1
00:00:01,409 --> 00:00:03,629
To you!
2
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:06,798
That was weird.
3
00:00:06,865 --> 00:00:09,634
How can we only sing the last two words?
What happening to the birthday part?
4
00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:12,345
Well, you know Troy's a Jehovah's witness.
He doesn't celebrate birthdays.
5
00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:14,517
Annie and I did our best did our best to keep
the language on the cake compliant
6
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,683
"Hello during a random dessert,
7
00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:19,462
the month and day
of which coincide numerically
8
00:00:19,463 --> 00:00:21,441
with your expulsion from a uterus."
9
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,899
- You guys, I never cry, but...
- All right.
10
00:00:25,423 --> 00:00:26,743
Happy expulsion, Troy,
11
00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:29,181
but after cake,
we cram for realsies.
12
00:00:29,382 --> 00:00:30,905
Guys, finals are coming up.
13
00:00:30,999 --> 00:00:33,950
Yeah, this group is starting to use
special occasions to avoid studying.
14
00:00:34,152 --> 00:00:38,371
I mean, last week we had fondue and played boggle
because Shirley's niece took her bath.
15
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,702
- With bubbles.
- Thank you.
16
00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:41,670
- It's a milestone.
- Funny, because last week
17
00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:44,714
was my birthday,
and nobody noticed and nobody cared.
18
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:48,902
Pierce...
19
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,426
You don't remember
the huge party we threw?
20
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,490
We need to talk
about those pain killers you're taking.
21
00:00:53,491 --> 00:00:54,921
Because I don't think
you're remembering anything.
22
00:00:54,928 --> 00:00:58,422
- That was a huge party.
- It was the best party of my life!
23
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,101
Gotcha!
24
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,731
Of course I remember my birthday.
What a party.
25
00:01:05,747 --> 00:01:09,912
- Yeah, you still owe me for the cake deposit.
- Oh, you think I don't know that?
26
00:01:10,474 --> 00:01:11,594
Troy...
27
00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:13,875
Troy...
28
00:01:15,436 --> 00:01:19,936
Community 2x10 - Mixology Certification
29
00:01:19,937 --> 00:01:22,737
Sync and corrected by vNaru
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:42,818 --> 00:01:46,796
Kick puncher Detroit!
No way! This is sold out everywhere!
31
00:01:46,984 --> 00:01:50,027
Not everywhere. I got a cousin in Detroit.
They're not crazy about it up there.
32
00:01:50,107 --> 00:01:52,323
This is how you turn 20.
Thanks!
33
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,757
- There's strawberries under there.
- Let me, help you with that.
34
00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:58,367
- I broke my legs, not my gender.
- Ok.
35
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,246
While we're...
Watching this unfold,
36
00:02:02,116 --> 00:02:04,278
some birthday facts to enjoy.
37
00:02:04,765 --> 00:02:06,668
Troy's birthday is tomorrow,
December 4th.
38
00:02:07,078 --> 00:02:09,879
Also born that day, Tyra Banks, Marisa Tomei,
39
00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:12,757
and French cinematographer
Claude Renoir.
40
00:02:12,859 --> 00:02:16,903
- Yes! Jackpot!
- On the Chinese calendar, Troy is a horse.
41
00:02:16,935 --> 00:02:17,886
Like me.
44
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:25,478
I remember because I'm determined,
self-possessed, and mendacious.
45
00:02:26,026 --> 00:02:28,523
Pierce, what is this?
What are you doing? Explain yourself.
46
00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,483
Who made this crappy cake anyway?
47
00:02:30,571 --> 00:02:32,735
- A cake maker. At a cake store.
- They did it wrong.
48
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,237
Troy, we're 1990. We're horses.
49
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:37,154
- I was born in '89.
- Then...
50
00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:39,534
You were born 21 years ago.
51
00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:42,996
Which would make me 20,
because everyone is 10 for two years.
