1 00:00:01,179 --> 00:00:03,117 It`s H, O... H, A, W, T... 2 00:00:03,118 --> 00:00:05,011 Guys! What happened? 3 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,502 Apparently they found him unconscious 4 00:00:06,503 --> 00:00:07,765 on a park bench. 5 00:00:08,023 --> 00:00:09,195 Oh, my god! 6 00:00:09,214 --> 00:00:10,018 Is he okay? 7 00:00:10,019 --> 00:00:11,838 We don't know. We just got here. 8 00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:13,718 He's ready for visitors now. 9 00:00:13,719 --> 00:00:15,190 He's in 10-23. 10 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:18,805 Hi. 11 00:00:19,084 --> 00:00:21,510 Oh, welcome, my old friends. 12 00:00:22,418 --> 00:00:24,105 - Welcome. - Pierce, what happened? 13 00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:25,831 We were all so worried. 14 00:00:25,832 --> 00:00:26,745 It was the pills. 15 00:00:26,746 --> 00:00:28,037 They just took me over. 16 00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:31,490 I saw awful, horrible things. Demons, aliens, 17 00:00:32,519 --> 00:00:36,571 critters 3, something called Bruce Willis surrogates. 18 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:38,993 Abed, what are you guys doing? 19 00:00:39,168 --> 00:00:40,731 It's ok, just act natural. 20 00:00:41,216 --> 00:00:42,518 Pierce asked me to document his life 21 00:00:42,519 --> 00:00:44,171 for historical purposes. 22 00:00:44,264 --> 00:00:46,062 At first, I said, "no," because at the risk 23 00:00:46,063 --> 00:00:47,856 of sounding overly sensitive, I feel intensely bored 24 00:00:47,857 --> 00:00:49,490 by Pierce as a subject. 25 00:00:49,776 --> 00:00:51,481 But I'm excited about the narrative facility 26 00:00:51,482 --> 00:00:52,814 of the documentary format. 27 00:00:52,815 --> 00:00:53,965 It's easier to tell a complex story 28 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:54,746 when you can just cut to people 29 00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:56,253 explaining things to the camera. 30 00:00:56,254 --> 00:00:58,118 I've called everyone here so that I could 31 00:00:58,119 --> 00:00:59,558 put my house in order, 32 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,962 bequeath parting gifts, say my final words 33 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,144 to each of you. 34 00:01:05,145 --> 00:01:06,558 Final words? 35 00:01:06,795 --> 00:01:08,560 - You're gonna kill us? - No, dummy. 36 00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:10,333 The pills wiped me out. 37 00:01:11,545 --> 00:01:12,660 I'm dying. 38 00:01:14,936 --> 00:01:16,363 I'm not really dying. 39 00:01:17,064 --> 00:01:19,056 Over the last few weeks, it's become apparent 40 00:01:19,057 --> 00:01:21,655 how little respect this group has for me. 41 00:01:22,354 --> 00:01:26,277 So I've summoned them here to exact my revenge. 44 00:01:33,895 --> 00:01:38,415 Sync by vNaru - Corrected by addic7ed.com www.addic7ed.com 45 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,182 I'm so sad. I don't know what to do. 46 00:01:58,183 --> 00:01:59,366 Usually, if I need to cheer up, 47 00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:01,276 I just make fun of Pierce, but now... 48 00:02:01,805 --> 00:02:03,213 It'd just make me sadder. 49 00:02:03,569 --> 00:02:05,296 It's Gregory Hines all over again. 50 00:02:05,297 --> 00:02:06,743 Look, I'm sure he'll be fine. 51 00:02:06,744 --> 00:02:08,867 You know how dramatic Pierce gets. 52 00:02:08,868 --> 00:02:09,663 Remember when he had the hiccups 53 00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:11,221 and pulled the fire alarm? 54 00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:12,247 Let's just try to relax. 55 00:02:12,248 --> 00:02:13,804 He's here because we relaxed. 56 00:02:13,805 --> 00:02:15,543 No, he's here because he relaxed, 57 00:02:15,544 --> 00:02:17,322 a handful of pills at a time. 58 00:02:17,772 --> 00:02:19,316 That's all over now. 59 00:02:19,317 --> 00:02:20,930 We're here for him, so there's no point 60 00:02:20,931 --> 00:02:22,121 in feeling bad. 61 00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:23,378 We know there's no point, Jeff. 62 00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:24,987 We kind of just felt like feeling it. 63 00:02:24,988 --> 00:02:26,895 Yeah, Jeff. What are you? Abed? 64 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:27,895 Oh, sorry, Abed. 65 00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:29,338 No problem. Doesn't bother me. 66 00:02:29,339 --> 00:02:32,340 Mr. Hawthorne is ready to commence his bequeathings. 67 00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:35,546 Shouldn't you be telling that to an orderly? 68 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,226 He's gonna give us gifts. 