can I get my check?
Hey, Charlie, check for the gentleman in the front.
- Enjoy it? Here's the check. - Thank you, Dottie.
Hey, whaddaya say, Frenchy! How are you, my friend?
Hey, you! Hey! Hey!
- Hey, you didn't pay for your lunch. - What?
- You didn't pay your bill, big boy. - Oh, sure I paid. Didn't I?
The check's in your pocket.
Oh.
You're right. OK, let me take care of that right now.
I'm sorry. I don't know how this happened. It's just I...
It's just... I got a lot of things on my mind, business things, and I simply forgot.
You deliberately walked out without paying.
I did not. Here, come on. Just take the money and keep the change and...
Fine. Maybe you'd like to tell a cop.
No! No, no... don't... no, don't.
Let me guess. Sometimes you don't pay for your lunch.
Or maybe you steal the occasional candy bar, or newspaper.
You're a closet rebel.
Oh, that's my telepager. I gotta call the office.
Which way are you goin'? I'll give you a ride.
Well, don't you... don't you have to go back to work?
I don't work there.
W-wait, wait, wait. What's all this business about the, uh... check?
Are you coming?
Uh, well, I, uh... all right. It's just I gotta go by the bank. And then...
- Thank you. - Wanna die young?
I gotta go by the bank, then down to the office.
- I'll drop you off. - It's downtown.
It's on my way.
Ready or not, babe?
You think that was pretty funny, don't you? The way you...
The way you had me goin' back there.
- It was all right. I'm Lulu. - Charles. Pleased to meet you.
Whoa!
- Ooh, yikes! - Whoo! That was...
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where are we goin'?
- I know a short cut. - Oh, good.
-- Oh, crap.
- Let me see. - Oh. It's the...
Hey, that's... Uh, wait. This is the Holland Tunnel. This is wrong.
- Are you listening to me? Go back. - Charlie...
What are you doing?
You're crazy. You really know that? Oh, God!
I gotta go to work. I got meetings, a million calls...
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, relax, Charlie. Come on.
Take the afternoon off.
You deserve it. Really.
I can't just take the afternoon off. What, are you n... nuts?
All right, look, you turn around when we get out of the tunnel. Let's just go back.
- This isn't funny. - Want a drink?
No, don't! God, don't drink! Please, this is dangerous.
Don't do that. God, don't.
Look, if you don't turn around and take me back,
you're gonna make me do something that I don't wanna do.
I can hardly wait, Charlie.
- Nice ring you got there, Charlie. - Thank you.
You been married a long time?
Just tell me where we're going, all right?
- How many kids do you have, Charlie? - That's not your concern.
Come on! Let's see the pictures.
What makes you think I got pictures of my kids?
- Are you afraid of me, Charlie? - I'm not afraid of you.
- Let me see 'em. - All right, if you want to.
- Right there. - Mm.
Very nice, Charlie. I'm impressed.
Thank you.
"Charles Driggs. Regional Manager."
They just made me vice president. I start Monday, as a matter of fact.
Oh, yeah? Vice president?
Oh, well. Here's to you, Mr Vice President.
- Want some? - No, no.
Come on, Charlie. Come on! It's OK.
- No, thank you very much. - Be a sport, Charlie.
All right, what the heck. Give me it.
- I wanna get another bottle. - OK, I'm gonna phone my secretary.
Hi. I need four pints of some Scotch, please.
Hey, babe, you work here or what?
- Four? - Yeah.
Why, of course.
Hi, pooch.
Two.
Stocks acquired before one January '84
should not be subject to anti-straddle rules, however long they may be held.
I hope none of the above causes any undue concern. Charles S Driggs.
Thank you very much.
Oh...
Is that Glenlivet up there?
- It is Glenlivet, isn't it? - Mm-hm.
I gotta have a bottle. I'm sorry to make you get up there, but it's my favourite.
- Of course. - Thank you.
The reason that I like Scotch so much is because my family's Scottish.
My mother's mother was an O'Connor.
Oh, really? How bloody interesting.
That makes me, like, a quarter Scottish.
My father's mother, she was a Hawthorne.
I've just about got it.
Little Willy was conceived on our trip to Scotland a number of years ago...
Oh, crap. See if you can get me out of that five o'clock squash with Graves.
Tell him... Lynn?
That was the office, for Christ's...
Coming?
There's a tax act in the works that would authorise regulations to be written
amplifying what is meant by "substantial reduction".
What?
Charlie, what do you do for fun besides steal candy bars? Huh?
You were right. I'm a rebel.
I am! I just channelled my rebellion into the mainstream. I'll give you an example.
In '81, I went long-term munis.
Everybody said "Driggs, you're crazy, don't do it."
- Munis? - Municipal bonds. Tax-free.
Hell, I was locking in close to 15.
I may look straight, but deep down, I got what it takes.
- Do you? - Whoa!
- What's this? - Getting a room.
Something wrong, Charlie?
Maybe it's not such a good idea, getting a room.
- Don't you have someplace we could go? - How about your place?
I can just see the neighbours watching you get out of the car.
You have money?
I mean, for the room. The rest is free.
Well, uh...
Let me check.
I only got these credit cards - which are company plastic.
Our accountant would wonder what I was doing in a motel on a Friday afternoon.
- Use the cash. - No, I can't use that.
- Why? - That's money for the Christmas Club.
Are we not gonna get a room
because you're saving for Christmas presents? In the middle of June?
It's not bad. I've stayed in worse. Not much of a view, though.
I want you to know that I've, uh... never done anything like this before.
Don't worry, Charlie. I have.
I wanna leave the T-shirt on, OK?
- Why's that? - I don't know. I don't feel comfortable yet.
Oh, gosh.
- How do you feel now, Charlie? - Good.
Want some?
Yeah. Thank you.
Can I help you find anything?
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Ch-Ch-Charlie.
You game?
You're a funny girl.