52
00:02:44,462 --> 00:02:47,311
Because fifth grade is really hard
for every... one.
53
00:02:47,436 --> 00:02:49,169
Mom, how many lies have I been living!
54
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:52,151
Troy, do you realize
at midnight you are turning 21
55
00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:54,507
as in "the legal drinking age"?
56
00:02:56,511 --> 00:02:58,762
This party just became unacceptable.
We're going out.
57
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:01,598
Yeap, but you were just complaining
about us having too many parties.
58
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:04,225
- Too many lame ones. This is real.
- What makes it real?
59
00:03:04,272 --> 00:03:06,749
Well Shirley, think of it
as Troy taking his first bath,
60
00:03:06,995 --> 00:03:08,480
only the bubbles are his manhood.
61
00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:10,482
Yes. I wanna bathe in manhood.
62
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,607
I'm taking you to L street.
63
00:03:14,807 --> 00:03:15,779
Douche street.
64
00:03:15,851 --> 00:03:17,927
Oh, of course you hate cool bars.
65
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,212
I don't suppose
you've ever even been to L street.
66
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,786
No. But I also haven't been
to Beirut.
67
00:03:23,877 --> 00:03:25,859
But I'm sure I will go one day,
68
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,737
because I hear they have lots
of important cultural...
69
00:03:29,122 --> 00:03:30,787
Oh! It's my birthday
70
00:03:30,788 --> 00:03:33,569
Unlike L street, which is douchey.
71
00:03:33,773 --> 00:03:36,346
- Alright, let's hear your great suggestions.
- The red door.
72
00:03:36,471 --> 00:03:38,522
Oh, yeah, the red door!
The red hipster.
73
00:03:38,647 --> 00:03:39,619
Not hipster.
74
00:03:39,744 --> 00:03:41,971
Hipsters haven't discovered it yet.
It's underound.
75
00:03:42,511 --> 00:03:44,695
Why don't we go someplace fun
like peg leg Pablo's?
76
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:47,571
- They serve virgin mudslides.
- Those are milk shakes, Shirley.
77
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,738
You guys!
All you think about is yourselves.
78
00:03:49,739 --> 00:03:52,415
Think about me. I'm 19.
I can't get into bars.
79
00:03:52,606 --> 00:03:55,206
- Well...
- Yeah, that must be tough, I was in those shoes
80
00:03:55,211 --> 00:03:56,419
Okay, well...
81
00:03:57,001 --> 00:03:57,779
Have fun.
82
00:04:00,756 --> 00:04:03,132
- Fine. I'll get Annie an ID.
- A fake ID.?
83
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:04,875
It'll real. It just won't be yours.
84
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:06,356
I will see you at the red door.
85
00:04:06,357 --> 00:04:08,265
Nice try. We're not going
to red poet's society.
86
00:04:08,534 --> 00:04:10,639
Well, we're not going
to douche street either.
87
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,616
Fine. Count of three,
name the least offensive bar
88
00:04:12,617 --> 00:04:15,011
you've ever been to.
One, two, three.
89
00:04:15,071 --> 00:04:16,450
- Flannahan's hole.
- Flannahan's hole.
90
00:04:16,494 --> 00:04:19,300
- Done. Troy, you ride with me?
- Do you even have to ask?
91
00:04:20,221 --> 00:04:22,554
- Pierce, do you wanna ride in my van?
- I'm not a disabled.
92
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:24,369
I don't need people helping me
93
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:27,923
doing normal things and doting over me and...
Why don't you just leave...
94
00:04:29,388 --> 00:04:31,264
Okay!
I'll beat you there.
95
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:34,596
I don't think this girl
looks very much like me.
96
00:04:34,721 --> 00:04:37,735
- Come on, she's a white brunette.
- So is Anne Hathaway.
97
00:04:37,891 --> 00:04:38,611
Go on?
98
00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:41,017
What's your friend doing
with a stack of other people's IDS?