69 00:02:37,227 --> 00:02:38,375 Oh, cool! 70 00:02:39,337 --> 00:02:40,317 I mean... 71 00:02:41,722 --> 00:02:42,733 Cool. 72 00:02:42,866 --> 00:02:44,326 I don't want Pierce to die. 73 00:02:44,474 --> 00:02:47,314 But if I'm gonna get bequeathed upon, 74 00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:49,631 I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit 75 00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:52,246 or a signed photo of actor Levar Burton. 76 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,987 Those would be my top two wishes. 77 00:02:53,988 --> 00:02:56,471 My third wish would be a million wishes. 78 00:02:57,269 --> 00:02:58,730 But I'd just use 'em all on 79 00:02:58,731 --> 00:03:00,989 a million signed photos of actor Levar Burton. 80 00:03:02,088 --> 00:03:03,525 Hello, Pierce. 81 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:04,801 Hi. 82 00:03:04,802 --> 00:03:06,933 I got you some things from the gift shop 83 00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:07,706 to cheer you up. 84 00:03:07,707 --> 00:03:09,473 I got you a John Grisham novel 85 00:03:09,474 --> 00:03:11,404 and a funny little coffee mug. 86 00:03:11,405 --> 00:03:13,663 You see how the flea's door mat says "Dog, sweet dog"? 87 00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:15,816 Yeah. Shirley, we both know 88 00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:17,933 that you and I are the most hated in the group. 89 00:03:17,934 --> 00:03:18,861 We do? 90 00:03:18,862 --> 00:03:21,933 And since, in my absence, you'll be the new black sheep... 91 00:03:22,093 --> 00:03:24,120 I'm sorry. That's offensive. 92 00:03:24,276 --> 00:03:25,481 Black swan. 93 00:03:25,837 --> 00:03:27,300 I want you to have this. 94 00:03:27,301 --> 00:03:29,646 It's a compact record and it 95 00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:32,474 contains an audio file of your study group 96 00:03:32,475 --> 00:03:34,760 talking about you while you're out of the room. 97 00:03:34,818 --> 00:03:37,179 It's all here, burnt into this diskette 98 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:38,419 by optical lasers. 99 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:39,259 I don't believe you. 100 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,136 I know it sounds like science fiction. 101 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,266 No, I don't believe there's anything on that. 102 00:03:43,585 --> 00:03:46,878 Then I guess this is good-bye...Forever. 103 00:03:47,904 --> 00:03:49,478 Good... good-bye, Pierce. 104 00:03:55,449 --> 00:03:56,523 Smell you later. 105 00:03:56,809 --> 00:03:58,131 He said it's a recording of you all 106 00:03:58,132 --> 00:03:59,560 talking behind my back. 107 00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:00,550 That's ridiculous. 108 00:04:00,551 --> 00:04:01,424 That's what I told him, 109 00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:03,111 because you all don't do that. 110 00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:04,221 Right? 111 00:04:09,947 --> 00:04:12,949 Mr. Hawthorne is requesting "sour face." 112 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:17,733 Knock, knock. 113 00:04:17,734 --> 00:04:19,145 Is that you, Death? 114 00:04:19,146 --> 00:04:20,711 - It's Britta. - Oh. 115 00:04:20,712 --> 00:04:22,376 Before you speak, I just want to tell you 116 00:04:22,377 --> 00:04:23,936 that you don't have to give me anything. 117 00:04:23,937 --> 00:04:26,379 I am happy to just spend time with you. 118 00:04:26,736 --> 00:04:28,357 You know what Dylan Thomas said about death? 119 00:04:28,358 --> 00:04:29,475 No, tell me. 120 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:30,825 Okay, bluff called. 121 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,503 Britta, you're the selfless one in the group, right? 122 00:04:33,504 --> 00:04:35,502 I wouldn't know. I haven't thought about myself in years. 123 00:04:35,503 --> 00:04:37,660 That's what makes you the perfect recipient 124 00:04:37,661 --> 00:04:38,688 of this bequeathment. 125 00:04:38,689 --> 00:04:40,587 It's a check for $10,000 126 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:42,659 with the payee line blank, 127 00:04:42,753 --> 00:04:45,650 so that you can give it to the charity of your choice. 128 00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:46,578 Wow. 129 00:04:46,899 --> 00:04:50,921 Pierce, this is... surprising. 130 00:04:51,756 --> 00:04:52,795 After what you gave Shirley, 131 00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:54,545 we thought you were playing mind games. 132 00:04:54,546 --> 00:04:55,537 Thank you. 133 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:00,910 Of course, if you are so inclined, 134 00:05:00,911 --> 00:05:02,859 you could always write your own name in there. 