Ow!
Agh! Yeah...
Oh, God! That's... That's a new T-shirt!
Oh, Jesus...
Charlie, you must not be getting enough at home.
- Mm, you look good enough to eat. - Oh, thank you.
Oh, God...
What are you doing?
Making a call...
Yeah, operator. 2127-247-270.
No! Don't!
God! Oh, God!
Charles Driggs' office.
- Is Charlie there, please? - No!
He's not? It's 3.30. Shouldn't he be back from lunch by now?
- Oh, please don't! - Shh!
Who is this, please? I can take a message for Mr Driggs.
No, this is a matter of considerable urgency.
- Please connect me to his superior.
Good afternoon, Richard Graves' office.
Yes, Mr Richard Graves, please. Mr Charles Driggs is calling.
Yes?
Richard, Charles Driggs here. Yeah, listen...
Yeah, no, just calling to let you know that I won't be back this afternoon.
You won't be back? Is something wrong?
No, no problem. I'm just stuck in outside meetings. You know how that goes.
I'd hoped we'd be able to huddle today.
Oh, sorry about that.
Well, no, I was just gonna throw that to Dillman.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm writing this down.
Oh, Charlie. Oh, Charlie...
How about I have copies on your desk first thing Monday?
Wouldn't that... Yeah, all right, sure.
Goodbye.
Oooh!
Charlie, you're a really good liar when you wanna be.
Oh, jeez! Don't stop, please.
Both her arms were covered with rings and jewellery...
Accoutrements of black, Satanistic... Please, I'm on TV.
- And you say she was armed? - Definitely armed.
It looked like a 9 millimetre or a.38 to me.
Oh, God, what time is it?
Time to get the hell outta Dodge.
- If you wanna take a shower, hurry. - Why? We leave now, we hit traffic.
I'm not going back. You have to take a bus.
- Why, where are you going? - Pennsylvania, back to where I grew up.
Oh, really? It's hard to imagine you growing up.
What, you think I was born like this?
Yeah, I'm writing this down!
"He should be back. It's 3.30!"
Hi, honey. I know it's short notice, but I've been called away on business.
I've got a meeting tonight in Philadelphia. Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?
So, I should be home tomorrow evening. For sure.
Or maybe tomorrow morning. Could be even later tonight.
- Depending on, you know... Depending.
So, love you too, and goodbye.
Sure you know what you're doing?
No. But what the hell, you know?
Mom & Dad's. Dad speaking.
...Mickey Lolich pitching to a Babe Ruth with Tony Lazzeri on second base...
Thanks, Rose. ...whether you put Mickey Stanley...
- - What? What's so funny?
- You. - What? What'd I do?
Calling the waitress by her name.
That's what name tags are for.
- There you go. - Thanks, Rose.
Just makes things a little friendlier, a little more personal. I like that.
- Yeah. Charlie Driggs. - Yeah.
What do we got?
Oh, my gosh. I don't believe this.
I have got $4 left from the Christmas Club money. I don't be...
I'll get it, Charlie. You got the room.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
I'll be right back.
I like you, Charlie. You're a really nice guy.
Maybe a little too nice.
No, I'm sorry, we don't have a thing available until after 7.15.
Yeah, that's OK.
- Goodnight, Rose. - The young woman said you'd get this.
- She didn't pay for this? - No, sir.
Lulu?
She said the gentleman would pay for dinner.
You...
The gentleman would...
This is absolutely unbelievable. Uh...
Well, that's no problem, Rose. I'll take care of that lickety-split.
Sorry. The, uh, credit cards. How about that?
We don't accept any credit cards.
Uh...
Any credit cards.
Problem, Dad?
Possible cash-flow problem.
No, there's no problem at all. I don't think that there...
...there's anything to worry about. Come on, fellas.
I mean, do I look like a guy who'd run out on a check? I mean, come on!
You guys!
Come on, Charlie! Come on, Charlie!
Yeah! Yee-hah!
What are you doing?! I could've been killed!
You know you don't like paying those things.
I still got the old wheels, don't I? Did you see me?
You're pretty quick for an old guy.
The guy didn't get the license number, did he?
Oh, Charlie.
# Wild thing
# You make my heart sing
# You make everything
# Groovy
# Wild thing
# Wild thing, I think I love you
# But I wanna know for sure
# Come on and hold me tight
- Where, Charlie? Here? - 30 feet, 20 feet...
- We're almost... You missed it. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Careful, careful!
Fine, all right. Just park it. Fine.
Park it. Lock it. Let's go. Just leave it here.
- Charlie, where are you? - Ow. I'm all right.
You all right?
- Save the burgers. - The hamburgers. Charlie!
Where'd you go? Watch out, there's a small cliff...
-I'll fix you up. - Anything. It's killin' me.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Hey, listen, you knock one over the fence for your old man, all right? OK.
Tell Scott I love him.
OK. Great. Good. Bye.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Take half of it now, half of it later and you'll feel a lot better. There ya go.
Remember, it's better to be a live dog than a dead lion.
I've felt the same way before.
- Good luck to you. - Yeah, thank you.
Lulu?
- Oh. I'm sorry. - What? Come here.
- What's that? - Uh... well, it's, you know...
It took a while, but the whisky caught up with me, I guess.
How can you drink that stuff?
I have to. My head's killing me. I haven't had hard liquor in years.
Hair of the dog that bit you, babe.
God, no, no! Jesus, don't drink that! No. I'm serious.
- You drank enough of it last night. - Last night was last night.
- Here. Have some of this. - No.
No, don't tell me no, please.
- This is better for you. It's tried and true. - I don't want any of it.
- Do you have a hangover? - Yes.
Then this is the stuff you drink for a hangover. Come on. Drink it, please.
- No. - Please.
- No. - Please!
- No! - Drink it!
Thank you.
Shit!
The guy at the restaurant must have got the license number.