99
00:04:41,162 --> 00:04:43,218
I don't know,
sometimes people sell their ID
100
00:04:43,343 --> 00:04:45,243
when they're leaving the state
and need cash.
101
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:46,759
So she's a drifter.
102
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:48,288
A floater.
103
00:04:49,086 --> 00:04:50,017
An urchin.
104
00:04:50,018 --> 00:04:52,238
Caroline Decker
from Corpus Christi, Texas.
105
00:04:52,886 --> 00:04:53,877
Texas?
106
00:04:54,264 --> 00:04:56,675
- Do I need an accent?
- You don't need an accent.
107
00:04:57,458 --> 00:05:00,759
- Howdy, y'all. I'm Caroline Decker.
- Please don't do that.
108
00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:02,218
I guar-un-tee!
109
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,011
- That's Cajun.
- Hihi, Cajun.
110
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,431
- I should research Corpus Christi.
- Annie, relax.
111
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,839
I'm not a relaxed person, Britta.
I think ahead.
112
00:05:08,872 --> 00:05:11,384
I prepare.
I don't improvise my life like...
113
00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:12,765
Caroline Decker,
114
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:15,940
who probably has really bad credit
and an unfinished mermaid tattoo.
115
00:05:17,136 --> 00:05:19,341
- What?
- Flannahan's hole is closed.
116
00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:21,054
That's not a...
117
00:05:21,179 --> 00:05:23,638
I'm not being clever.
I mean it's out of business.
118
00:05:23,639 --> 00:05:25,877
Well, that's what they get
for trying to please everyone.
119
00:05:26,571 --> 00:05:28,781
- So now what?
- There's a place at third and water.
120
00:05:28,906 --> 00:05:31,976
It's fun, divey,
but not staph infection divey.
121
00:05:32,308 --> 00:05:35,486
It's either got a gross name
or an ironically fancy one.
122
00:05:35,746 --> 00:05:36,729
- Possibly both.
- Oh
123
00:05:36,854 --> 00:05:38,838
The ballroom. Good.
Go to third and water.
124
00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:40,438
Wait, what?
125
00:05:40,563 --> 00:05:42,511
- That wasn't the deal!
- Shirley's pushing back.
126
00:05:42,636 --> 00:05:44,692
Why, 'cause they don't have
plastic menus and milk shakes?
127
00:05:44,739 --> 00:05:47,159
- Why, 'cause they don't have...
- Don't repeat that, you goon!
128
00:05:47,255 --> 00:05:48,607
Jeez. Look, just...
129
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,991
The women are your problem,
and the men are going to the ballroom.
130
00:05:52,116 --> 00:05:54,063
And now I guess I am being clever.
131
00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:57,899
So, plastic menus are bad?
132
00:05:58,194 --> 00:06:00,597
See, this is the kinda stuff
I need to learn.
133
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:03,035
Plastic menus seems like
a great idea to me
134
00:06:03,043 --> 00:06:05,213
for when you spill something on them,
and your mom says,
135
00:06:05,237 --> 00:06:07,274
"Hey Troy, you're ruining fuddruckers
for everyone."
136
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:10,030
Troy, you're entering
the next chapter of your life.
137
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,193
Sadly, it's the final chapter,
but it's also the longest.
138
00:06:13,318 --> 00:06:15,208
And if you play it right, the best.
139
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,552
You and I...
We're just two guys now.
140
00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:19,754
Peers. Equals.
141
00:06:20,431 --> 00:06:23,299
So awesome. Maybe later
you'll let me drive your car.
142
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,460
No.
143
00:06:35,235 --> 00:06:36,646
Hello, former enemy.
144
00:06:37,445 --> 00:06:39,446
He's 21 at midnight.
Cool?
145
00:06:39,609 --> 00:06:41,281
- Yeah. Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
146
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,133
Oh, I don't like this place.
147
00:06:44,268 --> 00:06:46,283
You made that clear, Shirley.