135 00:05:06,717 --> 00:05:07,732 Toodles. 136 00:05:08,257 --> 00:05:10,051 I don't want to die in a place like this. 137 00:05:10,296 --> 00:05:11,368 People shouldn't die in the same place 138 00:05:11,369 --> 00:05:12,493 as People magazines do. 139 00:05:12,494 --> 00:05:14,487 I hope to die surrounded by my family. 140 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,728 That's the only way I agreed to be 141 00:05:15,729 --> 00:05:16,751 surrounded by my family. 142 00:05:16,752 --> 00:05:18,091 Me and Abed have an agreement. 143 00:05:18,092 --> 00:05:19,503 If one of us dies, we stage it to look 144 00:05:19,504 --> 00:05:21,531 like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation 145 00:05:21,532 --> 00:05:22,720 of Firefly. 146 00:05:22,932 --> 00:05:24,904 We're gonna get that show back on the air, buddy. 147 00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:27,979 How'd it go? 148 00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:29,288 Huh? 149 00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,316 Oh, fine. 150 00:05:30,317 --> 00:05:31,814 He gave me a check for $10,000 151 00:05:31,815 --> 00:05:33,945 to give to the charity of my choice. 152 00:05:34,229 --> 00:05:35,899 See? He's not messing with us. 153 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,124 - Maybe he just hates Shirley. - What? 154 00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:39,537 Yeah, maybe. 155 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,960 I just need to research a few charities, 156 00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:43,893 because some take a lot off the top 157 00:05:43,894 --> 00:05:45,492 and you think you're giving money to people 158 00:05:45,493 --> 00:05:47,116 that really need it, and you're really giving it 159 00:05:47,117 --> 00:05:50,957 to some middle man who's gonna pay off their parking tickets, 160 00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,015 credit cards, and keep from getting kicked out 161 00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:56,160 of her place in... April. 162 00:05:56,381 --> 00:05:57,398 Ah! 163 00:05:57,783 --> 00:05:59,488 He'd like to see Annie next. 164 00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:00,962 You know what? No. 165 00:06:01,269 --> 00:06:02,214 He'll see Jeff next. 166 00:06:02,215 --> 00:06:03,483 No, but you're not supposed to go... 167 00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:05,409 Or what? You'll do twice as much work as a doctor 168 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:06,736 for half the pay? 169 00:06:07,184 --> 00:06:08,206 Thank you? 170 00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:09,254 It's called a complisult. 171 00:06:09,255 --> 00:06:10,822 Part compliment, part insult. 172 00:06:10,823 --> 00:06:13,590 He invented them. I coined the term. 173 00:06:13,864 --> 00:06:15,177 See what I just did there? 174 00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:16,757 That was an explanabrag. 175 00:06:18,026 --> 00:06:18,691 Hello, Jeffrey. 176 00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:19,689 Pierce. 177 00:06:23,261 --> 00:06:25,126 I've thought about this day many times, 178 00:06:25,127 --> 00:06:27,735 but I've always imagined it differently. 179 00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:29,311 For starters, I thought you'd be the one in bed 180 00:06:29,312 --> 00:06:31,123 and I'd be a hologram. 181 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:32,306 What? 182 00:06:32,307 --> 00:06:34,946 Ah, never mind. There's no time for that now. 183 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,472 Pierce, it's starting to seem, 184 00:06:40,473 --> 00:06:42,055 from observing the others, that you're using 185 00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:45,112 the social leverage afforded you by your alleged deathbed 186 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,799 to exact complicated acts of psychological vengeance 187 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,822 on those closest to you. 188 00:06:48,823 --> 00:06:50,331 Vengeance? Oh, no. 189 00:06:50,332 --> 00:06:52,442 I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. 190 00:06:52,928 --> 00:06:54,432 My father held grudges. 191 00:06:54,758 --> 00:06:56,251 I'll always hate him for that. 192 00:06:56,639 --> 00:06:57,809 Did you get along with your father? 193 00:06:57,810 --> 00:06:59,014 I got along without him. 194 00:06:59,015 --> 00:07:00,685 Oh, that's no good, Jeffrey. 195 00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:01,652 You don't want your dad to die 196 00:07:01,653 --> 00:07:03,283 before you tell him how you feel. 197 00:07:03,284 --> 00:07:04,014 I'm sure you're right. 