- Is this your car, pal? - Huh?
I've been admiring your bike.
You interested in motorcycles?
No, I just like big things between my legs.
Thank you, officer.
Damn, I left my suitcase in the car.
I cannot afford to get mixed up in things like this! I got responsibilities!
Don't worry about the car. It's gonna be fine.
Oh, well, I am worried. Let's just don't blow what we have here.
What are we... We gotta get that car back!
Just back off, Charlie!
If you don't wanna hang around, go back to your barbecues and your brunches.
We don't have to get the car back. We can buy a new one.
520, 540,
560, 580, 600.
OK. Now, I need to see some valid identification
and something showing you have insurance.
- Can you take my word for it? - No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid not.
OK.
- How about Mr Franklin's? - Now we're talking.
Come on, Charlie, talk to me. What's on your mind?
You wanna know where I got the money for the car, right?
I wanna know where you got that car, that you can just leave it like that.
Then I wanna know where you got the money.
# D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Equal distribution of assets. It's a popular tune.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry. I'm not sorry.
Charlie, don't worry about that car. It was still registered in his name.
You got to stop worrying so much.
- Hi! You guys want a ride? - Thank you, thank you.
Hop in.
- Here, let me... - Welcome aboard.
# Wild thing
# You make my heart sing
# You make everything groovy
# Wild thing
# I think I love you
# But I wanna know for sure
# Come on, hold me tight
# I love you
Thanks for the ride.
Bye, Lulu.
- Thank you! - Pleasure to meet you.
Thank you, ladies.
Ladies, we need something for the gentleman here.
Follow me.
Oh, Charlie!
- It's you. - Forget it.
No. No. I will not buy this.
- Look at this. - Absolutely, with all certainty, no.
- It brings out the blue in those eyes. - Yes, but still...
- Ladies, what do you think? - No.
Very nice.
Oh, God!
If you were my mother and I presented him as my husband,
- what would you think? - Very nice.
But I'd get rid of those handcuffs, if I were you.
- Charlie! - Oh!
Don't look so surprised.
Get in the car.
- Where are we? - Come here, Charlie.
- What are you doing? - I'm setting you free.
- Maybe I don't wanna be free. - Maybe you're not.
Come on.
Hello!
- Don't call me Lulu. Call me Audrey. - Audrey?
- Audrey! What a surprise! - Hi, Mama.
Mom, I want you to meet my husband Charlie.
- Oh. Well, hello, Charlie. - Nice to meet you, Mrs, uh...
Just call me Peaches.
- That's her real name. - Peaches...
- Here you are. - Thank you.
Charlie, exactly how did y'all decide to come down here?
Audrey just said "let's go visit my mother", so here we are.
Audrey is very impulsive. It's one of the things I like about her.
And, dear, exactly when did y'all get married?
In September. We're still newlyweds really.
You'll have to visit us. We have an extra room.
It's gonna be the baby's room some day.
Charlie fixed it up. He's really good with his hands.
He wants a big family, but I think just a boy and a girl would be nice.
- Don't you, honey? - Whatever you want, honey.
See, Mama? He's just the kind of man you always said I should marry.
Mama, we're gonna lie down for a bit cos we've been driving all day.
- Why'd you tell her we were married? - I wanted to make her happy.
- She doesn't know you were married? - No. She didn't like him anyway.
Next time, let me know your plans. I almost lost it.
That was part of the surprise. I wanted to see if you could think on your feet.
How'd I do?
Like I said, you're a pretty good liar when you wanna be, Charlie.
Audrey Hankel.
The guy was, like, taking all the way. So I'm running in like an idiot, and I slide in.
Everybody's so surprised. The catcher is holding the ball.
I slide home, I steal home, we win the game.
Oh, God, it was great!
Well, I'm glad it was such a good game for you.
- This is good food too. - Well, I expect you to eat it all up then.
You've got a real wife somewhere, don't you, Charlie?
Uh, well, that's a little complicated, Peaches.
- Do you love my daughter? - I just met her recently.
It's kinda hard to...
You take care then. She's got some strange notions about life.
Yep. I know.
Oh, my gosh!
I had this dress in high school. Mama saves everything.
- Don't you, Mama? - Of course I do.
We packed a suitcase and I left it sitting right by the door. I'm glad I had this dress.
But poor Charlie's gotta wear what he's got on the whole weekend. Poor baby.
Goodbye, Mama.
We'll try and get down more often. Charlie's job keeps him so busy.
Oh, I understand, dear. Just come when you can.
- Give her a kiss. - Goodbye, Peaches.
Come on. She's my mama, Charlie. Give her a kiss.
- Bye, Charlie. - Thank you for the meal. It was...
- Bye, Max - Heads up, Max.
- I hope things work out for you, Charlie. - Good luck to you too!
It was wonderful meeting you, Peaches.
Here, let me...
Come on! Let's go.
- You wanna tell me where we're going? - No.
-So long! - Bye.
I love you, Mama.
# Ever fallen in love
# In love with someone
# Ever fallen in love
# In love with somone you shouldn't have fallen in love with
- Jesus, what's this? - Get ready, Charlie.
My high school reunion. God, I'm so nervous.
Are you kidding me?
Wait, wait, wait! Who am I supposed to be?
- Oh! - OK.
Am I supposed to sign in here?
- Audrey Hankel? - Yeah.
Remember me? Donna Penski?
- Yeah, sure, Donna. How are you? - Fine.
Audrey! James. James Williams.
James! Hi!
How you doin'? This is my husband Charlie.
- Hello, James. - Pleased to meet you, Charlie.
We have a booklet with the names and addresses
of all the people who weren't able to make it tonight.
Oh, really?
Audrey! Smile, please.
Thank you.
- I bet you've got kids, don't you? - Mm-hm. Two, a boy and a girl.
Oh, that's nice. What are their names?
Their names?
- Scott and Leslie. - Scott and Leslie.