Oy vey.
148
00:06:46,284 --> 00:06:49,781
- Caroline Decker from Corpus Christi.
- Annie, you don't need an accent.
149
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,744
If my ID says Texas,
they'll be suspicious.
150
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:54,637
They're not gonna question your ID,
because you're a hot girl.
151
00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:56,875
We're good for business.
The hotter you are,
152
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,460
the more they'll risk the fine.
153
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,299
- Howdy?
- Go ahead.
154
00:07:15,528 --> 00:07:17,053
Can't be too careful.
155
00:07:17,301 --> 00:07:18,426
I understand.
156
00:07:20,412 --> 00:07:22,925
Hey Shirley!
Welcome back!
157
00:07:24,957 --> 00:07:27,882
You don't know me. Ok?
158
00:07:28,109 --> 00:07:29,229
Yeah
159
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:39,209
- This place is all right!
- Yeah. It's okay.
160
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,211
These pictures must be
of all the regulars.
161
00:07:41,624 --> 00:07:43,756
You think someday,
I can make it up to this wall?
162
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:47,342
I don't say this often Troy, but;
Dream a little smaller.
163
00:07:49,075 --> 00:07:50,999
- Can I get you guys anything?
- Oh!
164
00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:53,757
- I'm okay!
- Another MacAllan. Neat.
165
00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,687
- Vodka, neat, four olives.
- I'm waiting till midnight.
166
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:58,895
Sweetie?
167
00:08:00,357 --> 00:08:01,106
Water!
168
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:04,109
- Where's that accent from?
- Corpus Christi. Texas.
169
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,112
- 78418.
- What are you doin' here in town?
170
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,781
Not much, I reckon...
Just driftin',
171
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,477
floatin', Spittin' in the wind.
172
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,702
General waywardness.
173
00:08:15,482 --> 00:08:16,538
All righty.
174
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:21,084
Annie, you're in the bar.
You don't have to be from Texas anymore.
175
00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:23,287
I don't know how it works.
I'm not a barfly, Britta.
176
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,921
They have Asteroids.
Slide out.
177
00:08:27,177 --> 00:08:29,217
I'm gonna go
take a little look around.
178
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,093
Me too.
179
00:08:30,217 --> 00:08:31,237
Annie.
180
00:08:31,318 --> 00:08:34,222
- Don't accept any drinks.
- Or invitations to the bathroom.
181
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,059
So what are you gonna order
for your first legal drink?
182
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,894
- What should I get?
- Whatever you want.
183
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,855
- No wrong answers.
- I like beer.
184
00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:44,028
- Don't order beer.
- You've had beer.
185
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:47,455
- What should I get?
- What do you think you might like?
186
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,062
- I mean, It's your world now.
- Follow your heart.
187
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:54,200
My uncle Carl played a role in my life.
He taught me how to throw a football.
188
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,101
He passed away this year.
189
00:08:57,226 --> 00:08:59,038
His favorite drink was
a seven and seven.
190
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,292
- Don't order that.
- That's an awful drink.
191
00:09:02,414 --> 00:09:04,373
- You're better than that.
- Horrible. Is a high school drink for girls.
192
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,338
Actually, I'll have a root beer
instead of that water.
193
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,564
- Sure thing.
- Thank you kindly.
194
00:09:10,353 --> 00:09:12,320
Y'all are so nice in this town.
195
00:09:13,269 --> 00:09:15,930
I'm Caroline.
From Corpus Christi.
196
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,793
Grew up on a trout farm.
197
00:09:19,485 --> 00:09:20,750
Deedly-do.
198
00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:24,272
Careful.
199
00:09:24,691 --> 00:09:25,959
You score any higher on this thing,
200
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,688
the Rylans are gonna recruit you
to fight against the Ko-dan empire.
201
00:09:29,374 --> 00:09:30,834
The last starfighter.