198 00:07:04,015 --> 00:07:05,638 Look, let's nip this in the bud. 199 00:07:05,639 --> 00:07:08,271 Pierce, we're sorry we didn't respond 200 00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:10,321 quickly enough to your pill addiction. 201 00:07:10,322 --> 00:07:13,573 Is there any chance that apology is enough? 202 00:07:13,775 --> 00:07:16,460 Are you ready to be bequeathed upon, Jeff? 203 00:07:17,091 --> 00:07:18,052 Yeah. 204 00:07:18,145 --> 00:07:19,277 Blow my mind. 205 00:07:19,913 --> 00:07:21,155 I found your father. 206 00:07:22,481 --> 00:07:23,531 Did you now? 207 00:07:23,584 --> 00:07:27,012 William Winger, born Oklahoma City, 1945. 208 00:07:27,386 --> 00:07:29,685 1974, married Doreen Fitzgerald. 209 00:07:29,686 --> 00:07:31,617 Divorced in 1983. 210 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,513 Most recently residing in Dorchester. 211 00:07:33,514 --> 00:07:36,738 Currently sitting in a town car on its way 212 00:07:36,739 --> 00:07:38,591 to this very hospital. 213 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,699 Should be here in an hour or so, 214 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:42,192 give or take a father. 215 00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:44,753 That it? 216 00:07:44,754 --> 00:07:45,553 Yep. 217 00:07:45,554 --> 00:07:46,447 All right. 218 00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:47,902 See you at the funeral. 219 00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:53,164 And so it is bequeathed. 220 00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:02,969 What are you gonna say to your dad? 221 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,358 I'm not gonna say anything because I won't have to, 222 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,335 because Pierce is playing head games with us. 223 00:08:07,336 --> 00:08:08,958 I've decided not to listen to it. 224 00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:09,757 What? 225 00:08:09,758 --> 00:08:12,236 I'm not gonna listen to the CD 226 00:08:12,237 --> 00:08:14,385 of you guys talking about me. 227 00:08:15,965 --> 00:08:16,920 Because I forgive you. 228 00:08:16,921 --> 00:08:19,330 But how do we know what we're being forgiven for? 229 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,824 We don't even know what's on there. 230 00:08:20,825 --> 00:08:22,422 And you never have to. 231 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,204 Hmm. 232 00:08:27,129 --> 00:08:28,366 But what if he is coming, though? 233 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:29,933 What are you gonna say to him? 234 00:08:30,063 --> 00:08:32,204 Here. I'll be him. I'll be him. 235 00:08:33,392 --> 00:08:34,943 Hi. Hey. 236 00:08:34,944 --> 00:08:36,764 Hi, I'm Jeff's dad. Hi. 237 00:08:36,765 --> 00:08:38,133 Hi. Hi, Jeff's dad. 238 00:08:38,134 --> 00:08:39,095 I'm Britta's dad. 239 00:08:39,096 --> 00:08:40,600 - What? Why? - I don't know. 240 00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:42,093 Got drunk, didn't have a condom, 241 00:08:42,094 --> 00:08:44,048 and her mom gets freaky when she hears oingo boingo. 242 00:08:44,049 --> 00:08:45,392 Oh, God, I wish I could relate, 243 00:08:45,393 --> 00:08:47,548 but much like my son, I'm a closet homosexual. 244 00:08:47,549 --> 00:08:48,805 Don't apologize for that. 245 00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:51,063 You're talking to the guy that banged Britta's mom. 246 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,372 I have no standards. 247 00:08:52,373 --> 00:08:53,654 Well, what do you say we take a tumble? 248 00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:54,474 I'll put on a wig. 249 00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:55,793 That's it. You're under arrest. 250 00:08:55,794 --> 00:08:56,656 I'm an undercover cop. 251 00:08:56,657 --> 00:08:57,986 It's not illegal to be gay. 252 00:08:57,987 --> 00:08:59,295 It is here in Iran. 253 00:08:59,296 --> 00:09:00,398 Not when we're in the green zone. 254 00:09:00,399 --> 00:09:01,575 That's Iraq, stupid. 255 00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:02,307 Well, what do I know? 256 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,592 I'm Jeff Winger's dumb, gay dad. 257 00:09:06,877 --> 00:09:08,854 My father was a two-bit con man 258 00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:11,235 of so little substance he couldn't leave a trail 259 00:09:11,236 --> 00:09:12,607 if he wanted to. 260 00:09:12,691 --> 00:09:14,777 And I don't care if Pierce hired Scotland Yard. 261 00:09:14,778 --> 00:09:17,351 He isn't gonna track him down from a hospital bed. 262 00:09:17,352 --> 00:09:19,565 I mean, money can't just make people appear. 