# I thought love was only true in fairy tales
# Meant for someone else and not for me
# Love was out to get me
# That's the way it seemed
# Disappointments haunted all my dreams
# Then I saw her face
# Now I'm a believer
# Not a trace
# Of doubt in my mind
# I'm in love
# I'm a believer I just couldn't leave her if I tried
# What's the use in tryin'?
# All you get is pain
# When I needed sunshine, I got rain
Whooo!
# I'm a believer
I want a big Badger yell.
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!
That guy's in my office!
I've always been an introverted, shy guy.
Charles Driggs!
Ah! God! No! Uh, uh, uh... Just let me do the talking.
- Larry! - What the hell are you doing here?
I thought you never got out of the office!
You remember my wife Peggy? You met Charles at the Christmas party.
Congrats on that promotion. You really deserve it.
- I knew you'd go right to the top. - Thanks. That's nice of you to say.
I bet you say that to all the new VPs.
Uh, this is Audrey. We've known each other for...
We're lovers.
Only in the sense that all human beings are... lovers.
Audrey Driggs?
I had to take his name for the baby's sake.
- You're having his child? - I think it's his child.
Larry works in accounting, down the hall from me, right?
Is this the guy who would've wondered why you were using company plastic
yesterday afternoon in that motel in New Jersey?
Hell, Charles, we could've covered that. Just let me know next time.
See?
This is my wife Peggy.
We went to school together, Larry. Remember? It's our reunion.
- Hello, Audrey. - Hi.
- Reunions are fun, aren't they?
Come on, Larry.
Will you excuse us?
Driggs, I didn't think you had it in you.
Oh-ho...
- Thank you. - Charlie!
- Charlie, relax. - Relax?
What were you doing over there? That guy works in my office.
If he opens his mouth about any of this, and, believe me, he will, I'm ruined.
Charlie, you are vice president.
Did you see the look on that guy's face? He thinks you're a hero.
Charlie, what's wrong?
I'll tell you what's wrong. Company plastic. Valid company credit cards.
They were in my wallet. It was in my jacket. It's gone.
My MCI number, my access card to get me into my own building!
I mean, God knows who's got them! My Christmas Club voucher... Oh, crap!
- If I don't get it back, you know what? - What?
I'm fucked!
Charlie, I got it.
I got your wallet.
You got my wallet?
It fell out of your jacket and I picked it up.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I'm telling you now.
It's in the glove compartment.
Lulu, look. Uh...
God, you're a great girl. You got a few problems, but you're a great girl.
And you're loaded with potential. But you're too much for me.
I can't handle this.
Let me get my wallet and I'll catch a bus and go back to my boring, very safe life.
While I've still got one.
Charlie, I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that important. I'm sorry.
You believe me, don't you?
Yeah, yeah, course I do.
Tomorrow you're gonna wake up, you're still gonna be Charlie Driggs.
And this'll all be over and done with.
So why don't we enjoy it while we can.
And then tomorrow, no more Lulu.
Unless you really wanna go.
Then go.
# I'll be there
# Any time
# You need me
# By your side
# To dry away
# Every teardrop that you cry
# And if he ever leaves you blue
# Just remember
# I love you
# And I'll be there
# Before the next teardrop falls
# And I'll be there
# Before the next
# Teardrop falls
The Feelies! The Feelies! Come on! Thank you!
You want something... from the bar?
I sure would love a soda.
I'm gonna get some air. I'll be outside, over there.
OK?
If I could just... Is it possible?
Got a light?
Uh... Well, let me... No, I don't think so.
I'm Irene. I don't believe in name tags.
Oh. Right. Charlie. I, uh...
never had many concrete convictions about them one way or another.
- You're Audrey's husband, aren't you? - Uh... Yeah.
Yeah? You don't sound too convinced.
I can hardly believe it myself. We haven't known each other long.
- You don't exactly seem her type. - Yeah, well, what can I tell you?
Hi, Audrey. Check out Charlie at the end of the bar.
Dated, married, church wedding, you know... And, uh...
I had no idea Charles had such a way with the ladies.
Neither did he.
- I work in the city. - Doing what?
You seem overly interested in Audrey and me.
We're old friends.
Can I get a soda? Can I get a soda?
Charlie? I get up to New York once in a while.
- What? - I get up to New York once in a while.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Like to have a drink with me? - What?
Wanna have a drink in New York?
Yeah. No! No. I'm married. I got... I'm a married man.
Listen...
Enjoy the reunion, all right? Nice meeting you.
# Fame, makes a man take things over
# Fame, lets him loose and hard to swallow
# Fame, puts you there where things are hollow
# Fame
# Fame, what you like is in the limo
# Fame, what you get is no tomorrow
# Fame, what you need you have to borrow
# Fame
Oh, God!
Hi, baby. Surprise!
Hi, Charlie.
- Let's go. - Why? What's wrong?
Let's just go.
Charles, hey. Are you gonna be around tomorrow?
Uh... we kind of wanna get an early start back.
- How about brunch? - Uh, how about brunch?
- Hi there! - Hi. Charles Driggs. Audrey's husband.
Well, Charlie, pleased to meet you. I'm Ray. This is Irene.
Yeah, we've met.
- Hi. I'm Larry Dillman. - Hi. I'm Ray. This is Irene.
Irene, hi. This is Chloe and my wife Peggy. Ray and Irene.
Hi.
Well, we know old Peg. Don't we, Peg?
Hi, Ray.
- Charles and I work together in New York. - Really? Ain't that somethin'?
- Slavin' away over the old... - Here he comes now!
Haven't seen you in a while, Audrey.
- Seems like only yesterday, Ray. - How time changes things.
- Oh, too true. - That's what life's all about, huh?
Speaking of changing things, we have to go.
- See you all in ten years. - OK.
- Take care, Charlie. - Nice to meet you.