202
00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:32,936
Did you get
the 25th anniversary blu-ray?
203
00:09:33,061 --> 00:09:35,459
Was scorpius half-scarran,
half-peacekeeper?
204
00:09:35,584 --> 00:09:37,911
Frell, yes,
I got Starfighter on blu-ray.
205
00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:42,387
You're a fan of the Sci-Fi
original series Farscape.
206
00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:45,086
Can I buy you a drink?
207
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:53,269
You got some id?
208
00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:56,971
Very funny, punk.
Get outta my way!
209
00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:01,267
I don't know how people like you
even get jobs today.
210
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,728
Do you need help, man?
211
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,566
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
212
00:10:04,892 --> 00:10:06,397
A little turning of the tables.
213
00:10:09,122 --> 00:10:11,921
- The turning of what tables?
- I don't know! Leave me alone!
214
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,823
So I punched her.
215
00:10:17,948 --> 00:10:19,089
Right in the face.
216
00:10:19,214 --> 00:10:20,671
Your probation officer?
217
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:24,415
- Didn't you get in trouble?
- Hell, yes, I got in trouble!
218
00:10:24,714 --> 00:10:27,093
Wasn't the first time.
Won't be the last.
219
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,589
I'm not exactly known
for my sound judgment.
220
00:10:29,939 --> 00:10:33,341
Back in Corpus christi,
they call me capricious Caroline.
221
00:10:33,932 --> 00:10:35,469
What's capricious mean?
222
00:10:36,943 --> 00:10:38,337
Probably means I'm...
223
00:10:38,462 --> 00:10:42,126
too busy livin' life
to be learnin' $5-words.
224
00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:44,602
Hot damn!
225
00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:46,529
With an aged scotch, never use ice.
226
00:10:46,681 --> 00:10:47,856
Never use ice. Got it.
227
00:10:48,295 --> 00:10:49,814
- Why?
- Destroys it.
228
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:54,237
At most, what you want, two drops
of spring water. Activates the flavor.
229
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:57,180
Good lord. Do they have the rules
to high-maintenance poser drinking
230
00:10:57,305 --> 00:10:58,783
on the wall at L street?
231
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,702
- Do they?
- Poser drinking?
232
00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:03,758
Hey, miss vodka, need four olives.
What's that called,
233
00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:06,446
- the too-cool-to-care-tini?
- Is it?
234
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,664
I bet the forced starkness
of that drink order
235
00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:10,837
turns a lotta horn-rimmed heads
at the red door.
236
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,096
I can't wait to understand
these arguments!
237
00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:15,800
Hey, y'all, another round for ya.
Everybody holdin' up?
238
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,303
I'll be back in two shakes
of a rabbit's ass.
239
00:11:19,624 --> 00:11:21,155
Who the hell was that?
240
00:11:22,338 --> 00:11:25,101
I gotta go see a woman
about the female equivalent of a horse.
241
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,270
Classy.
Way to show Troy the ropes.
242
00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:28,837
Shut up, L street.
243
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,992
That woman is a hurricane.
244
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:34,512
Yeah
245
00:11:35,914 --> 00:11:37,130
Hurricanes are bad Troy.
246
00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,198
I know.
247
00:11:43,226 --> 00:11:45,529
I always thought is possible, that
the wormhole Crichton can fell through
248
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,640
moved him across not only space
but also time,
249
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:49,750
which would suggest that the sebaceans
are our future selves
250
00:11:50,268 --> 00:11:52,976
and Crichton is longing
for a planet that no longer exists.
251
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,381
You're really nursing that beer.
252
00:11:59,615 --> 00:12:01,470
Which it make sense, because,
what kind of wormhole would it be
253
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,178
if it could only move from one place to another
within the same galaxy on the same day?
254
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,608
You know, speaking of wormholes,
255
00:12:06,381 --> 00:12:08,188
what do you say we use one to...
256
00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:11,481
teleport this conversation
someplace a little more private?