263 00:09:20,424 --> 00:09:21,421 Excuse me. 264 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,916 I'm looking for Troy Barnes. 265 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,708 Pierce Hawthorne sent me. 266 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,092 Hey, Troy? 267 00:09:35,095 --> 00:09:36,060 Hi. 268 00:09:36,204 --> 00:09:37,413 I'm Levar Burton. 269 00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:43,021 Pierce got Levar Burton to come here for Troy? 270 00:09:43,336 --> 00:09:45,485 Is there anyone he can't produce? 271 00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:47,156 Now I'm really getting mad. 272 00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:49,568 Why am I the only one he decided to torture? 273 00:09:56,622 --> 00:09:59,223 I told Pierce a thousand times 274 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:02,350 I never wanted to meet Levar in person! 275 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,628 I just wanted a picture! 276 00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:07,356 You can't disappoint a picture! 277 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,675 I hate you, Pierce! 278 00:10:10,848 --> 00:10:13,229 I hate you so much! 279 00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:14,805 Ahem. 280 00:10:17,968 --> 00:10:19,795 Annie, I forgive you. 281 00:10:20,614 --> 00:10:21,916 Annie Edison. 282 00:10:22,476 --> 00:10:24,213 Your bequeathal is at hand. 283 00:10:25,977 --> 00:10:27,983 Do you have a regular job here? 284 00:10:31,286 --> 00:10:34,140 Annie, I know you're being strong for me. 285 00:10:34,521 --> 00:10:36,355 I give you permission to weep. 286 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,804 I'm crying on the inside. 287 00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:39,971 Gross. 288 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,392 Well, in any case, 289 00:10:41,393 --> 00:10:42,774 I want to give you this. 290 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,989 It's been in my family for six generations. 291 00:10:46,553 --> 00:10:47,698 Now it's yours. 292 00:10:49,184 --> 00:10:50,211 Thank you. 293 00:11:08,054 --> 00:11:10,023 Jeff, do you want to see your dad? 294 00:11:10,024 --> 00:11:12,157 - He's not coming. - But do you want to see him? 295 00:11:12,158 --> 00:11:13,123 No. 296 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:14,987 Then why aren't you leaving? 297 00:11:15,816 --> 00:11:17,378 Because I don't care and I'm not 298 00:11:17,379 --> 00:11:19,015 gonna let him think that I care. 299 00:11:19,252 --> 00:11:20,271 Your dad or Pierce? 300 00:11:20,272 --> 00:11:21,411 There is no dad. 301 00:11:21,412 --> 00:11:23,106 And get this thing out of my face! 302 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,633 And don't you dare intercut this 303 00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:26,259 with footage of me freaking out. 304 00:11:30,992 --> 00:11:31,928 Oh! 305 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,753 Is there footage of you freaking out? 306 00:11:34,453 --> 00:11:36,477 Abed, I'm gonna kill you 307 00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,006 and Pierce and Britta 308 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:39,398 and anyone else who thinks I care 309 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,916 about any of this! 310 00:11:41,473 --> 00:11:43,837 So do you go to school nearby? 311 00:11:45,964 --> 00:11:48,279 Well, are you more familiar with me 312 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,539 from Star Trek or Reading Rainbow? 313 00:11:50,823 --> 00:11:52,400 Reading Rainbow was a show I hosted and produced 314 00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:54,140 for 25 years on PBS. 315 00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:55,845 Ever seen it? 316 00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:58,943 ♪ Butterfly in the sky ♪ 317 00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:02,286 ♪ I can go twice as high ♪ 318 00:12:02,745 --> 00:12:03,992 ♪ take a look ♪ 319 00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:05,548 ♪ it's in a book ♪ 320 00:12:05,549 --> 00:12:08,556 ♪ reading rainbow-ow-ow ♪ 321 00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:11,867 ♪ reading rainbow ♪ 322 00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:14,296 ♪ oh! ♪ 323 00:12:14,297 --> 00:12:16,822 Set phasers to "love me"! 324 00:12:17,794 --> 00:12:18,971 What does it mean? 325 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,201 What do you mean "what does it mean"? 326 00:12:20,202 --> 00:12:21,231 No riddles. 