- Listen, shall we... OK, let's do it. - Bye, Peg. Bye, Larry.
Boy, there's a guy who landed on his feet.
How's that?
Nine months ago, his wife takes the kids and runs off with the family dentist.
It's the best thing that ever happened to him.
Yeah, I believe that.
- Damn it! - Don't flood it.
Hi, you all!
- How'd you get out here so fast? - Always keep 'em guessing, Charlie.
I thought we could have a drink together.
The party's over here. We still got time for a quick one.
Thanks, but no thanks, Ray.
Oh, come on!
It'll be fun.
- You don't mind, do you, Charlie? - No, it's OK with me. Honey?
Whaddaya say, Audrey? One drink?
You don't want me to tell Charlie how you spent your free periods, do ya?
- Come on! One drink! - OK, one drink.
All right! I'll drive, Charlie!
Hey, Charlie, how do you like this baby?
- Oh, God, it's a beauty, Ray. - Yeah.
- They don't make 'em like this any more. - Boy, this baby travels.
- What do you drive? - I, uh... a Ford station wagon.
A station wagon? Oh!
Hey, guys! How ya doin', huh?
Larry, baby! - We're going for pizza. Wanna come?
- Uh... pizza? - I don't want no pizza.
No, no, we can't. We've made other plans.
Sure. Anyway, see you Monday morning, Mr Vice President, huh?
OK! See ya!
He'll get in trouble with those guys.
- So you're a vice president, huh? - Yep. Just got promoted.
Well, we're gonna have to make this a night to remember.
# Dressed in a white shirt
# With my hair combed straight
# Here in my black shoes...
Hoo!
Irene, why don't you and Charlie get us some six packs?
- Yeah, come on, Irene. - Ray!
Where are your manners? It's your town. Why don't you go?
I'll go.
Let him go.
I'll go.
- Irene, why don't you go with her? - I'll go with her.
Ooooh-eee!
Look at that Audrey.
She is a work of art, huh?
Oh, yeah.
- You're a lucky man, Charlie. - Oh, don't I know it!
- How long have you been married? - What is it now? A year ago, September.
- Still newlyweds, really. - Yeah?
- You know... - That's wonderful. It really is.
- Where you living these days? - We got a nice place out in Long Island.
- Yeah? Where? - Stony Brook.
- I'm fixing a room up for the kids... - You got kids?
- Well, we intend to have them. - Yeah? That's great.
- Audrey was a little wild in high school. - Oh, well, yes, I can believe that!
But I knew she'd get herself together one day.
Oh... Thank you, Ray.
Irene, how long has he been in town?
- I don't know. - When did he get out?
I don't know!
- Come on, Irene! - I swear to God, I don't know.
I was just as surprised as you were when he showed up.
Oh, God.
I wonder what they're talking about.
Now there's a question.
- I shouldn't be asking you this... - No, no, no. Anything.
Yeah?
Audrey was the hottest thing in school.
And I was wondering, what is she really like?
What a gal, Ray. I mean, what a gal!
She is... She's impulsive and... her imagination...
No, no, no! I mean in bed.
Oh!
What am I doing?
Oh, God! Uh... well, she's, uh...
Come on, Charlie, you gotta admit she looks like she could fuck you right in half.
- I mean, just fuck you to pieces. - Ray, there's no call for that kind of talk.
You're right.
I understand.
Sorry, Charlie.
No...
Sorry, Charlie.
Come on...
We friends?
Sure. Oh, yeah.
OK.
I'm gonna go get me some smokes. I'll be right back.
You're a good guy, Charlie. I don't care what they say.
Irene, Charlie's lonely out there.
Why don't you give us a coupla minutes alone?
Go on! Go keep him company.
- I got nothing to say to you, Ray. - Come here!
I was hoping you'd show up tonight.
- When'd you get out? - I've been lookin' for you.
How did you get out, Ray?
- Who's this Charlie guy? - He's nobody. I just met him.
Oh, yeah? He's out there braggin' about what a great piece of ass you are.
Bullshit, Ray. You're sick.
He's too nice to say something like that.
Audrey!
I missed you so goddamn much!
- Every sweet little part of you. - Don't...
You should've never quit me, baby.
I tried to explain to you in the last letter I wrote you.
Write me?! Fuck, Audrey! I'm up for a nickel and all you can do is write?!
I don't wanna talk about it, Ray.
I said I'd have one drink with you. But it's over. Remember that, OK?
Are you saying that you don't love me any more?
Is that what you're saying?
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying. - Yeah, right.
Hey, Charlie's got a beer. Where's my beer?
- Right here. - Aah... Damn! I forgot to get cigarettes.
Can you get me some cigarettes, please? Please?
Sure. There ya go.
Thanks, Irene. You're all right.
- Hurry up, Irene. - Oh, yeah.
Charlie, watch this.
Ray, wait! Ray!
- What are you doin', Ray? - What's it look like?
- Irene! - Wait, there's Irene!
She's a big girl. She'll be OK.
Besides, this is your night to celebrate. I thought I'd make it just the three of us.
Come on, hop up in front. Come on!
- Yeah, well, all right, Ray. - Come on. There ya go.
- Come on, Audrey. - No.
Well, looks like it's you and me, pal.
# Goodnight, Irene...
What are we stoppin' for now?
Still gotta get my smokes, remember?
Come on, Charlie. I wanna show you something.
Oh, boy. I'm gonna grab some more beverages.
- You want anything? - Stay here with me.
Audrey, I'll leave the radio on. You don't think she'd leave us, do you?
No. You wouldn't do that, would you?
- Come on. I wanna show you something. - Great.
Take it easy.
- Charlie? - Yeah?
- Ever been on TV? - No, Ray. I've never been on television.
- Here's your chance. - Why? What?
- You're new vice president, huh? - I am the new VP. Don't you forget it.
All right. Well, make a speech.
Oh, look at that!