257
00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:13,195
That doesn't make any sense.
258
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,397
Wormholes and teleportation
are two different things.
259
00:12:15,522 --> 00:12:17,654
- That's what I've been talking the whole time.
- I noticed.
260
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,030
Cheers.
261
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:21,902
I followed that band phish,
spells it with "ph".
262
00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:23,785
I lived in parking lots
where they played.
263
00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:26,277
I don't even like their music.
I did it to see if I could do it.
264
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,789
Guess what.
I could!
265
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,589
- So what now?
- I dunno!
266
00:12:30,086 --> 00:12:34,046
Even if I planned it, plans fall off me
like chicken crap off an armadilla.
267
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,082
Annie's the one that plans things,
not me.
268
00:12:37,207 --> 00:12:39,661
Annie's my friend.
She goes to school here.
269
00:12:40,087 --> 00:12:42,387
Thinks she's got it all figured out.
270
00:12:42,786 --> 00:12:45,023
She wants to major
in healthcare management.
271
00:12:45,148 --> 00:12:46,224
What does that even mean?
272
00:12:46,648 --> 00:12:48,814
- No idea.
- I'll tell you what it means.
273
00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:51,651
It means a master's degree,
followed by an internship.
274
00:12:51,776 --> 00:12:54,882
She's got the next 15 years of her life
all mapped out,
275
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:58,278
and all she gotta do now
is just follow it or screw it up.
276
00:12:58,493 --> 00:13:01,706
- Another soda?
- Actually, gimme a screwdriver.
277
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,770
I got no place to be.
278
00:13:04,276 --> 00:13:05,847
What am I... Annie?
279
00:13:06,676 --> 00:13:09,454
The first season, when you watch it the 2nd time,
is better than the 3rd season,
280
00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,073
and the 4th season,
when you watch it the 5th time...
281
00:13:11,074 --> 00:13:13,817
- Ok, uhm, what's your name?
- Abed.
282
00:13:14,102 --> 00:13:15,517
- Abed, I'm Robert.
- Hey Robert.
283
00:13:15,518 --> 00:13:17,844
Abed, would you like to have...
284
00:13:18,508 --> 00:13:20,842
gay sex...
with me?
285
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:22,345
No, thank you.
286
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,930
Okay, so...
What is wrong with you,
287
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,921
that you can sit here
this whole time
288
00:13:28,046 --> 00:13:31,311
and never pick up on the fact
that a man is hitting on you?
289
00:13:31,479 --> 00:13:33,710
- Oh, I actually did picked up on it after a while.
- You actually...
290
00:13:34,765 --> 00:13:35,785
and...?
291
00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:37,442
I really, really like
talking about Farscape.
292
00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:44,783
- It's a really good show.
- Stargate's better.
293
00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:50,580
Battery depleted.
294
00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:51,814
Oh, man
295
00:13:56,884 --> 00:13:58,046
That is wrong!
296
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:01,274
Wait.
297
00:14:02,544 --> 00:14:03,635
Hey, there!
298
00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:05,261
What you been up to?
299
00:14:05,398 --> 00:14:06,896
I was just praying
300
00:14:06,897 --> 00:14:08,873
for these poor souls
in these photographs.
301
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,227
That's nice, but...
302
00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:12,894
you missed one.
303
00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:15,897
I found it in the ladies room.
304
00:14:16,886 --> 00:14:19,076
- Give that to me.
- No, no, come on!
305
00:14:19,201 --> 00:14:22,320
Don't feel bad.
This makes us like you way more.
306
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:24,781
- You think this is really funny.
- Yeah, a little.
307
00:14:25,236 --> 00:14:26,724
I had some bad years.
308
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:28,615
With a chaser.
309
00:14:28,616 --> 00:14:32,065
Come on. It's a funny picture,
because you act so perfect all the time.
310
00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:34,374
And because you look like a zombie,
311
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,314
but it's not funny when you're sad.