327 00:12:21,232 --> 00:12:23,009 You're screwing around with everyone. 328 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,061 You gave me a tiara. What does it mean? 329 00:12:25,062 --> 00:12:28,359 Are these... are these blood diamonds? 330 00:12:28,966 --> 00:12:31,344 Are they holocaust diamonds? 331 00:12:31,345 --> 00:12:32,176 No! 332 00:12:32,177 --> 00:12:33,732 Well, what does it mean? 333 00:12:34,416 --> 00:12:36,812 It means you're my favorite. 334 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,870 What does that mean? 335 00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:40,238 I did it. 336 00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:41,649 I gave away the money. 337 00:12:43,007 --> 00:12:44,322 The red cross. 338 00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,389 You know what that makes me? 339 00:12:46,454 --> 00:12:47,800 A terrible person. 340 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,577 Because if that camera wasn't on me, 341 00:12:49,578 --> 00:12:50,877 I would have taken that money 342 00:12:50,878 --> 00:12:52,576 right out of the mouths of crippled, 343 00:12:52,577 --> 00:12:55,600 starving, malaria-ridden refugee kids 344 00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:58,166 and now I know that forever. 345 00:12:58,542 --> 00:12:59,648 Thanks, Pierce. 346 00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:04,751 Britta, you've got to forgive yourself. 347 00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:05,487 Look at me. 348 00:13:05,488 --> 00:13:07,331 I've forgiven all of you for the horrible things... 349 00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:09,365 Oh, for crying out loud, Shirley, give me that CD. 350 00:13:09,366 --> 00:13:10,494 - Oh! - We're gonna listen to it. 351 00:13:10,495 --> 00:13:11,986 I don't want to listen to it. 352 00:13:11,987 --> 00:13:13,698 Britta, please. Britta. 353 00:13:13,699 --> 00:13:14,960 Britta, wait. 354 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:15,869 Britta! 355 00:13:19,705 --> 00:13:20,683 I'll be right back. 356 00:13:20,684 --> 00:13:22,682 Don't learn anything without me. 357 00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:26,121 So how much do we all hate Shirley? 358 00:13:26,174 --> 00:13:27,279 Pierce, knock it off. 359 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,286 Hey, James Bond, stop trying to record us 360 00:13:29,287 --> 00:13:31,240 with that stupid spy pen. 361 00:13:31,569 --> 00:13:33,044 We can see the blinking light. 362 00:13:33,201 --> 00:13:34,470 Why do you keep trying to record us 363 00:13:34,471 --> 00:13:35,682 bad-mouthing each other? 364 00:13:35,683 --> 00:13:37,629 Because he thinks friendship is a competition 365 00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,277 and he's always trying to get the upper hand. 366 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:41,109 Think Shirley's any different? 367 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,632 - Yes. - Moron. 368 00:13:42,633 --> 00:13:43,663 Hello! 369 00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:45,980 Guess we do owe you an apology, Shirley. 370 00:13:45,981 --> 00:13:48,161 We shouldn't have said those things about you. 371 00:13:54,477 --> 00:13:55,665 I guess the lesson here is 372 00:13:55,666 --> 00:13:58,514 that I sometimes use guilt as a weapon. 373 00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:00,489 What are you doing? 374 00:14:00,518 --> 00:14:02,869 Oh, just shooting a talking head 375 00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:05,324 or did you want me to be the only one 376 00:14:05,325 --> 00:14:06,947 who didn't have one? 377 00:14:07,887 --> 00:14:08,986 No, go ahead. 378 00:14:10,926 --> 00:14:13,012 I think it stems from when I was... 379 00:14:17,151 --> 00:14:18,554 So you found my father? 380 00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:20,483 Yes, he's on his way. 381 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:22,726 I mean, if this is too much to handle, 382 00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:25,246 I completely understand and I can call it off. 383 00:14:25,247 --> 00:14:26,950 Actually, I think I'm ready to see him. 384 00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:29,420 Good. Good for you. 385 00:14:32,014 --> 00:14:34,025 Oh, I should probably tell you... 386 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,149 If you're lying to me, if my father isn't coming, 387 00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:39,564 if a car pulls up and anyone other than my father 388 00:14:39,565 --> 00:14:42,212 steps out... say, an actor or you in a wig... 389 00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:43,884 If you try to pull any Ferris Bueller, 390 00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:46,340 Parent Trap, Three's Company, F/X, 391 00:14:46,341 --> 00:14:48,288 The Deadly Art of Illusion Bull, 392 00:14:48,850 --> 00:14:49,968 I will beat you... 393 00:14:50,702 --> 00:14:53,155 And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it. 394 00:14:54,148 --> 00:14:55,136 Understood? 