- You're on, slick. - Yeah.
Uh...
Hello! Hey! Hey!
- Hello. - How are you?
- What can I do for you? - Let me have a pack of Marlboros.
Marlboros. Will that be all?
.. to Larry Dillman, a man whose discretion
is exceeded only by his bad taste in suits.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Sit down!
Please, sit down.
I don't think we got Marlboros.
...thanks to my wonderful wife Audrey, who has stood by me through...
Wow!
Hey!
Jesus Christ! Ray, what are you? Oh!
You OK?
Bastard, Ray!
Are you all right, Charlie?
Get up! Get up!
Ray, goddamn you!
Just shut up, Audrey!
I'm gonna tell you something, Charlie.
When I used to do this for a living,
I used to pull a job at some liquor store,
run around the corner, pull off the ski mask I was wearing,
put on a different coat and walk right back into the place I just robbed.
Man, it was wild! They'd be so flipped out, they wouldn't know their own mothers.
I'd be standing there when they described what happened and who robbed 'em.
Half the time, they thought it was some spook that did it.
They'll see your face on the videotape, pal.
It just might be you they get.
Come on! Come on, move it!
OK, boys and girls. Let's play a little game of true confessions.
- Get away from him. Just get away. - Just checking his nose.
Now I know you two can't really be married.
I haven't seen you in a while,
but they woulda sent me papers if you were divorcing me.
So why don't you two lovebirds just tell me what the fuck is goin' on?
Tell me, goddammit!
-Knock it off in there! - You knock it the fuck off!
Stop it, Ray! Cut it out! Ray, stop it!
I'll tell you, all right?
He's just a guy. I picked him up on the street in New York.
We pretended to be married for Mama, and it just carried over to the reunion.
The guy's got a real wife and two real children.
- It's just a joke that got outta hand. - Bullshit!
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!
- Shut up in there! - You shut the fuck up, goddammit!
Ray...
I met him yesterday. There's nothing going on.
Nothing. OK?
Look at you. You look like a goddamn TV show.
Just like he does.
# Da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da.
I may not be educated, like Charlie-boy there,
but I am not stupid.
She's telling you the truth, Ray.
Is she?
Is she telling me the truth, Charlie?
Yes.
Yeah? Here...
Ray, you're making a big deal out of nothing!
- I'm sorry I lied to you, Charlie! - You're still lying!
I know for a fact that your friend isn't married.
- His wife left him because of you. - What? What?!
Are you out of your mind?!
I only met him yesterday!
How many times do you want me to say it?
Tell me, Charlie,
when did your wife leave you?
I can't imagine where you heard that, Ray. That's absolutely ridiculous.
- Tell me, Charlie. - It's not true.
I have a wife. I have a family. I have...
Forget it.
- Charlie... - Ow! Last September.
Last September?
You're a really good liar, Charlie.
Oooo-eee!
Charlie, this is Audrey. Audrey, this is Charlie.
Who's shittin' who here?
Unbelievable!
Let me ask you a question.
- Did you ever box? - No.
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- Here. Have a shot. - No. Thank you.
Audrey?
I used to spar around a lot in the joint.
It was just me and a bunch of the brothers.
They all thought I was crazy.
By the time I got out of there though, they all had respect for me, Charlie.
Got my nose broke three times in three years, but... what the hell?
A broken nose ain't gonna kill ya.
No, it won't kill you, Ray, but violence never solved anything.
What goes around, comes around. You're gonna learn that some day.
Ray, would you just get him outta here?
Shit, baby, he's gonna have the cops here before we get around the block.
Why? What is he gonna say? Nobody forced him to come along.
If he opens his mouth, he can take his house in the suburbs,
and his lawn and his station wagon,
and his normal life, and flush it right down the toilet.
Unless, of course, you were lying about that too, Charlie?
No, I'm not lying about that.
Do you understand the situation?
Yeah.
I'm sure you two will be very happy together.
Get the fuck out.
Old habits die hard, huh, baby?
Charlie!
- Fill her up? - Yeah, fill her up.
Fill her up?
Uh, yeah. You take credit cards... Nelson?
- Yeah, Charlie. All major brands. - How'd you know my name?
- Your tag. - Oh!
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
- All right, Charlie, that's $13.50. - Thanks, Nelson. Put it on there.
And put a soda on there too. And a road map.
Hey, anything you want, Charlie.
Excuse me, Joy.
- Hey, that shirt. What happened? - What?
- Your shirt? - Oh. I'm, uh... prone to nosebleeds, so...
- Yeah, let's put a shirt on. - Put a shirt on.
OK? And how about a hat?
You got it. Right here for you.
- And, uh... do you have any trousers? - No trousers. How about some shorts?
- Shorts? Yeah! Let's go with some shorts. - You're about a large, right?
Large. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good.
OK. How about some socks?
Socks? Yeah, put some socks on the...
- There you go. - Sounds good.
- Fix me up, Nelson. - Hey, Charlie? Attempt to be cool.
- Hey, you some kind of spy, Charlie? - Shh, Nelson!
OK...
- Sunglasses. I need sunglasses. - Nah, keep 'em. You're beautiful.
OK, all right.
- There you are. - OK.
You oughta really see somebody about that nose.
A broken nose ain't gonna kill ya, Nelson.
OK, there's that, there's this... OK, thank you.
- Hey. - All right, Nelson.
Hello. How are you?
Hi.
- Can I help you? - How much are these babies?
$49.95.
- Credit cards OK? - Sure.
Ring 'em up.
Will there be anything else?
Yeah.
Yeah. One of these shirts.
"I have recently completed managerial training for the LB Discount Shoe stores."
"It looks like I'll soon be living in Fairfield, Iowa,
where a new franchise has just opened." Oh, boy!
"Accompanying me will be my wife Joyce and three small fries,
Billy, 5, Tina, 3, and the newest addition, little Eric Junior, 11 months."