312
00:14:36,439 --> 00:14:39,170
We're on your team, relax.
Sit down, it's my birthday.
313
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:40,651
Give it to me.
314
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:41,923
Give it to me.
315
00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:45,427
See you all on Monday.
316
00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:47,989
Jeez
317
00:14:48,737 --> 00:14:49,848
Blue town.
318
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,600
Shirley. Wait.
319
00:14:54,216 --> 00:14:55,191
What?
320
00:14:55,192 --> 00:14:58,361
- Nothing. Get out of my way!
- I can't get out of your way.
321
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,817
I'm stuck in this pl...
The chair broke...
322
00:15:00,985 --> 00:15:02,327
I mean, I can't get...
323
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,321
Could you please help me?
324
00:15:06,449 --> 00:15:07,407
Pretty please?
325
00:15:09,728 --> 00:15:11,075
Thank you, Shirley.
326
00:15:11,516 --> 00:15:12,912
You're welcome, jackass.
327
00:15:15,503 --> 00:15:17,318
Hey, It's my birthday, and
328
00:15:17,823 --> 00:15:21,546
technically, I'm not allowed to drink
for another 45 seconds.
329
00:15:21,714 --> 00:15:23,584
It'll be 30 seconds
by the time I'm done saying this.
330
00:15:23,585 --> 00:15:27,019
- But can I have a seven and seven?
- It's on the house.
331
00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:28,419
Happy birthday, kid.
332
00:15:35,419 --> 00:15:38,076
I prefer that to avatar.
I'd rather have my eyes gouged out.
333
00:15:38,077 --> 00:15:41,594
Imagine the hurt locker as radio play,
would be totally horrible and stupid...
334
00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:50,629
Big boy.
Big, big boy.
335
00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:52,471
You're my big boy.
336
00:16:16,053 --> 00:16:17,685
I think I owe you a birthday.
337
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:18,853
I'm cool.
338
00:16:19,315 --> 00:16:21,189
I always wanted to drive this thing.
339
00:16:21,695 --> 00:16:22,815
What?!
340
00:16:24,089 --> 00:16:25,301
This is my car?
341
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:27,523
- Don't crash it.
- I'm not gonna crash it!
342
00:16:27,648 --> 00:16:28,691
Crash it, Troy.
343
00:16:28,692 --> 00:16:30,125
Go to sleep Britta.
Go to sleep.
344
00:16:30,164 --> 00:16:31,741
Crash his car, Troy!
345
00:16:32,088 --> 00:16:34,309
Seems like a really dark chapter
in our group story.
346
00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:36,788
- Go to sleep, Abed.
- Cool.
347
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:40,280
Hey, that's the place
that we shoulda gone to tonight!
348
00:16:40,405 --> 00:16:41,668
Yeah, L street. Exactly.
349
00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:44,295
It's the red door, stupid!
350
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:48,046
- You see a sign that says L street?
- L street is too cool to have a sign.
351
00:16:48,171 --> 00:16:50,510
It's called L street
after the street it's on.
352
00:16:52,426 --> 00:16:54,293
The red door's on L street.
353
00:16:54,418 --> 00:16:56,118
L street has a red door.
354
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:01,134
It's the same bar?
355
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:04,134
You two have been saying
one bar is lame
356
00:17:04,259 --> 00:17:06,813
and the other one is awesome,
all night...
357
00:17:08,211 --> 00:17:10,822
and it's the same bar?
358
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:16,311
He probably was around Friday nights,
which was lame.
359
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,370
You wish!
360
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:18,998
Stop. Just stop.
361
00:17:19,123 --> 00:17:20,848
I just spent the last two years,
362
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,317
thinking that you guys
knew more than me about life,
363
00:17:23,934 --> 00:17:26,796
and I just found out
that you guys are just as dumb as me.
364
00:17:28,685 --> 00:17:29,758
Duh-doy.