395 00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:56,337 Crystal. 396 00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:11,407 - Hi. - Hey 397 00:15:11,408 --> 00:15:13,234 - I'm Levar. - Oh, I know. 398 00:15:13,235 --> 00:15:14,800 I was a huge fan of Rebop. 399 00:15:14,801 --> 00:15:16,125 It was cancelled before I was born, 400 00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:18,673 but I scored some VHS copies. 401 00:15:19,254 --> 00:15:21,792 I was nostalgic from a very early age. 402 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:22,753 Cool. 403 00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:25,825 Hey, you know, I assumed that Troy was a fan, 404 00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:27,817 but he hasn't said a word to me since I got here 405 00:15:27,818 --> 00:15:29,829 and now I've got to catch this flight. 406 00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,228 No! No! You can't go. 407 00:15:31,466 --> 00:15:31,967 He loves you. 408 00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:33,484 He talks about you all the time. 409 00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:36,653 How much would it cost to change your flight till tomorrow? 410 00:15:36,654 --> 00:15:39,720 Is, um, $261 enough? 411 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:40,996 'Cause that's all I've got. 412 00:15:40,997 --> 00:15:43,233 - That's all you've got? - Yeah. 413 00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:46,196 No, you... you keep your money. 414 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,829 I'll... I'll reschedule. 415 00:15:49,095 --> 00:15:49,824 Oh, my God. Thank you. 416 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,526 He's gonna be so happy. 417 00:15:51,728 --> 00:15:54,276 You know, you are a very generous friend, 418 00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:56,580 but you're really stupid with your money. 419 00:16:00,081 --> 00:16:01,344 It's not that I'm selfish. 420 00:16:01,345 --> 00:16:04,044 It's just that I'm really stupid with my money, 421 00:16:04,045 --> 00:16:06,315 which is why I'll never have a lot of it 422 00:16:06,316 --> 00:16:08,790 and because I'm a really generous friend. 423 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,183 Problem solved. 424 00:16:10,196 --> 00:16:11,666 Dilemma deleted. 425 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,288 Britta for the win! 426 00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,330 Oh, thank God he didn't take it. 427 00:16:17,331 --> 00:16:20,464 Could you imagine bouncing a check to Kunta Kinte? 428 00:16:45,836 --> 00:16:46,710 Hello? 429 00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:49,469 Jeffrey, this is your father. 430 00:16:50,658 --> 00:16:51,710 Uh-huh? 431 00:16:51,737 --> 00:16:53,765 It's me here in this sedan. 432 00:16:54,449 --> 00:16:56,277 See? I'm waving. 433 00:16:57,153 --> 00:17:00,012 I'm sorry I can't come any closer, my boy. 434 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,932 This is too difficult. 435 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,137 You look too much like your mother. 436 00:17:04,558 --> 00:17:06,151 No, no. Don't come any closer. 437 00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:07,227 As you were. 438 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,454 Well, have to catch a flight to Katmandu, 439 00:17:09,455 --> 00:17:11,358 but I just wanted to say cherish the new friends 440 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:12,402 that you've made. 441 00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:15,058 They're your true family now! 442 00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:18,810 No! Don't open it! 443 00:17:18,811 --> 00:17:20,275 It'll be too hard for both of us! 444 00:17:20,728 --> 00:17:21,845 - Oh, Jeff! - Jeff! 445 00:17:21,846 --> 00:17:23,697 - Son of a...! - Oh, no! 446 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,449 - Oh! - Jeff! 447 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:27,703 No, no, no! 448 00:17:27,738 --> 00:17:29,502 When you improvise a plan, 449 00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:31,471 sometimes you hit a speed bump. 450 00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:34,548 And sometimes you hit it so hard 451 00:17:34,665 --> 00:17:36,829 that you soar through the air, 452 00:17:36,954 --> 00:17:39,534 far beyond your initial expectations. 