What a dumb shit!
- What? - I'm gonna change.
Yeah, I wanna see how that new suit looks on you.
- Hey, Audrey! - Yeah?
- I wanna see how that suit looks on you. - Wait!
- We going swimming or aren't we? - Just wait a minute.
Hey, Audrey, what's goin' on?
- Don't come in. - You all right?
Hey!
- Audrey!-
Come here!
What are you doing?
- It's over this way. - Stop it! Stop it, Ray!
Come on, I'll show you. Come on!
No, no...
You wanted to swim? You wanna swim, swim!
Asshole!
They look like a terrible couple.
- We're closed. - All I need is two minutes.
We're open tomorrow at seven.
I already know what I want. Come on. Please?
Mister? Do you need any help?
- No, I'm fine, thanks. - OK.
You like it around here?
It's OK.
Don't you get kinda bored?
Yeah, sometimes.
Sometimes?
Sometimes what?
Sometimes it's boring, or sometimes there's something to do?
Sometimes it's boring.
- What's your name? - Tracy.
Tracy, I'm Ray.
- Hi. - Hi.
OK. Fine. Here we go.
I'll have a JD burger and some fries. And some extra pickles.
And a beer and a coke.
- You got it. - Thanks.
Hey, fella, you using the telephone?
No, go ahead.
Sit down and relax and we'll get you some coffee.
Darlene? Coffee, please, for George.
- How about dessert? - Let me have the Rustler's Rhapsody.
- Rustler's Rhapsody. - Just a coffee for me, Darlene.
- In a flash. - You don't mind, do you, Ray?
You're outta your mind. You don't know what you're doin'.
Charlie!
You are one dumb son of a bitch!
I'm almost starting to like you, Charlie.
- Here you go. - Thanks, Darlene.
I want Lulu.
Is that your name this week? Lulu?
Yes.
You know, Charlie, she's not gonna be too happy
driving around in a station wagon the rest of her life.
You better think about that.
You better ask yourself if you really want her.
I really want her.
Awww.
Great.
Charlie, you gotta fight for a woman like this.
I don't have to fight you. We'll waltz outta here, and there's not a thing you can do.
Grrr!
Oh, Charlie. You are somethin'. You are somethin'!
Take a look over there.
Go ahead.
- Evening, officer. - How's it goin'?
Ray, you're a convicted felon in possession of a concealed weapon.
You robbed a grocery store, assaulted that poor kid with a gun.
You left Pennsylvania, which is gonna come as a surprise to your parole officer.
And I'd be willing to wager that Cadillac of yours is hot.
Charlie...
Now it's you with something to lose.
Fuck you.
- He's got you, Ray. - Fuck you too, Lulu.
Evening, officers.
- How ya doin'? - Oh, pretty good, thank you.
Hand over the car keys.
Come on, hand over the car keys.
At JD's - where else?
- Let's go. - You're gonna regret this.
- Well, life's full of regrets. - No.
You are really gonna regret this.
- Now your wallet. - Charlie, come on!
You think you're pretty smart, don't you, Charlie?
Pretty smart.
But look, Ray, just to show you there's no hard feelings,
this one's on me.
- Goodnight. - Goodnight.
The gentleman said you'd take care of this.
That son of a bitch.
Yow!
God, that was great!
Oh, man, that'll teach him to fool with Charlie Driggs, I'll tell you.
OK, liar. Get out!
- What, you jokin'? - You saved me, I saved you. Now get out!
- I'm not getting out of the car. - Get out of the fucking car!
- I'm in the middle of Virginia! - Charlie, go!
- No! I'm not... - Goddammit! Get out!
- It's the middle of the night! - Get out of the fucking car, Charlie!
OK...
What are you?
Aw...
You're... Sometimes I don't know whether you're kiddin' around or not.
Goddamn you, Charlie! I saw your wedding ring!
Shit, I saw the family pictures!
I get involved with a married man who's not even married?!
I was married when those pictures were taken.
Very funny.
I wear the ring because I hate to admit that my family fell apart.
I told you I was married to protect myself.
And then I was afraid that if I told you, you'd take off.
You're right, asshole. I would've.
- You were lying a blue streak to me too. - Exactly.
Oh, thank you, Lord!
Come in, come in. Come, come, come! Come around!
Come in! Come in! Come in! Come in!
OK...
I'll be back in a couple of days, OK? You gonna be here?
Did your sister really run off with a Bible salesman?
I swear to God. The religious types are the worst kind.
- I'll be back, OK? You'll be here? - Mm-hm.
OK, I better get going, all right?
- Go on, go on. Go home! - See ya.
Hurry up. Go on.
.. can't do anything but fail.
Did you see the SOS Jesus COD'd to you?
Are you saved?
Are you good?
Are you OK?
It's late.
Time to go.
Thanks, Reverend Jim. It's 5 o'clock right now, a.m., Baltimore time.
We're comin' at you live.
It's so strange.
- Did you say something? - I just don't wanna go to my apartment.
Shit...
Well...
you can stay at my place.
For tonight.
There's not much in the way of furniture, but there's plenty of room.
OK, thanks.
Audrey Hankel.
Yeah, uh... Stony Brook.
Charles Driggs.
Yeah, with a D. D-R, yeah.
Lemme have the address on that.
1427 Maple. 1427 Maple. Thanks.
- Where's the bathroom? - Down the hall, to the left.
Charlie...
Yeah?
What are you gonna do now you've seen how the other half lives?
The other half?
The other half of you.
Hiya, Charlie.
Ray!
Get up!
Let's see what you're made of now, Charlie!
Charlie?
Ray, stop it! You'll kill him!
I'm just warming up!
Get out of the way!
Ow!
I'm glad to see you finally made it to the suburbs, bitch!
Come here!
I don't care...
what she tells you, I know my wife.
And you white-bread VIP types just don't do it for her.