365
00:17:29,938 --> 00:17:31,692
Yeah, duh-doy.
366
00:17:33,488 --> 00:17:34,488
Got it.
367
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:36,231
Duh-doy.
368
00:17:37,672 --> 00:17:38,792
Duh-doy.
369
00:17:39,299 --> 00:17:42,270
You can take me home first.
I only live a few blocks from here.
370
00:17:42,576 --> 00:17:43,532
You do?
371
00:17:43,657 --> 00:17:46,024
This is a really
terrible neighborhood.
372
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:47,327
Yeah.
373
00:17:50,099 --> 00:17:51,446
This is my apartment.
374
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:54,949
Weird night, huh?
375
00:17:55,153 --> 00:17:56,073
Yeah...
376
00:17:56,134 --> 00:17:57,613
Alcohol makes people sad.
377
00:17:57,927 --> 00:17:59,871
It's like the lifetime movies
of beverages.
378
00:18:00,297 --> 00:18:02,081
I pretended to be
a different person tonight.
379
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,042
Abed does that three times a week.
380
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:06,575
But I did it because
I didn't wanna be me.
381
00:18:07,348 --> 00:18:08,798
I did it because...
382
00:18:09,511 --> 00:18:11,007
I'm not sure who I am.
383
00:18:11,484 --> 00:18:14,801
Admit it, we went to school together for 4 years,
and you didn't even know me.
384
00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:16,512
Yeah, but...
385
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:17,804
I know you now.
386
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:18,890
You're Annie.
387
00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:20,683
You like puzzles and...
388
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,742
little monsters on your pencil
and some guy named Mark Ruffalo.
389
00:18:24,391 --> 00:18:26,876
You're a fierce competitor
and a sore loser.
390
00:18:27,682 --> 00:18:31,250
And you expect everybody
to be better than who they are,
391
00:18:31,346 --> 00:18:34,438
and you expect yourself
to be better than everyone.
392
00:18:35,613 --> 00:18:36,658
Which is cool.
393
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:45,417
Good night.
394
00:18:48,011 --> 00:18:50,588
Guess everyone's gonna be
pretty embarrassed on Monday?
395
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:51,700
No.
396
00:18:51,741 --> 00:18:55,691
Everybody just got a little bit drunk.
Nobody did anything that bad, right?
397
00:19:01,838 --> 00:19:03,467
No, wait, wait, wait.
398
00:19:04,952 --> 00:19:06,202
What are we doing?
399
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:10,086
- Yeah, what are we doing?
- This is a bad idea, right?
400
00:19:10,602 --> 00:19:12,523
Yeah.
401
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,679
Ok,
402
00:19:23,065 --> 00:19:25,165
I flew off the handle earlier.
403
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,099
I apologize.
404
00:19:31,451 --> 00:19:34,090
- They were making out.
- Abed, why would you say that?
405
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:36,604
Why would you do it in front of me?
I'm not a coat rack.
406
00:19:36,962 --> 00:19:38,082
Abed.
407
00:19:38,638 --> 00:19:40,054
No one likes a tattle tail.
408
00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:44,506
Happy birthday, Troy.
409
00:19:45,987 --> 00:19:46,936
Thanks.
410
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:49,708
You're a man now.
411
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:05,246
- I don't think this will be big enough.
- Just try it, we're so close!
412
00:20:05,732 --> 00:20:07,021
All right. Breathe in.
413
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:12,643
Arms.
414
00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:21,135
- 157!
- We did it!
415
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,256
Yes.
416
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:24,266
That you?
417
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,620
Yeah.
418
00:20:26,174 --> 00:20:27,274
Little help?
419
00:20:28,189 --> 00:20:30,740
- Hurry. I think it's a girl!
- Left side or right side?
420
00:20:30,865 --> 00:20:32,832
- Left side.
- Got it. Tell me when I'm close.
421
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:33,953
Ok.