453 00:17:39,953 --> 00:17:41,805 I set out to take revenge on Jeff Winger, 454 00:17:42,514 --> 00:17:44,863 to scare him with the ghost of his father. 455 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:48,333 Instead, I took over the role of his father, 456 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,711 and helped make him a better man. 457 00:17:51,233 --> 00:17:53,707 It'll be a long time before Jeff Winger 458 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,688 underestimates me again. 459 00:17:58,066 --> 00:17:58,863 Jeff, no! 460 00:17:58,864 --> 00:18:00,835 Why would you do something like this? 461 00:18:00,836 --> 00:18:02,495 Jeff! Come on, Jeff! 462 00:18:03,788 --> 00:18:06,744 Because I'm sick of you people 463 00:18:06,745 --> 00:18:08,848 not taking me seriously! 464 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,900 You forget my birthday! 465 00:18:10,927 --> 00:18:13,795 You don't invite me to your Dungeons and Dragons games 466 00:18:13,796 --> 00:18:16,004 or your secret trampoline! 467 00:18:16,853 --> 00:18:19,041 You guys think I'm some kind of a joke! 468 00:18:19,191 --> 00:18:21,497 This isn't disproving the theory! 469 00:18:23,884 --> 00:18:24,771 Good point. 470 00:18:24,772 --> 00:18:26,393 What'd you say? What'd you say? 471 00:18:26,394 --> 00:18:27,558 What did you say? 472 00:18:27,665 --> 00:18:31,022 Apparently I need to say some things to my father. 473 00:18:31,346 --> 00:18:35,286 Things that I may have screamed at Pierce instead. 474 00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,023 I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it. 475 00:18:39,242 --> 00:18:41,054 But my father deserves it too. 476 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,039 Pierce? 477 00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:46,970 I figured out your test. 478 00:18:47,268 --> 00:18:51,478 Crowns, presents, punishments, favorites. 479 00:18:52,094 --> 00:18:53,306 You're trying to show me the dangers 480 00:18:53,307 --> 00:18:54,806 of my own elitism. 481 00:18:54,962 --> 00:18:57,333 My constant striving to be the best. 482 00:18:57,849 --> 00:19:01,302 So I'm requeathing this tiara. 483 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,668 Because if I become the kind of person 484 00:19:03,669 --> 00:19:05,727 who thinks it's their place to pick favorites 485 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:10,114 and torture the rest, I'll die sad and alone. 486 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:13,247 And that's what you were trying to teach me. 487 00:19:14,018 --> 00:19:15,253 Very good, Annie. 488 00:19:15,816 --> 00:19:16,961 You pass. 489 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:25,054 She's actually just my favorite. 490 00:19:29,594 --> 00:19:31,191 So I thought the documentary format 491 00:19:31,192 --> 00:19:32,716 would be like fish in a barrel, 492 00:19:32,717 --> 00:19:35,401 but as is the case with a real barrel of fish, 493 00:19:35,402 --> 00:19:36,797 after a while, it can become cramped, 494 00:19:36,798 --> 00:19:38,292 chaotic, and stinky. 495 00:19:38,639 --> 00:19:40,396 In their floor and bats... 496 00:19:40,397 --> 00:19:42,291 Fortunately, if in the end, your documentary is turning out 497 00:19:42,292 --> 00:19:43,986 just as messy as real life, 498 00:19:44,389 --> 00:19:45,670 you can always wrap it up with a series 499 00:19:45,671 --> 00:19:46,970 of random shots, which when cut together 500 00:19:46,971 --> 00:19:48,787 under a generic voice-over, 501 00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,513 suggest a profound thematic connection. 502 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,406 I'm not knocking it. 503 00:19:54,639 --> 00:19:55,671 It works. 504 00:19:56,539 --> 00:19:57,512 Guys. 505 00:20:03,388 --> 00:20:04,358 Oh. 506 00:20:04,843 --> 00:20:05,966 Aww. 507 00:20:09,362 --> 00:20:10,959 Jeff and I became... 508 00:20:11,532 --> 00:20:13,705 Kind of like father and son today. 509 00:20:14,683 --> 00:20:16,055 No, we did not. 510 00:20:20,073 --> 00:20:21,181 Troy, I am telling you, man, 511 00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:22,835 this salmon is really good. 512 00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,331 Would you mind passing me the pepper? 513 00:20:34,584 --> 00:20:37,068 ♪ Butterfly in the sky ♪ 514 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,452 ♪ I can go twice as high ♪ 515 00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:44,607 ♪ take a look ♪ 516 00:20:44,856 --> 00:20:46,493 ♪ it's in a book ♪ 517 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,882 ♪ the reading rainbow ♪ 518 00:20:55,566 --> 00:20:58,708 Well, more fish for Kunta.