- You all right there, Charlie? - Charlie, I'm gonna get help!
Charlie!
Didn't I tell you to stay? Haven't you hurt me enough?
Look what you're doing to me! Get in here!
Why are you doing this to me? Shut up!
Come on in here, Charlie! Come on into your bedroom, Charlie!
Lulu!
Stop it, Ray! Stop it!
Charlie, are you OK?
Charlie!
- I hate you! - I hate you too!
- Lulu! - Charlie!
Charlie, come here! I got somethin' for ya!
Why can't you just give me a chance? Why?! Why?!
Stop it! Stop it!
No, no...
Oh... Oh, God!
Ray!
No! No!
No!
I hate you so much! Stop it!
Charlie!
No, Ray!
Shit, Charlie.
I understand that the break-in occurred an hour ago.
- Yeah. - Keys.
He smashed a window to gain entrance
and you were forcibly led into the house, Mr Driggs, through the back.
I understand that he manacled you at that time.
Mr Driggs, did you know him?
Did you know the guy?
He was my husband.
Your husband?
Ray Sinclair.
And what is your name?
Audrey.
Audrey, you wanna come with me, please?
Wait.
You're not... You're not taking her away because...
It's all right. It's OK, Mr Driggs. We just need to get more information.
Charles?
Larry!
Hi.
Listen, uh...
We're all real sorry about your leaving.
Oh, that's nice.
There's no way to get you to change your mind?
No. Nope, I don't think so, no.
- Is there anything I can do? - No. Everything's been taken care of.
Everything's fine.
Well...
Hey!
How do you figure a guy like Ray Sinclair?
Well...
Stay in touch. Promise?
Promise.
Hey, Larry.
It's better to be a live dog than a dead lion.
It's been good working with you, Charlie.
# Ooh, yeah
# You don't have to cry, girl
# As I look out my window
# I don't understand what I see
# Once again we are letting it happen
# Everywhere, fighting in the streets
# How can people be dying from hunger?
# How can they be dying for gasoline?
# Come here, my child, hold me for a moment
# Your eyes are too young for the suffering they've seen
- # You don't have to cry, girl - # Oh, you don't have to cry, girl
Who is it?
I'm looking for the woman in 3F. Lulu is her name, or Audrey.
I'm in 3F. You must want the girl that moved out.
Uh... did you talk to her? I mean, did she say...
Did she say where she was goin', or a forwarding address or anything?
No. I moved in, it was empty.
OK, thanks.
- Hey! - Yeah?
- Do you know what her rent was? - Her rent?
Yeah. This building is rent-stabilised, but I think the landlord is screwing me.
Yeah, well, it wouldn't surprise me.
# Oh, you don't have to cry, girl
# I'm here to dry your eyes, girl
# Here to dry your eyes, girl
# You don't have to cry, girl
# Oh, you don't have to worry any more
# I'm here to dry your eyes, girl
# We are stronger together, that's for sure
# Ooh, yeah
The MP would grab 'em and confiscate 'em,
and I'd take 'em back and I'd sell 'em again.
- Here's your check, sir. - Oh, thank you.
Hey! You didn't pay for your food. Where you think you're goin'?
- Come on, mister. I haven't got all day. - What?
- You didn't pay for your food. - Sure I paid, Dottie. I put $5 on the table.
Do you think I'm stupid?
Look, it's a mistake. It was a $3.15 bill, I left $5 on the table. That's a healthy tip.
- Do you expect to eat and not pay? - All right. It's not that big a deal to me.
- Keep the, uh... keep the change. - Sure.
You never said goodbye.
I never wanted to say goodbye.
Want a ride?
Sure, Audrey.
Why not?
# Oh-hoh!
# Right!
# Oh-hoh!
# Rip it
# Come shout and sing, join in the ring
# It could be queen or it could be king
# You go your way and I'll go mine
# As long as you just make it fine
# Come rain or shine, some drinkin' wine
# Some even dressed like Frankenstein
# Move up your waist, your bodyline
# But just you do it right on time
# Wild thing, oh-oh!
# It is a wild thing
# Come on, shake it
# Wild thing
# Lord
# Crazy colours in your hair
# Those funky shoes you always wear
# The things you got you can't even share
# Complaining that you're on welfare
# Stay with the beat and move your feet
# And do it till you feel the heat
# Oh!
# Come on, come, on, wild thing
# Oh-oh!
# It is a wild thing
# Lord, it is a wild thing
# Do it, y'all, shake it
# Wild thing
# Lord
# Come shout and sing, join in the ring
# It could be queen or it could be king
# You go your way and I'll go mine
# As long as you just make it fine
# Come rain or shine, some drinkin' wine
# Some even dressed like Frankenstein
# Move up your waist, your bodyline
# But just you do it right on time
# Wild thing
# Oh-oh!
# It is a wild thing
# Lord
# It is a wild thing
# Shake it
# It is a wild thing
# Lord
# Me shout and sing, join in the ring
# It could be queen or it could be king
# You go your way and I'll go mine
# As long as you just make it fine
# Come rain or shine, some drinking wine
# Some even dressed like Frankenstein
# Move up your waist, your bodyline
# But just you groove it right on time
# Wild thing
# In a summer's day, in a summer's day
# Wild thing
# Oh-oh
# It is a wild thing
# Shake it
# It is a wild thing
# Sock it to me
# Crazy colours in your hair
# Those funky shoes you always wear
# The things you got you can't even share
# Complaining that you're on welfare
# Stay with the beat and move your feet
# And do it till you feel the heat
# Wild thing
# Oh-oh
# Sock it to me
# It is a wild thing
# Do it, y'all
# It is a wild thing
# Ga-Iong, ga-Iong, ga-Iong, ga-Iong, ga-Iong
# Wild thing
# Lord, it is a wild thing
# Come on
# Just do your own thing
# It is a wild thing
# Lord
# Just do your own thing